Her Fragile World

March 21, 2018 The Muse Drop 1 Comments

*Kindly note that authors name is a pseudonym

Disclaimer: 

The events and characters depicted in this story are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons and to other stories are purely coincidental.

Any medical reference may not be completely factual or medically accurate as the author is not a doctor. However, research was carried out in order to ensure information was as accurate as possible.

Authors note:

'Her Fragile World' is dedicated to all cancer patients out there (or any other terminally ill patients). You are in our thoughts, you are in our prayers.
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Prologue

She gasped for air, struggling to breathe. It felt as if her life was spiralling out of control. A single moment had encapsulated her entire reality, forcing her to face her darkest demons. 

The room started to spin. She could barely see anything, her mind succumbed to the sordid darkness that had crept up on her. Her heart beat ferociously in her chest, threatening to explode into a million little pieces, each piece grasping at hope, willing her mind to declare that this was not real. 

But it was real. And her entire being could not fathom the cruel turn that reality had taken. Her world came crumbling down, each piece slashing through her, destroying what she was made of. The hammering pieces continued to lash out at her as she tried to grasp at her life. 

She needed to make sense of what was happening but her mind had fallen too deep into the realms of darkness. She was enveloped by fear, dread, and confusion. She argued within her layers of darkness, telling herself that she would awaken from this terrifying nightmare. 

She could hear the doctor's voice faintly in the background calling out her name. She tried to reach back into the present but her mind continued to toss her around in the darkness. 

She felt a hand trying to steady her as she crumpled to the ground. Her breathing became shallower as the doctor's fateful words repeated in her head. She wanted to succumb to the darkness. She felt herself allowing the darkness to completely swallow her.

As she sank deeper into her own mind; wallowing in the dangerous darkness that threatened to absorb her, the haunting words replayed in her mind. It was as if a song had gotten stuck, refusing to move past the words that continued to play. Her mind repeated the words over and over again, slowly becoming fainter in the darkness that had gripped her. The ugly words reverberated through her, clutching the crevices of her mind. She wanted the darkness to drown the words out. She didn't want to hear it anymore. She couldn't accept that fate had taken this turn and crashed into an iceberg, freezing her world but not freezing time. She could feel herself just heaving along with the dreadful words, pounding throughout her.

Gasping for air, she tried to reach back into the present but she had fallen far too deep into her own mind. She could feel the very mind that she had nurtured give way, collapsing further and further into nothingness.

And as the darkness began to drown out the painful words which began to encrust her mind, she felt the pull of oblivion. The words rang faintly in her mind one more time before she completely blacked out.

"I'm sorry, we detected cancer."

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Part 1

Sixteen year old Maleeha Burke giggled shyly as she locked eyes with her crush. She looked away as her cheeks warmed up in embarrassment.

Maleeha's grandfather was a Caucasian who had married an Indian, hence her last name. Her great grandfather and great grandmother had reverted to Islam before her grandfather was born.

Her best friend, Ammaara, whispered in her ear. "He is SO cute! You guys will look great together!" 

Maleeha was always shy and reserved. She never had the courage to approach any of the boys in her school. Ammaara was the complete opposite, she was confident and outspoken. Although Maleeha had a huge crush on Muaaz, she couldn't quite approach him. Instead, she stole glances at him when he was not looking. 

She glanced at Muaaz again. She watched as his friends passed around a cigarette. She knew he wouldn't be right for her. He had a bad boy reputation and was constantly getting into trouble. He caught her eye again and winked playfully. Maleeha's pink cheeks turned a deep shade of red as she quickly turned away.

Ammaara sighed loudly in exasperation. "Just tell him already!" She urged. "Everyone knows you're crushing on him!"

Maleeha's eyes widened. "Everyone knows?" She muttered meekly. "How?" 

"You think people don't see the way you stare at him?" 

Maleeha gasped. "Nooooo!" She collapsed on the grass, defeated.

"Maleeha." A male’s voice broke into her thoughts. She squinted against the sunlight before pulling herself up. It was Muaaz. 

The scrawny boy gave her a lopsided grin. Maleeha's heart jumped. She heard Ammaara snicker in amusement.

"Muaaz?" Maleeha squeaked. "Wh-what are you doing here?" 

Muaaz' grin spread across his face. "I was wondering if you'd like to hang out with me?"

Maleeha turned to Ammaara, unsure what to do. Ammaara mouthed the word 'GO' excitedly but Maleeha was reluctant. She turned back to Muaaz and mustered up a smile. 

"Ummm..." She began, unsure of herself.

"Oh, come on!" Muaaz urged, smiling wider than before. "We'll have some fun." He winked.

Maleeha gulped. She didn't know what Muaaz meant by 'fun'. She glanced at Ammaara again, silently asking her what she should do. Ammaara shrugged apologetically. She knew that Maleeha was too innocent sometimes and she didn't want to push her friend to do things she didn't want to.

After arguing with herself for a minute longer, Maleeha got up and smiled shyly at Muaaz. "Ok, let's go!" She chimed nervously.

Ammaara's eyes widened in disbelief. She had been kidding when she had urged Maleeha to go. She knew that she was too shy to join Muaaz but her friend had decided to surprise her. 

Muaaz grabbed Maleeha's hand, startling her. This was the first time she had ever held hands with a boy. Maleeha was nervous, yet excited. But the small, nagging voice at the back of her head told her that this was a bad idea. She pushed the thought away and eagerly followed Muaaz. As he led her past his friends, they started whistling and cheering at the two teenagers. Maleeha blushed and looked away, trying hard to hide the smile that crept up on her face.

Muaaz raised his hand as if he was cheering and Maleeha looked away. Maleeha was beautiful and everyone - except her - knew it. She had waist length, chestnut hair that was usually tied back, milky skin that turned golden during the summer months, deep blue-green eyes and pink, plump lips. She was petite for her age and a smile always graced her pretty face. 

Muaaz led Maleeha to a quiet spot at the back of the school. He pulled her against him, embracing her roughly. Maleeha was taken aback. She pushed Muaaz away and looked at him questioningly.

He gave her an assuring smile. "You're so beautiful." He whispered. 

She smiled shyly. "Umm... thank you?" She said with uncertainty.

Muaaz opened his arms invitingly. She looked at him and very slowly approached him. His arms wrapped around her protectively and she relaxed, liking the way he felt against her. She could smell cologne and cigarette smoke in his embrace and she didn't quite like it. She looked up at him and her eyes widened. He was lowering his face towards hers, his lips inches away from hers. She turned her face away and his lips crushed against her cheek. She didn't want to kiss him, she had barely touched a strange male before and the one in front of her was already trying to kiss her.

The shrill ring of the bell broke them out of their embrace. Muaaz smiled at Maleeha, ignoring what had just happened. 

She breathed a sigh of relief before clearing her throat and said, "Time to get to class!"

Muaaz shrugged carelessly. "We don't have to go." He purred into her ear.

Maleeha shuddered. The low voice he used trying to entice her was just plain creepy. Laughingly she said, "Well I really have to get going. Are you joining me?"

He sighed but picked up his bag and followed Maleeha.

The next day, Maleeha found herself alone with Muaaz again. She tried to make conversation with him but he was less talkative than what she had expected. When he did talk, he spoke about himself in a very self-absorbed and conceited manner. He didn't seem to be friendly and he just wanted to hold her. Maleeha was not completely comfortable with being in his arms after the previous day’s episode. She found herself questioning what she liked about him. And the more she got to know him, the less she liked him.

He lit up a cigarette and deeply inhaled the nicotine filled tube. Maleeha watched him as he blew out the smoke and met her gaze. 

"Try it." He offered.

"No, that's okay."

"Come on, don't be boring." He urged.

The voices in her head began to argue. Eventually she gave in and held out her hand. Muaaz handed her the cigarette and she took it from him gingerly. She had never tried smoking before. As she took a giant pull, she was overcome by a coughing fit. She tried to catch her breath as tears streamed down her face. 

"What's happening?" She croaked.

Muaaz tried to stifle his laughter and handed her some water. "I forgot to tell you not to breathe it in so deeply. Just let the smoke into your mouth. Especially since you're a beginner. When you're an expert, you can inhale it into your lungs. You'll get used to it eventually."

Maleeha stared at Muaaz in bewilderment. Did he really think there would be a next time? She watched the smile spread across his face and wondered why she had even had a crush on him in the first place. His teeth were yellowed and his face was thin. He didn't even look attractive to her right now.

"There will not be a next time." Maleeha said icily as she grabbed her bag and made her way back to Ammaara. Muaaz called after her and she ignored him. She was very irritated. 

Ammaara practically pounced on her, the moment she saw her.

"Tell me everything!" Ammaara squealed.

Maleeha groaned in response. "Why would you let me go with him?" She wailed. She began telling her best friend about the two small events in the last two days. She no longer had a crush on Muaaz. Heck, she barely even liked the guy.

Maleeha got home that day in a bad mood. Her older brother, Yusuf, playfully glared at her as she barged into the house. 

"What's your problem today?" He asked teasingly. 

"Don't even ask!" 

She stormed upstairs and slammed the door shut. She was agitated and annoyed. Her thirteen year old sister, Naeela, walked into her room and looked at her sister who was sprawled face down on her bed.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

Maleeha groaned in response.

Naeela, like Maleeha was soft spoken and petite. The girls looked like twins, apart from Maleeha's maturing features. While Maleeha began to look like a young woman, Naeela was entering her teenage years.

"Maleeha? Do you want to talk about it?" Naeela asked softly. 

"Noooo." Maleeha sighed and turned to face her sister. "I don't. I mean I do. I don't know! I'm frustrated." She threw a pillow across the room and slumped her shoulders.

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Part 2

That night, Maleeha settled down at the large dining room table, ready for dinner. She felt better by the time her parents came home.

Her mother, Raeesa, brought a steaming pot roast to the table. The family stared at it in excitement. Raeesa was a great chef and her family loved her food. Her father, Adam was a huge business leader and a multi-millionaire. Maleeha always felt that she had everything. And she did. She lived in an elegant mansion which looked like it was straight out of movie set, she had a loving, caring family, perfect health and everything she had ever wanted. But materialism was not what Maleeha cared about. It was love, friendship and loyalty that interested her.

Unlike many wealthy families, Maleeha and her siblings never felt like their parents were not around for them. The Burke's were very loving and the concept of family was extremely important to them. Life often felt perfect to them. 

Although the Burke's were wealthy, Adam made it a point to remind them that wealth was not important. Often, he would quote the famous hadith, "True wealth is the wealth of the soul (Bukhari)", in order to remind his family that monetary wealth was of no value in Allah's eyes. 

The years began to pass and Maleeha grew beautifully. She became an elegant, young woman who articulated grace and charm. She ended her schooling career with straight A's and enrolled into one of the top universities to study chemical engineering. After the short encounter with Muaaz, Maleeha refused to concentrate on anything other than her studies. She knew what she wanted and she wouldn't let anyone get in the way of that. Especially not a boy looking for fun.

The school holidays were coming to a close and Maleeha was excited and nervous to attend university. Ammaara would no longer be in any of her classes as she had decided to study nursing. For as long as Maleeha could remember, Ammaara had always been by her side. But she knew that she had to grow up and face reality. Ammaara could not accompany her in every step of her life. Nonetheless, Maleeha was grateful that she would still be travelling daily with her best friend to university.

The night before Maleeha's first day of university was stressful. She had packed and repacked her bag at least a dozen times. Yusuf strolled into her room and watched her in amusement. 

"You do know that you don't need to take much on your first day of university right?" He asked. Yusuf was already in his final year of university.

Maleeha practically growled at him. "You never know what can happen! I need to be prepared."

Yusuf raised an eyebrow. "Relax little sis. Take a breath and chill out for a second."

Maleeha looked up and sighed. "I know. It's just that I'm scared. What if I have a hard time finding friends? I mean I know I don't need friends because I'm going there to study and besides, Ammaara will be around but-" 

"-but you will be fine." Yusuf said, cutting her off. "People tend to like you and you're approachable. Relax. University isn't as scary as people make it sound. Stop stressing and get some rest."

Maleeha sighed. "I hope so... I just want it to go well, you know?"

"You'll be fine. I promise." Yusuf told his little sister soothingly. 

Eventually, Maleeha settled in for the night, a million thoughts infiltrating her mind. She just hoped that it would be a good day.


Before she knew it, Maleeha had already settled into a routine. She was in her third month of university and things were going well. 

Often she found herself so engrossed in her work that she rarely had time to make new friends. Ammaara was always urging her to go out more instead of burying herself in her books all the time, but Maleeha didn't feel the need to socialise as much as Ammaara did.

It was a beautiful, sunny afternoon when Maleeha made her way out of the library. She needed the fresh air and for the first time in a long time she was exhausted of studying. She walked along the pavement and relished the feeling of the sun against her skin. She knew Ammaara had gone out for milkshakes with a few girls so Maleeha was alone. Making her way towards a large tree, Maleeha plopped herself on the grass. She placed her bag behind her and rested her head on it. She truly felt at peace.

Maleeha was awoken by a deep, rich voice which was asking her something. She rubbed her eyes and squinted against the sun. The shadow continued to speak as Maleeha tried to gain her bearings. 

Lifting herself up on her elbow, Maleeha asked, "Excuse me? I didn't quite catch a word you said." She smiled apologetically. 

The shadow slowly came into focus and Maleeha almost gasped out loud. She was awestruck by the man in front of her. He was handsome and built. His soft, black hair shone against the sun, his creamy complexion was decorated by dark stubble and his eyes were a beautiful shade of brown with specks of green floating playfully within them. He was tall and had broad, muscled shoulders.

For a second, all Maleeha could do was stare at this handsome stranger. She couldn't remember the last time she had been this distracted by or attracted to someone. Momentarily, Maleeha forgot the promise she had made to herself to ignore random boys. 

"Hello?" He said, waving a hand in front of her face. Maleeha blinked in confusion and tried to focus on what he was saying. "Did you hear anything I said?" He asked in amusement. 

"Uh...I... Sorry about that. I think I had fallen asleep so I was just trying to straighten my thoughts." Maleeha replied.

He flashed Maleeha a perfect smile, presenting a slight dimple in his right cheek. "I was asking you if you're in one of my classes." 

"I don't know."

"I've noticed you around but your face is always stuck in a book. I was pleasantly surprised to see you out here today."

Maleeha finally found her voice. "I felt like I needed a break." She cleared her throat and continued, "What do you study?" 

"Mechanical engineering. I'm in my third year but I'm going for some of last year’s courses during my free time. You?"

"Chemical engineering. I haven't seen you around." She replied. *And I probably would have noticed you* she thought to herself.

"Probably because the only person you look at is the lecturer." He grinned teasingly. 

Maleeha couldn't argue with that. She was so consumed by her own studies that she barely noticed anyone or anything. 

"I'm Umar, by the way. Umar Aziz." The gorgeous stranger extended his hand.

"Maleeha." She said as she took his hand. The sudden electric surge that sped through Maleeha's hand at the touch of Umar made her gasp. She quickly pulled her hand away, hoping he hadn't noticed.

Maleeha felt that she could stare at Umar all day. He was captivatingly attractive. He spoke with a grace that she had never seen before. He didn't seem like a typical young adult and the more he spoke, the more attractive he became. Apart from being charming and witty, he was also intelligent and interesting. He could speak about university, politics, deen or himself with a sparkling passion. He was a breath of fresh air. Maleeha realized that she could not stay away from him. They were like magnets; attracted to one another. Her promise to herself didn't seem to hold when it came to Umar. He was not just a 'random boy'. He was so much more than his handsome exterior. He was wonderful and brilliant. And it didn't hurt that he was so incredibly handsome either. His father was half Arab and his mother was Indian, hence his exotically attractive features.

Umar could not believe that Maleeha was giving him the time of day. He always thought that she was interested in nothing else but her studies. He was glad to learn that the beautiful girl could carry a conversation relating to anything. He could listen to her soft voice and tinkling laughter all day. The more he spoke to her, the more he realised that she had to be his soul mate. It was as if he hadn't realized that he had been searching for her his entire life. She was so perfect for him; he began to wonder if she was real. No human could be so beautiful, so exquisite. He knew that he needed this beautiful angel in his life but he wondered if he could ever be good enough for her.

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Part 3

Maleeha went home that day feeling happy. Her contagious smile lit up the whole house.

"You're in a rather good mood today," her mother commented.

Maleeha smiled. "I just feel... refreshed," she answered.

Raeesa smiled at her daughter's happiness. "What's the reason for this newfound refreshment of yours?"

"I just realised that this world holds some incredible humans. It's refreshing."

Raeesa raised her eyebrows in surprise. Maleeha always surprised her with the way she thought. She always tried finding the good in people even if she was hurt. "Like who?" Raeesa asked.

"Like the lecturer who smiles at you in the hallway or the cleaner who asks how you're doing..." Maleeha trailed off as her father walked in and greeted her with a kiss on the cheek. "Or a mother who is interested in your life and a father who greets you happily..."

"What are we speaking about?" Adam, Maleeha's father, asked.

"I'm just appreciating all the amazing humans I meet." Maleeha said, grinning widely. 

That night Maleeha could not stop thinking about Umar. His eyes seemed to be imprinted into her thoughts and she was eagerly awaiting her next meeting with him. 


The next few weeks passed by in a blur. Maleeha could not concentrate on anything else due to her many upcoming tests. She was so engrossed in studying for her last paper that she didn't even realise that Umar had taken the seat beside her in the library and was staring intently at her with a bemused expression on his handsome face.

Eventually Maleeha looked up and fell into the pools of Umar's deliciously unique eyes. She didn't realise that she had been staring until he snapped his fingers in front of her.

"Earth to Maleeha." 

"Huh?"

"Which universe were you in right now?" he asked

Maleeha finally composed herself. "Sorry, I'm stressed about this last paper."

As Maleeha stretched and rubbed her neck, Umar suggested that she take a break. She quickly agreed as she was so exhausted and her muscles were tensed.

Just as the two walked out of the library, Maleeha heard the faint sound of the adhaan.

"Is it just me or can you hear the adhaan?" she asked Umar.

Umar laughed and pulled out his cell phone. "That was my reminder going off. I'm going to pray, care to join me?" 

"Of course." Maleeha generally prayed all five daily prayers. It was her sense of calm in a crazy, busy world. 

As they made their way to the prayer room, Ammaara approached them. "Maleeha! I feel like I don't ever see you during the day!" she squealed. Her eyes landed on Umar and she turned back to Maleeha with a mischievous look on her face. "I see you're making new friends." 

Blood swarmed to Maleeha's cheeks and she flushed in embarrassment. "Ammaara, this is Umar. He's ummmm... in some of my classes. Umar, this is Ammaara. My best friend since forever."

"Nice to meet you." Umar said in his deep voice.

Ammaara practically swooned. "Likewise." Turning back to Maleeha she winked and said, "We WILL talk later."

The two continued to the prayer room and split up to pray in the designated areas for males and females. When Maleeha was done, she met Umar outside the prayer room.

"Do you want to get something to eat?" he asked her.

"Sure. Anyway, I was wondering, in mechanical engineering do you do some first year chemical engineering subjects?"

"Nope, we don't have to. I just chose to take some extra classes for interests sake."

"Maybe I should do that too..." Maleeha wondered out loud.

Umar laughed. "You really do love learning new things, don't you?"

Maleeha grinned. "You're one to talk. You go for second year lectures for no reason."

Umar winked at Maleeha. "Yes, I plan to impress my future wife with all this knowledge I claim to obtain."

"Claim?"

Umar smiled thoughtfully. "No, I do go for all of these classes but I don't really tell people. I can be a nerd."

"I know that feeling." Maleeha said.

Maleeha began spending more and more time with Umar. The two couldn't seem to get enough of one another. They would study together, sit together during the few lectures that they had, walk each other to the next class and occasionally grab lunch together. 

Umar had a tough exterior but had a soft heart. He was sweet and caring, always putting others before himself. However, he did have a temper. It was his temper that had gotten him into trouble many times. But when he was with Maleeha, he knew that he would not be able to get angry. She was his calm within the tumbling waves of his hidden temper. 

Umar found himself telling Maleeha all about himself, including the little detail about his terrible temper that he was often ashamed of. She held his hand comfortingly, advising him with her gentle words. He could not believe that a woman this perfect had made a place in her life for him.

And Maleeha would often think the same. She could not believe that Umar had welcomed her into his life, allowing her into his mind and sharing his deepest thoughts and hidden fears with her.

"So what is your worst fear?" Maleeha asked Umar.

He thought for a long time before answering her. "Hurting someone for no reason because of my temper..." he looked away, embarrassed. 

"You know, Umar (RA) also had a bad temper but it is something that can be overcome." Maleeha answered.

Umar thought about what Maleeha had said for a second a gave a small smile. "You're right. How did I not realise that sooner? He has given every one of us hope. I mean he was on his way to kill our Nabi (PBUH) and ended up becoming a loved one of Allah. He taught us that no matter how bad your temper is, it is possible that your temper can be rechannelled and your heart softened..." he seemed to be talking more to himself than to Maleeha. Snapping out of his thoughts, he asked, "What is your worst fear?"

Maleeha looked away into the distance. "I'm not entirely sure." she said. Umar remained silent as Maleeha got lost in her own thoughts. Eventually she piped up, "I fear death. Well, not death, rather not being ready for death, you know? Then again, I don't think we'll ever be ready for death."

Umar nodded. "I know what you mean." he said softly.

He glanced at Maleeha and she had a faraway look in her eyes. He took her hand and squeezed gently.

Before either one could realise what was happening, a strong bond of friendship had been formed. And although there was a strong attraction between them, neither acknowledged the unspoken feelings. 

Maleeha had witnessed Umar's temper when she had been walking past a group of males and one of them had harassed her. Umar had witnessed the encounter and was on the verge of losing his mind when Maleeha had placed her hand on his, calming him down. Needless to say, the group had scattered away, pathetically calling out apologies.

Early one morning, Maleeha made her way to the last lecture of the semester. She felt relieved as she needed the much deserved break. Just as she was about to enter the lecture hall, she heard Umar's deep voice behind her.

"Ah, there she is."

Maleeha smiled and turned around. "Umar! How are you doing today?"

"I'm okay... I need a break from university but I'm dreading the break I'll have from you."

Maleeha grinned at him as he fell into step next to her. Maleeha was tiny compared to Umar. He was tall, broad shouldered and very well built. "Aww come on. It won't be that bad," she replied.

"Maybe for you," he groaned. "Your best friend is Ammaara and my best friend is you. Wouldn't you miss Ammaara if you didn't see her throughout the break?"

"You do have a point... But you're my second best friend. I'll probably miss you just as much."

"Probably?" Umar asked teasingly.

Maleeha rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean."

After class, they made their way to a table which had been snuggled under a tree. It was 'their' table. Just as they sat down, a beautiful girl wearing a very short skirt walked straight up to Umar and planted a kiss on his lips.

Maleeha stared at the scene unfolding before her in horror. 

Umar pushed the girl away. "What the-?" He asked angrily.

"I've been dared to kiss you, handsome." She whispered seductively before walking away with a sway in her hips.

Umar wiped his mouth and grimaced before turning back to Maleeha. His apology, along with the bubbling anger within him, died on his lips when he noticed the horrified look on Maleeha's face.

The jealousy that rose within Maleeha felt foreign to her. She never experienced jealousy before and this new territory that had crept up on her was not welcomed. She didn't like it. For the first time in her life, she felt like hurting someone. Preferably the girl who just kissed Umar. She silently counted to ten and closed her eyes trying to steady her breathing.

"You're okay?" Umar asked in concern.

Maleeha tried to steady her voice. "Fine."

"Sorry about that. I have no idea what that was about. I was probably more shocked than you."

She knew that it hadn't been his fault but she wanted to blame him. If he wasn't so handsome, that wouldn't have happened. 

She nodded and ignored the feeling of jealousy that clung to her the way a prickly plant clung to soft fabric. 

When she turned to Umar, she noticed that he was breathing deeply as blood crept slowly to his face. She did not want him to lose his temper so pushing away her own feelings, she took his hand and squeezed gently. "Umar?" she asked. "Look at me," he turned to her slowly and his breath steadied. She smiled warmly at him. "You're good?" she asked.

"I am now." He breathed.

Umar was like a raging fire and Maleeha was his cooling ice. They were so different, yet so alike.

For the rest of the day, Maleeha was in a foul mood. When she finally made her way to Ammaara, she was relieved. She needed to speak to her best friend. 

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Part 4

"Why such a scowl on that pretty face?" Ammaara asked. 

Maleeha launched into the details of the earlier episode. When she finished, she sighed in defeat and Ammaara grabbed her shoulders. 

"Finally!" Ammaara exclaimed. 

Maleeha looked at her in confusion. "What?" 

"You're finally realising that you have feelings for the guy! And I don't blame you. Or that girl for kissing him... Umar is fiiiine." Ammaara said, winking playfully at Maleeha.

A look of annoyance crossed Maleeha's face. "Of course that girl is to be blamed! Who does stuff like that anyway?" She completely ignored Ammaara's statement referring to her feelings for Umar. 

"Whatever. The more important issue is that you're actually acknowledging your feelings for Umar."

"I am NOT!" Maleeha retorted.

"Darling, that feeling you were explaining is called jealousy. And if you're jealous of another girl kissing Umar - whom you claim is nothing more than a friend - then you have feelings for him. I'm sorry to break it to you, but it's true."

Maleeha glared at her friend and crossed her arms over her chest. "You're of no help!"

Ammaara's voice softened. "Think about it hon! You're not a violent person but you felt like hitting that girl right? You're hoping that Umar did not enjoy it right? You don't want another girl touching him right?" Maleeha was about to deny it but Ammaara continued. "Before you deny it, answer yourself honestly. Besides, how would you feel if Umar told you he was getting married tomorrow?" 

Maleeha kept silent and thought about what her friend had said. Ammaara was right. Maleeha had fallen for Umar. As she sifted through her feelings, she realised that she didn't only like Umar. She had fallen in love with him.

Likewise, Umar had fallen in love with her but he didn't realise it yet.

It was during the break when he met up with old school friends after the Friday prayer outside the masjid. They began catching up and speaking about life and marriage when someone mentioned Maleeha's name. Umar's attention snapped to the skinny guy who used to be in school with him. 

"There's this really hot girl I hear of. Seen her when I joined Irfan for a day when he went to uni. But she's always studying. Her name is Maleeha. Heard she's half white and really decent. My parents have been nagging me to find a wife so I was thinking of pursuing some white meat." Ridwaan said with an arrogant laugh.

Umar balled his fists and clenched his jaw. He needed to calm down otherwise his fists were going to have a party with Ridwaan's face. 

Ridwaan continued to speak about Maleeha as if she were an object. As the filthy words left his mouth, Umar felt his temper rising. Very slowly, he inched closer to Ridwaan until he was looming over him.

"Maleeha is my friend. And if I ever hear you say anything about her ever again or I hear you degrading any woman that way again, I will break that mouth of yours. Do you understand me?" Umar said in a soft, menacing voice. 

Fear crossed Ridwaan's face. Everyone that knew Umar knew that they should never get on his bad side. Apart from his large, strong frame, he was also scary when he wanted to be.

Ridwaan nodded as fear enveloped his entire being. He shrank against Umar's unwavering stare and mumbled an apology. 

As Umar walked away, the realisation that had snuck to the back of his mind dawned upon him. He was in love with Maleeha. And he had to make her his.

Umar could not stop thinking about Maleeha. He knew that he was in love with her. Every thought that passed through his mind would inherently turn to her. She was all that he could think about and he was all that she could think about.

Maleeha lay on her bed, twisting the ring her parents had gifted her on her sixteenth birthday. A smile played on her lips as she thought about Umar. She was so lost in her own world that she didn't hear her sister walk in. Naeela stood at the edge of the bed and giggled as she watched her sister, who was oblivious to her surroundings. She snapped her fingers in front of Maleeha, breaking her out of her reverie.

"What are you thinking about so deeply?" Naeela asked her sister teasingly.

Maleeha felt the blood rushing to her face. "Nothing," she said, clearly embarrassed.

Naeela plopped herself on the bed and raised an eyebrow. "Really?" she asked inquisitively.

Maleeha could not hide anything from her sister. Like her best friend, Naeela was another one of Maleeha's pillars. She turned away and leaned forward so that her hair covered her face and mumbled something incoherent under her breath.

"Huh?" Naeela asked in confusion.

"I...um...think...I...I think I'm in love with Umar!" she blurted out. 

Naeela grinned. "You don't say," she said, clearly unsurprised. "Everyone in this house already thinks you're in love with him except for yourself. Well that was until now."

"What? How does everyone know?"

"We see the way your face lights up when you talk about him. And you're kind of always talking about him."

Maleeha's face reddened. "I don't speak about him that much though."

Naeela raised an eyebrow. "You speak about him more often than you realize.

Maleeha thought about it for a moment and groaned. "That bad, huh?" she asked her sister.

Naeela shook her head. "It's not a bad thing. We're all just waiting to meet him now. We feel like we already know him."

As if Umar could sense that Maleeha wanted to see him, he felt the sudden urge to see her too and tell her how he felt but he didn't think that it would be a good idea to just pitch up at her house uninvited.

He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and called Maleeha.

She greeted him in a chirpy voice, sounding pleasantly surprised. "Assalaamualaikum Umar. To what do I owe this pleasure?" she asked teasingly.

"Wa alaikum salaam... I..." Umar cleared his throat nervously. "Do you think we can meet? I'd like to talk to you please."

"Hold on." Umar heard muffled voices and held his breath. "Actually, why don't you come over for dinner tonight? I speak about you so often that my family wants to meet you." Maleeha giggled in embarrassment.

"Sure. See you later." They chatted for a while longer before Umar hung up and headed home. 

He entered the house and was greeted by his soft mother. His mother was one of the kindest women he knew. He planted a kiss on her cheek and greeted her back. 

"Why do you look so stressed out?" his mother asked. 

Umar had lost himself in his thoughts, wondering how he would tell Maleeha how he felt. He snapped out of his wandering mind and smiled at his mother. "No reason."

She knew him too well to believe him. "Well if you want to talk, I'm always ready to listen." 

"Actually... I need to tell you something and I need advice."

"Is it about Maleeha?"

Umar stared at his mother. He didn't understand how she almost always knew what was wrong. "Kind of. I'm invited for dinner tonight by her house." 

"So what's the problem?" his mother asked gently.

"I...Um...I think I see her as something more than a friend."

"Sweetheart, she can't be your girlfriend. You know that... She can only be yours if she were your wife. Do you see her as your future wife?"

"I think so. I think I'm in love with her." Just as Umar said that, he heard the front door open. He was greeted by his father and younger sister, Tasneem. They both made their way out of the kitchen after greeting him, and Umar turned back to his mother.

"Make istikhara," his mother simply said. 

Later that day, Umar waited in the large driveway of the Burke house. The gate slowly opened, revealing the beautiful house which was sprawled in the middle of the large estate. Before he could open his door, it was opened for him. When he finally got to the front door with a bunch of flowers in his hand, Maleeha was already waiting for him.

"Come on in," she said excitedly after greeting him.

The evening went well. Umar was charming and friendly and Maleeha's family got along with him. 

As Maleeha walked Umar out, she said, "Tonight was fun."

"It was. Maleeha... I need to talk to you," he sounded nervous.

"Sure. About what?" she asked apprehensively.

"Us."

Maleeha stared at Umar and her mouth went dry. She didn't know what he wanted to speak to her about. She raised an eyebrow and waited for him to continue as she tried to hide her own nervousness.

Umar cleared his throat. He didn't know how to tell her how he felt. He shifted uncomfortably from one foot to another and looked everywhere else but at her. He could feel her eyes staring into his face and suddenly he blurted, "I'm in love with you."

Maleeha stepped back, utterly shocked. She kept silent for a few minutes as her mind tried to understand what Umar had just said. "You're what?"

Umar's eyes grew intense and he stepped towards Maleeha. He could feel the chemistry between them and he could see that she felt it too. "I love you, Maleeha."

She blinked up at him and very slowly a smile formed on her pretty lips. "I love you too." she whispered. 

**************************************************

Part 5

As the days passed, Maleeha could not stop smiling. Suddenly, colours appeared to be brighter, the air seemed to be fresher, and people seemed to be nicer. 

She called Ammaara to tell her what had happened. The squeal on the other end of the line had Maleeha moving the phone away from her ear and laughing. 

But Maleeha kept on questioning her happiness. She didn't know what to do about her feelings for Umar. She knew that she didn't want to persuade a relationship with him and get caught into the depths of zina. She wanted commitment, marriage.

Umar, too, felt this heavy burden. Although he had his fair share of girlfriends in the past, he was no longer that type of a man. He didn't want to fall into zina and not only accumulate sin for himself, but for Maleeha as well. He felt that he loved her way too much to tempt her into a forbidden relationship. After much deliberation, Umar decided to ask the ultimate Decision Maker by performing istikhara salaah. He received his answer quickly, and so he decided to speak to his parent's.

In the Burke residence, Maleeha also turned to prayer. For she knew that prayer is the solution to all problems, and it is prayer that one should turn to during happiness, sadness, trials, afflictions, rewards or indecisiveness. 

Like Umar, Maleeha also received her guidance. She made her way downstairs to talk to both her parents who were sipping tea in the living room. After Maleeha spoke to them, she felt lighter. She needed to speak to Umar now. Quickly dialling his number, she anxiously waited for him to pick up. 

"Assalaamualiakum Maleeha. I was just about to call you."

"Wa alaikum salaam... Umar..." she trailed off uncertainly. She didn't know how to tell him what she wanted to tell him. 

Before she could continue, Umar spoke again. "We need to talk Maleeha."

Maleeha drew in a deep breath. "We do?" she asked uncertainly. She was afraid that he would tell her that he was not really in love with her and that he had been mistaken. Maleeha's thoughts began to run away with her in ridiculous assumptions.

"Don't sound so nervous," he laughed good naturedly before apologising. "Are you free tomorrow?"

"Yes I am," she replied quickly, almost sounding over eager.

"I'll pick you up at eleven, and we can grab a coffee."

The next day, Maleeha paced her room nervously. She didn't know what Umar wanted to speak to her about. Her mind went into overdrive as negative thoughts infiltrated her mind. She sighed in defeat and decided to get ready. She pulled a sweater over her checkered shirt and smoothed down her jeans. She realized that she looked like she did every other day. She frowned at her reflection and groaned. It looked as if she was on her way to the library. Usually, Maleeha did not care about what she wore or how attractive she looked. When it came to her appearance, Maleeha was neutral. All she really wanted was to look neat and presentable. Deciding to put a little more effort into her appearance, Maleeha gave Ammaara a call, asking her for fashion advice. In ten minutes, Ammaara was in Maleeha's room strewing clothing all over the bed. Maleeha sat at her dressing table as she watched Ammaara rummage through her cupboard. 

"I found it!" Ammaara said in a muffled voice. She poked her head out of the cupboard and wiggled her eyebrows at Maleeha. Pulling a short sequin dress out, she held it up in all of its sparkly glory.

Maleeha raised an eyebrow. "I am not going to a club, and besides, is that even mine? I've never seen it before."

"You can wear it with leggings. I know you don't like showing off skin. This still has the tag on. When did you get it?"

Maleeha shrugged. "I'm pretty sure that you persuaded me to get it on one of our very many shopping trips which you live for."

Ammaara smiled. "That's right. Well if you don't wear it today, it's going to rot in your cupboard."

Maleeha rolled her eyes good naturedly. "Take it. But do NOT wear it for any haram activities," she warned. "And wear it with leggings or something."

Ammaara squealed in delight. "You're lucky I hate showing skin too, otherwise I would have rocked this just the way it is." After rummaging through the cupboard a while longer, Ammaara pulled out a pair of skinny jeans and a pretty floral top. "This?" she asked. 

Maleeha nodded. "That's fine. It won't look like I'm off to the library will it?"

"Nope. Just leave your hair down and put on a little makeup."

Groaning, Maleeha got dressed and brushed her hair. She arranged her wavy locks around her face before grabbing a lip gloss.

"You are not only wearing lip gloss!" Ammaara ordered. Before Maleeha could protest, Ammaara began working on her face.

"Not too much," Maleeha repeated for the hundredth time.

"I don't even know why you have any makeup if you're not going to wear it," Ammaara said.

Maleeha laughed. "You're the one that uses it remember?"

When Ammaara was finally done, Maleeha drew in a deep breath before looking into the mirror. When she finally caught sight of her reflection, she gasped, pleasantly surprised. She looked natural and beautiful.

"I thought you were caking the makeup on but it looks great!" Maleeha thanked Ammaara before grabbing her purse. "How do I look?" she asked Ammaara.

"Perfect - for a first date,"

Maleeha dropped her purse. "It's not a date. And besides, I don't even know if he's still interested in me."

"You are SO delusional honey."

"I'm not and it's not a date," Maleeha insisted.

"If you say so. Anyway, I'll clean this up and then I have a dentist appointment. I'll speak to you later."

Maleeha bounded down the stairs, eager to see Umar. She still had another ten minutes before he would show up. Her mother was perched at the long island situated in the kitchen. When her eyes fell on Maleeha, she raised an eyebrow. "Where are you off to?" she asked with a twinkle in her eye.

"I'm going to meet Umar. I asked you yesterday, remember?"

"Right. Please don't do anything wrong," her mother advised. "You know when a man and a woman are alone, the devil is the third person."

"I know, Mum. And I know this is wrong. I won't justify it in any way," Maleeha looked down, feeling guilty.

"I have to remind you, honey. I may allow you to spend time with Umar but I cannot tell you that it is right because it isn't. It's still haram."

Maleeha nodded. "I know." Just then, she heard Umar pull into the driveway.

He was ushered in by one of the helpers and he placed a bunch of flowers onto the table. "This is for you, Aunty Raeesa," he said smoothly.

Raeesa thanked him and warned him to look after Maleeha. After promising her that he would, Maleeha noticed Raeesa shaking her head and then nodding at Umar. She glanced back at Umar and he just smiled. "Let's go!"

The ride to the coffee shop was silent as each of the two were engrossed in their own thoughts. 

When they finally reached, Maleeha got out of the car before Umar could open it for her as he usually did. She drew in a deep breath and together they walked into the little shop. The strong aroma of the coffee lazily wafted into the air and Maleeha breathed it in happily. As Umar watched her close her eyes and smile as she breathed in the aroma, he couldn't help but smile. Maleeha made his heart happy.

After receiving their coffees, they sat at a small table in the corner. It was quiet and peaceful. The few customers that were there, spoke to each other in hushed tones.

Umar began to speak. "So after I told you that I was in love with you, I was not too sure what our next step would be," Maleeha drew in a breath and Umar continued, "I spoke to my parent's and I asked for advice," Umar paused for a second, and what he said next had Maleeha's heart jumping for joy. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you Maleeha. I don't want to be without you. You're my best friend, my other half... you're my everything," he paused again as he watched a smile spread across her face. "I really love you." He whispered softly.

She wanted to tell him that she loved him too but she was tongue-tied. Instead, she smiled widely at Umar, hoping to reassure him. She sat silently for what seemed like hours before whispering, "I love you too."

They fell into a comfortable silence as they finished off their drinks. Maleeha had barely said anything after declaring her love and Umar was getting nervous.

He opened the car door for her and told her to wait before getting in. He grabbed a scarf from the back seat. "Do you trust me?" he asked Maleeha.

"I do," she whispered.

"I want to show you something but I want to blindfold you first, if that's okay?" Maleeha nodded and he gently tied the scarf around her head so that her eyes were covered. "No peeking!" he ordered as he helped Maleeha seat herself.

They drove for about twenty minutes as Maleeha pestered him about their whereabouts. Umar refused to tell her where they were going. She felt the car slow down and her ears perked up when she heard the whoosh of the water.

After what felt like forever, Umar finally helped her out of the car. She heard him rummaging around for a while and she had to control herself from peeking. 

She felt mist hit her face as Umar led her forward. Eventually, he came to a stop. He undid the scarf and whispered, "You can look now."

Maleeha shivered at the husky sound of his voice. Very slowly, she opened her eyes and gasped. They were standing on the inside of a waterfall. On the one side, a small picnic basket was placed which held mini sandwiches and grape juice. 

"What's all this?" Maleeha asked. 

"You'll see," he winked at her.

After having a quick snack, Umar led her to a flat rock, very close to the waterfall. It seemed like a different world from behind the waterfall. It was exceptionally surreal as the water thundered down, spreading mist and calm throughout. 

Maleeha gazed at the waterfall and Umar gazed at Maleeha. She looked so at peace. Very slowly, he knelt on one knee and opened a little black velvet box. When Maleeha turned back to him, she was taken aback. 

"Maleeha Burke, will you marry me?" He asked as he held out a beautiful ring which glistened perfectly in the sunlight.

For a full five seconds she just stared at him. Suddenly, her face burst into a smile, "Yes! Yes! Yes!" It was as if Umar's world had been a grey, cloudy day right up until now. With Maleeha's 'yes' and her smile, Umar felt that the clouds opened up and the sun shone brightly through his world. He slid the diamond ring onto her finger before he stood up and pulled her into a hug. As they pulled apart, he could feel the intensity course through him. He wanted to kiss her but he stepped back before he allowed his feelings to take over. She too, had to step away. Their nervous laughter blended together, coupled with the thunder of the water. It was the perfect setup. 

They made their way back home. When Umar stopped in the Burke's driveway, Maleeha noticed Umar's parent's car parked outside. 

"What's going on?" she asked.

Umar grinned. "You'll see."

"You're full of surprises today, aren't you?"

They walked into the spacious mansion and Maleeha was greeted by congratulations by her family and by Umar's family.

"How...?" she trailed off.

"We were all in on Umar's plan to propose to you." Yusuf said. "He asked for Mum and Dad's blessing yesterday. I was so tempted to follow you guys to make sure that you didn't do anything wrong. You should be glad that I started to trust Umar, otherwise I would have been right there, ruining the romantic mood." Yusuf then turned to Umar. They were the same height but Yusuf was slim and lean compared to Umar's muscled frame. "If you ever hurt my sister, you will deal with me." Yusuf threatened before laughing and slapping Umar on the back.

Maleeha turned to her family and beamed with joy. She couldn't believe that this was really happening.

"You didn't tell us where you were going." Maleeha's mother said, her eyes twinkling. 

"I didn't know myself." Maleeha said softly, feeling slightly guilty.

"We know. You ran out of the house before we could tell you anything."

Umar turned to Maleeha. "I want to get your parent's blessings in your presence." He turned to Raeesa and Adam and asked, "Uncle Adam and Aunty Raeesa, will you give me the honour of marrying Maleeha?"

Both of Maleeha's parent's agreed again.

Later that day, Maleeha called Ammaara to tell her about the good news. Her best friend could barely contain her excitement. 

"So, we're going shopping!" Ammaara exclaimed. "We need to get you prepared for your wedding and your marriage. You need new clothing, sexy underwear, lingerie... Oh! And you need facials and waxing and..." Ammaara rambled on and Maleeha smiled. She wasn't into any of that but Ammaara was.

"Do I have a choice?" Maleeha interrupted. 

"No! This is your wedding. I know you don't care about materialistic stuff but this time you have to. And besides, you have an unlimited bank balance! We can finally use it!"

Maleeha couldn't help but smile at Ammaara's enthusiasm. She didn't want to burst her bubble so she agreed to all of Ammaara's crazy requests.

**************************************************

Part 6

After the proposal, the wedding preparations were put into full swing. Maleeha tried to avoid it as much as possible but more often than not, she would get caught into the crazy web of colour schemes, decor and catering.

One day, as Maleeha settled into a seat outside the library and soaked up the sun, she was greeted by a strangely familiar face.

"Maleeha," a males voice interrupted her thoughts.

She looked up. "Ummm, do I know you?" she asked.

"It's me! Muaaz!" 

Maleeha looked at him questioningly, unable to recognise him. "Ummm..."

"We were in school together," he clarified.

Maleeha's face registered in recognition. "Oh," she said without enthusiasm. Muaaz hadn't changed much. He was still skinny and lanky, and a creepy smile was attached to his face.

"Fancy seeing you here," he said.

Maleeha laughed sarcastically. "It's a university. There's nothing odd about that."

Muaaz ignored her statement. "So I was wondering... Would you like to join me for a coffee?"

Maleeha lifted her left hand. "I'm engaged."

A look of disappointment crossed his face just as Umar walked towards them.

"Assalaamualaikum Maleeha," he greeted.

Muaaz looked up at him. "Don't bother dude, she's engaged. I'd love to see the guy that has her off limits."

Umar looked at Muaaz, a bemused expression on his face. "What's it to you?" he asked.

"Nothing. I just want him to know that she was mine first."

"I'm no one’s property," Maleeha piped up, clearly irritated.

"That's right. She's not your property, nor anyone else's for that matter," Umar agreed.

Muaaz laughed arrogantly. "Your chivalry won't get you anywhere. She's engaged!"

"Yes, to me." Umar replied coolly. 

Muaaz stood up and tried to level with Umar but he was almost half his size. Realising that he was no match, he mumbled an apology and stalked off. And from that day on, Muaaz never made an appearance in Maleeha's or Umar's lives again.

Umar laughed, not fazed by the lanky guy who had tried to challenge him. "Who was that?" he asked.

"Some guy I thought I had a crush on but realised that I was mistaken after spending two recesses with him," Maleeha admitted shyly.

Umar laughed again. "That's interesting."

"He made me try smoking, I was not impressed."

"Well, I know that you don't need me to stand up for you because you're independent and you have made that perfectly clear, but if you want me to tell him to leave you alone, I will."

Maleeha grinned. "I doubt you'll have to. You scared the poor guy off. I actually feel sorry for him."

"And don't worry, I won't lose my temper. I'm a chilled out guy now. I've met the one girl who can calm me down."

Maleeha smiled happily. Umar was right, he had calmed down tremendously. What she didn't know was that he rarely even got angry anymore. He really had changed.

The time leading up to Maleeha and Umar's wedding approached incredibly quickly. Both families were so busy with the planning that they barely had time for much else. Maleeha tried to stay away from the wedding planning as she wanted to concentrate on her studies. Fortunately, Raeesa, Naeela and Ammaara took over everything. Maleeha didn't mind leaving everything in their capable hands. If it was up to her, she would have a small, intimate Nikaah. Her family had other plans though, they wanted an elaborate wedding boasting many guests. Maleeha didn't mind as she was just glad that she didn't have to help with all the preparations.

She was already nearing the end of her second year. It was more than a year since Umar had proposed to her. The two were often found in the library with their heads buried in their books. Umar was busy with his final honours year and rarely had time for anyone except Maleeha. Apart from spending their time studying in the library together, Umar and Maleeha planned to stay away from each other as much as possible even though they yearned for each other's presence. 

They sat in the library the day before their final exams began. Maleeha shut her textbook with a heavy thud and sighed loudly. She was tired and her head started to hurt. 

Umar glanced up from his book. "Are you okay?" he asked with worry etched on his face.

"Fine," Maleeha grumbled.

Umar laughed. "Hey," he said gently. "Relax."

When Maleeha's eyes met his, she couldn't help but smile. She stared into his handsome face, a small smile playing on her lips. His eyes twinkled, lighting up the doorway to his soul. Maleeha felt that she could get lost in his hazel-green eyes and escape into a world of bliss. The stubble on his cheeks had darkened and grown during the last few weeks leading to exams.

Maleeha sighed again, but this time she did so in contentment. Umar watched as her worried face cleared up, revealing the smile that he had always admired and loved. "Sorry," she apologised. "I tend to stress at the most random times."

"So I've noticed," Umar teased gently. "And you should know that from now on, your stress is my stress. Your worries are my worries. Your sadness is my sadness. So don't worry anymore. Let me worry for you."

Maleeha's grin grew wider. "Likewise. And your happiness is my happiness and your smiles are my smiles."

Umar agreed and Maleeha felt much better. She decided to forget about stressing and to take things as they come.

Before they knew it, they had both completed their final exams. The wedding date was fast approaching and Maleeha's excitement could barely be contained. Umar had managed to secure a great job before he even began with his final exams. He felt that he was all set for his future. 

And so is life. The promise of happiness does not necessarily lead towards a life of happiness unless it is by Allah's will. It is Allah that determines the course one’s life would take and it is Allah who determines the extent of one’s happiness or sadness. After all, it is said in the Holy Quraan, “But you cannot will, except as Allah wills, the Lord of the Worlds."

The Burke house buzzed with a sense of exhilaration with many family members that Maleeha hadn't seen in years. She escaped to her room and was greeted by an excited Ammaara and Naeela. 

"Come on!" Naeela urged. "Your final gown fitting is today!" 

Maleeha groaned. She had completely forgotten about it and all she wanted to do was flop onto her bed for some much needed rest. "Do we have to go?"

"Yes!" replied Ammaara and Naeela in unison. They bounded down the stairs and practically dragged Maleeha out the door.

When they got back to the house, Maleeha almost collided into Yusuf. "Maleeha!" he exclaimed sounding exasperated. Before she could apologise, he continued, "Every single Aunty from Mum's side is trying to hook me up. Apparently when your younger sister gets married before you do, it's a crime." He was clearly agitated.

"I'm sorry brother," Maleeha apologized sympathetically. "Maybe you should tell mum to tell them to back off."

"I tried but she's so busy with all the wedding preparations."

Maleeha shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you," she said apologetically.

"Find me a wife," Yusuf grumbled before walking out the door.

Maleeha knew that many of her aunties from her mother's side would bring about their traditional thinking. When Maleeha's mother had married her father, Raeesa's family had had many opinions. Thankfully for Raeesa, her parents did not succumb to societies expectation regarding same caste or same race marriages.

In fact, Raeesa's family could not accept Adam's family for a very long time as he was not only of the same caste but he was also not of the same race. Raeesa's parents could not understand why it was such a problem. 

After all, one race is not superior than another. An individual from a specific caste is not better than an individual from a different caste. It is religion that plays a significant role in the lives of many. And it is Islam that honours one, not one's race or stature. Each person from the ummah of the prophet Muhammed (PBUH) was specifically chosen to be a part of his ummah. And when the Lord of all the worlds places one into Prophet Muhammed's (PBUH) ummah, the greatest honour is bestowed upon that individual. Race, stature and lineage is just an excuse to separate the human race. 

Later that week, Maleeha sat on her prayer mat as she pondered upon her life. It couldn't have been more perfect; she was truly blessed with the very best. She smiled as she raised her hands, thanking her Lord for all that had been bestowed upon her. Her heart soared with happiness and contentment, cocooning Maleeha into its comforting depths.

The days started to pass by faster and Maleeha began to feel nervous. Marriage was such a big step and Maleeha wondered if she was ready for it. 

As the day turned into night, Maleeha lay awake in bed and stared into the abyss. Tomorrow she would be a married woman. She would no longer only be a daughter and a sister but she would also be a wife. She grabbed her journal from her night stand and took a deep breath before she poured out her worries onto the page. She shut her journal and breathed an unknown sigh of relief. She felt slightly better but her sense of worry had not completely evaded her. She didn't think that she could be a good wife. Before she could be consumed by her whirlwind of thoughts, Maleeha decided to pray. She needed an assurance from her Lord that she would be okay. 

So when Maleeha finally settled into bed that night, she felt better. She knew that she would be okay and she silently promised herself that she would be the best wife she could be. Her heart finally felt at ease. She was truly happy, content.

**************************************************

Part 7

The Burke residence rang with the laughter and chatter of its inhabitants. It was Maleeha's wedding day and the atmosphere was electric and contagious. Family members were rushing about, the soft scents of savouries along with the fresh scent of baked goodies wafted through the air, and the house shone with the excitement of the atmosphere.

Maleeha was awakened by her soft, insistent alarm. As she opened her eyes, a grin appeared on her face. Today was the day. She had a few hours left as a single woman. She entered the kitchen, still in her pyjamas. Naeela took one look at her and dragged her back to her room.

"Ammaara will kill me if you're still in your pyjamas when she gets here," Naeela scolded playfully.

Maleeha rolled her eyes. "Well it's MY wedding day," she grumbled.

Naeela laughed. "Come on Maleeha! She's so excited for you. Now put that smile that everyone is so used to back on your face."

Maleeha couldn't help smiling. "She's almost more excited than I am. Did you see the amount of shopping she forced me to do? I doubt I'll wear half that stuff."

The sisters chatted for a while longer before Maleeha began to get ready. A short while later, Ammaara rushed into the room in a flurry of activity, followed by a hair stylist and a makeup artist.

Ammaara barked orders whilst everyone fussed over Maleeha. When they were done, Maleeha felt like she could breathe again. Everyone filed out of the room, leaving Naeela and Ammaara with Maleeha. 

Before Ammaara started to talk, Maleeha grabbed her hand along with Naeela's. "JazakAllah to both of you. You both have done so much for me and I am so undeserving." Maleeha's voice began to crack as tears threatened to spill down her cheeks.

Ammaara cleared her throat and looked away. "Oh no you don't!" she said, trying hard to keep her voice from wavering. "You can't mess up your makeup now. There's no time to be emotional. Save that for later." Maleeha and Naeela laughed. They could always count on Ammaara to lighten the mood.

Naeela wiped away her tears and hugged her sister. "No crying! No crying! No crying!" she whispered. 

The three girls pushed their emotions aside and began helping Maleeha into her beautiful satin gown. 

There was a soft knock on the door and Raeesa walked in. "Oh my! You look..." Her voice got caught in her throat and she looked away. Keeping her emotions at bay, Raeesa continued to speak. "You look gorgeous, sweetheart! Are you almost ready?"

Maleeha nodded, too afraid to speak because she felt like she would burst into tears any second. 

The three woman fussed over Maleeha for a few more minutes before heading off to get ready. Maleeha sat in silence as she tried to calm her crazy nerves. She glanced at the time and realised that it was almost time for her nikaah. Just as she was about to switch on the receiver to listen to her nikaah, Ammaara walked in, looking as glamorous as ever.

"Ammaara! You look beautiful!"

"But not as beautiful as you. Have you even looked in the mirror?"

Maleeha shook her head, realising that she had completely forgotten to look at herself. Ammaara led Maleeha into her dressing room in front of the full length mirror. Maleeha drew in a breath, surprised to see how elegant she looked.

"Wow." Maleeha breathed. "I feel like a... bride!" She giggled shyly.

Ammaara breathed a sigh of relief before breaking into a smile. "I'm glad you like it. Since I brought the hair stylist and makeup artist, I was afraid you would blame me if you didn't like it."

Maleeha turned to her best friend and tried to keep the emotion out of her voice. "I would never blame you. You just want everything to be perfect for me. How can I ever repay you?"

"Continue to be there for me for the rest of my life, okay?" Ammaara responded, tears brimming in her eyes. Before her emotions could surpass her, she switched on the receiver. Naeela and Raeesa joined them and minutes later, Maleeha was married. As soon as the imam announced the nikaah, Maleeha heard her family erupt into cheers downstairs.

After greeting her entire family, they finally made their way to the reception and Maleeha could barely sit still. She was anxious to meet her husband. 

After what felt like ages, Maleeha was to walk into the large hall on her father's arm. As she stepped into the large, bright room, she was met by a collective gasp. 

Maleeha looked beautiful. Her long hair was pinned in an elegant style with soft tendrils loosely framing her beaming face. Her white satin dress moved softly with each step that she took and her face shone with a brightness like no other. Her trail lazily brushed the floor as she moved forward, looking like an angel walking through fluffy clouds.  She was the epitome of beauty. When Maleeha's eyes met Umar's, she completely forgot that she was surrounded by hundreds of others. The people around her blurred and Umar was her only focus. Her face burst into a grin and his expression mirrored hers.

The hall was decorated in an elegant flow of beige and cream, with flowers decorating the entire room. It was so beautiful that people would stare at it in awe before walking in.

Umar and Maleeha made a beautiful couple, complementing the venue. They were flawless to their onlookers. They stared into each other's eyes as their guests stared at them. Their pure love seemed to infuse the air around them, electrically charging the atmosphere. 

Maleeha greeted her new sister in law, Tasneem. Tasneem seemed to share Ammaara's excitement. She was bubbly and energetic as she gushed about the wedding. When Naeela appeared at Maleeha's side, Tasneem and Naeela immediately hit it off. Maleeha knew that she would get along with Tasneem. Her bubbly personality was infectious.

Eventually, the day came to an end and after an emotional greeting with Maleeha's family, the young couple made their way to their new home. 

"Do you like it?" Umar asked Maleeha as they pulled into the driveway. "I know it's smaller than what you're-"

"It's perfect," Maleeha breathed.

"Anything can be perfect as long as I have you by my side." Umar replied.

Although Umar was well off, he couldn't help but worry that he could not provide Maleeha with all that she was provided with in her father's house. Maleeha turned to face him and as if she could read his mind, she said, "True wealth is the wealth of the soul." 

Her simple words enveloped Umar, comforting him. He smiled at his bride. "This is why I married you. You are absolutely perfect."

The first thing they did together was pray. It was a beautiful moment that seemed to enlighten their hearts and enlighten their house. They sat on their prayer mats and Umar raised his hands and began to make a beautiful dua.

When they were done, Umar walked over to his blushing bride and pulled her into a passionate embrace. Maleeha breathed in his comforting scent and smiled to herself. This was merely the beginning of their happily ever after. 

Little did she know that sometimes happily ever after does not last a lifetime. For it is Allah's will that defines lives and changes destiny. And it is only Allah that decides how one’s life will unfold. Life and the course it will follow has been prewritten by the King of Kings, by Allah. After all, one cannot merely change taqdeer but taqdeer can change one - unless sincere dua is made.

**************************************************

Part 8

Maleeha and Umar spent their honeymoon in the blissful Maldives. The soft white sands complemented the deep blue sea. The freshness within the air caressed their entire beings. They were at peace and madly in love. 

Maleeha playfully flicked Umar's ear as they sat on the beach. He laughed and turned to her. "I love you more than you know habibti," he whispered softly.

Maleeha smiled and closed her eyes. "I love you too habibi..." she paused for a second and opened her eyes. "You know, I never really thought I'd fall in love with a handsome stranger. I kind of thought that after my studies, I'd get a job and then have my parents choose a suitor for me. But this... this is way better than I ever imagined."

Umar grinned. "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, you know that? You make me a better man. I mean, before you entered my life, I wasn't too sure how I would ever control my temper but it's as if your very presence tames the beasts that reside within me... And my love for you has filled my heart, softening it. There's no room for my temper anymore."

"You've always had a soft heart." Maleeha cupped her husband’s face in her hands. "And besides, I've prayed for your temper habibi."

Umar kissed her hand. "So have I. And it feels as if it does not even exist anymore."

Maleeha nodded and planted a soft kiss on her husband’s lips. A mischievous smile curled her lips and she flicked his ear again, playfully.

Umar's eyes glinted. "What was that for?"

Maleeha quickly stood up. "That was for fun. Let's see if you can get me back." She ran towards the ocean, laughing as Umar gained on her. He grabbed her by the waist and she squealed in delight. They splashed around until the sun began to set before heading into their room. 

For the rest of the week, the young couple was enveloped by love and bliss.

Their honeymoon became their favourite memory by the time they settled into their normal routine. Maleeha would attend university and Umar would go to work. Weekly, the couple would spend time with both their families and friends.

Maleeha became so engrossed in her studying again that she would barely look up. That night, she entered the house later than expected.

"Habibi?" she called out, wondering if Umar was home.

He appeared out of nowhere, dressed in a well fitted suit. 

Maleeha stared at him for a good few seconds, unable to get over the sight of her handsome husband. "What's the occasion?" she asked him.

"Well today marks one month since we've been married so I want to take you out."

She gasped. "It's been one month already? I thought a month would only be next week!"

"It has. And I knew that you would be too busy with your books to remember."

Maleeha flushed in embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I was at the library and I lost track of time."

Umar laughed. "My wife is more interested in her books than in people."

"Well it's my last year and I just want to get through it."

"I know. And I completely support you," he said reassuringly. "Come my lady." He extended his hand out to her and she took it obligingly.

Umar had planned a romantic dinner. He took her to the rooftop of a large building, which overlooked the city. The tiny lights twinkled in the distance, holding the secrets of the city. Umar had organized the food from Maleeha's favourite restaurant. There were two waiters, dressed in black and white, waiting on the happy couple. It was beautiful and delicious. 

"JazakAllah habibi," Maleeha said, grinning widely. "That was perfect." 

She stood up and walked towards the edge of the building. Umar wrapped his arms around her waist and the two swayed happily against the wind. 

Maleeha looked out into the distance and sighed in contentment. "Don't you wonder what this city holds? It probably contains happiness, sadness, hope, joy, love, hate..." she trailed off.

"Your mind continues to fascinate me," Umar replied. "What makes you think of all that the city holds?"

Maleeha shrugged. "Well, Alhumdullillah. We're experiencing such perfection but there's probably someone out there who is hurting. I wish we could do something for them. We should set out at least one day a year to do something good..."

Umar nodded thoughtfully. "You're right... And even if we're ever put into an unfavourable position, we just need to remember that Allah is testing us... We'll be able to get through it." He remained silent before continuing, "I have an idea. The weekend before our anniversary we should spend the day with orphans or the elderly... or anyone that is lonely. Perhaps we can bring a smile to their faces."

Maleeha beamed with joy. "That's perfect! We can start that as a tradition. And we can do so in order to thank Allah for granting us such happiness. I love it! You're a genius habibi!" 

"It was your idea, I just helped in fuelling it... And exactly. Every action is judged by its intention. So we'll make sure our intentions are pure and we'll do this every year, In Sha Allah."

"The smiles of those who are less fortunate will be enough to keep me happy!" Maleeha exclaimed. She turned back to the view in front of her and relaxed her shoulders. "We'll make you happy, oh sad souls. With Allah's help, we'll return those smiles that you have lost," she whispered into the air, silently promising herself to do small good deeds which made a difference in the lives of others.

The young couple continued to strive to make one another happy. Although their lives were busy, they ensured that they had time for each other. 

Before they knew it, Maleeha's final exams dawned upon her, signalling the end of her studies. She was ecstatic, she would finally be less stressed than usual. She had been fortunate enough to secure a job at the same company that Umar worked at. All she had to do was ace her final exams.

Within a month, Maleeha completed all of her exams. She was finally done with university. In a few short weeks, the couple would celebrate their first anniversary and Maleeha planned to surprise her husband.   

But before her little surprise for Umar, they needed to fulfil the promise of making the less fortunate smile. They planned to spend the Saturday before their anniversary at the local orphanage. They bought a dozen different types of foods, gifts and necessities. Maleeha could not stop jumping in her seat, she was so excited. 

When they finally reached the orphanage and made their way towards the little kids, they were met by smiles and laughter. They unloaded the car and began to set everything up.

Later that day , Maleeha got into the car, exhausted but happy. The children had been ecstatic, their personalities and excitement had been bouncing off the walls, infecting all those around them with their pleasant smiles. 

Umar glanced at his tired wife. "Tradition?" he asked.

"Definitely!" Maleeha replied. "That was amazing! Their smiles have warmed even the coldest parts of my heart."

"I don't think there's a part in your heart which is even remotely cold," Umar said. 

Maleeha shrugged. "I loved today... And I love you."

Later that week, Maleeha was preparing the house for her anniversary. She stared at the ribbon and shook her head. "This is just not right!" she muttered in frustration. She was trying to decorate the house with Ammaara and Naeela before Umar got home. It was their first wedding anniversary and Maleeha wanted it to be perfect.

Ammaara grabbed the ribbon from her. "Leave it to me, sweetheart! I'll take care of this. You can start cooking and Naeela will place the candles all over the house."

Maleeha went to the kitchen and began preparing her husband's favourite meal. Soon after, Ammaara joined her in the kitchen. 

"Done?" Maleeha asked.

"Yeah. Naeela is just laying out all the petals now. Anyway, I wanted to speak to you about something."

The tone in Ammaara's voice caught Maleeha's attention. She turned to face her best friend. "What is it?"

"Let's wait for Naeela and I'll tell you together." When Naeela entered the room, Ammaara started to speak. "So you know that I have always been close to your family right? Don't get mad now but you need to know the truth... Don't get mad. Both of you. Hear me out before saying anything."

The Burke sisters shared a nervous glance. They didn't know what Ammaara was speaking about. 

"What's going on?" Naeela asked softly.

Well... a few months ago Yusuf and I ran into each other. We ended up going for coffee after that and well... we kind of started to chat constantly. At the time, I didn't think much of it until I realised that I have feelings for him. And those feelings are reciprocated. Maleeha, Naeela... your brother and I are in love. We want your blessings before speaking to our parents..." She trailed off as she looked at the two sisters. "You guys are mad right? I knew you'd be mad! Why did I let anything happen?" Ammaara moaned in despair. Maleeha and Naeela were staring at her, their mouths hanging open. "I'm so sorry! Don't be mad!" Ammaara pleaded.

Maleeha finally found her voice. "Mad? Are you crazy?" A huge smile crept onto her face. "That's wonderful!"

"I'm so happy for you!" Naeela squealed.

Ammaara looked between them, clearly confused. "So you're not mad?"

"Why would we be?" Naeela asked incredulously.

"I... you..." Ammaara was at a loss for words.

"We're ecstatic! We always used to tease Yusuf with you. Ever since we were little. Oh my! This will be amazing! You'll actually be our sister in law!" Maleeha began rambling as she hugged her best friend. For as long as she could remember, Maleeha always secretly hoped that her brother and her best friend would get married. 

**************************************************

Part 9

Umar walked into the candle lit house and drew in a breath. The house was decorated with little candles and rose petals were scattered throughout. The scent of fresh baking, coupled with the delicious aroma of his favourite food wafted through the house and he inhaled deeply. Maleeha greeted him in a low voice, before making her appearance. She was wearing a short, tight, red dress and black, strappy heels. Her hair fell in soft waves around her face and her lips were painted in a deep, inviting red. Umar almost fell over as his eyes raked over his wife. 

She greeted him with a passionate kiss before leading him to the kitchen and surprising him with the meal she had prepared, stuffed beef. She spent the rest of the night by surprising him and spoiling him. Umar could not be happier. Neither of the two had known that happiness like theirs could ever be achieved. 

It is only Allah that grants happiness to those whom He wishes and it is only Allah who can take it away. And for Maleeha and Umar, happiness was all that they knew. They had their ups and downs like any other couple but it wouldn't last for more than a few minutes. Their hearts soared with love, cruising with delight as it captured memories that would be vaulted forever. 

If happiness so intense can be experienced in this world, then surely Jannah cannot be fathomed by the human mind. For Jannah is the place of perfection and this world is the place of flaws. Heaven will envelope one into its deepest crevices, hugging one in the safety of it, whilst this world will toss one from the east to the west, whispering the fact that it will always be temporary. 


Months later, Maleeha had started her new job after formally graduating at the top of her class. She felt as if she was living her dream. With Ammaara and Yusuf's wedding date approaching, Maleeha spent most of her free time assisting her best friend and her brother with wedding preparations.

She entered the Burke residence and was greeted by her sister.

"Good! You're here. We have so much to do!" Naeela said as she practically pounced on Maleeha.  

Tasneem appeared from the kitchen. "You're here! Great!" Tasneem and Naeela had formed a strong friendship ever since Maleeha and Umar had gotten married. Since the two were close in age, they immediately hit it off. Apart from that, both girls were studying teaching. Tasneem was often found in the Burke residence with Naeela.

"Aren't you supposed to be in university?" Maleeha asked. 

"I went and I'm back already. I don't spend my whole life in the library you know," Naeela responded teasingly. 

"The lecture didn't seem important anyway," Tasneem chimed in.

Maleeha shook her head. "So what do we have to do?"

"Well Tasneem and I need help with the thank you gifts for the Walima. Oh and Ammaara wants you to go shopping with her tomorrow since it's the weekend. For her trousseau."

Maleeha groaned. "That goes without saying. But I can't complain. She did so much for me when I was getting married. I don't know how I'll ever repay her."

"Repay who?" Ammaara said as she walked through the door with Yusuf. 

"You. What do we have to do?" Maleeha asked.

"You guys are coming with me for the next few gown fittings, you don't have a choice. Maleeha, you're coming shopping with me tomorrow. I need to find a makeup artist and a hair stylist as well. The caterer and venue has been sorted out... Hmmm... Where is that list of mine?" Ammaara was rambling off points and Maleeha smiled. 

The next day, Maleeha got ready to go shopping with her best friend. Umar was still asleep as Maleeha got dressed. She glanced at her sleeping husband and her heart soared. She lightly pecked him on the cheek before grabbing her purse. She was about to walk out of the room when her hijab caught her eye. She picked it up and stared at it, contemplating whether she should don it or not. 

"Well I do wear it on Fridays." She muttered to herself before wrapping it around her head. 

Minutes later, Maleeha was waiting outside Ammaara's house. Her best friend bounded towards the car and stopped short. 

"Maleeha Burke?!? Are you wearing the hijab? It's not even Friday!"

Maleeha shrugged. "I just felt like wearing it today."

"Well you look good with or without a hijab."

Maleeha grinned. "So do you."

"I'll wear it when I'm ready." Ammaara retorted teasingly as she winked.

The two made their way to the mall. Maleeha watched in amusement as Ammaara flounced from rack to rack, chatting away. Maleeha began feeling nauseous and light headed. She didn't want to ruin the day so she grabbed a seat while her friend tried on shoes. 

"Ammaara, I'm going to the bathroom okay?"

Before waiting for a response, she ran to the bathroom and she had just made it before she began throwing up. She rested her head in her hands and groaned. 

"Maleeha?" She heard Ammaara calling. She exited the stall and rinsed her mouth before popping a breath freshener into her mouth. "Are you okay?" Her friend looked at her in concern.

"I'm fine. I think it was that sandwich I ate yesterday."

"We can go home if you want."

"Nope, I'm fine!" Maleeha lied. "Let's do this!" She tried to fake enthusiasm.

An hour later, Maleeha was throwing up again.

"Okay, you're going home." Ammaara ordered. "You don't look too good. What kind of a nurse would I be if I just ignore these tell-tale signs?"

"No," Maleeha tried to argue back. "I'm fine," she insisted weakly. "What are you talking about in any case?"

"No you're not. You have to be well for my wedding so you better get your rest now." Ammaara ignored the second part of Maleeha's question.

"But I owe you..."

"You do NOT owe me for anything," Ammaara said in exasperation. "You're my best friend. I will do anything for you, and I will do it unconditionally. Just the way you always do things for me unconditionally."

Maleeha felt too weak to argue so she nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise hun. Just rest and get better soon."

They drove home and Ammaara explained to Umar what had happened. Before leaving, Ammaara checked all of Maleeha's vitals to ensure that it was nothing serious. Although Ammaara suspected what was wrong, she decided not to say anything. Not yet, anyway.

Later that week, Maleeha waited for Umar anxiously. She couldn't wait to share the good news with him.

He walked into the house, greeting loudly. "Habibti?" he called out.

"I'm in the kitchen," she responded. "Guess what?" she said as she flew into his arms.

He laughed good-naturedly. "Well you're rather excited to see me today."

She ignored his comment as she was bursting with the good news. "I'm pregnant!" She squealed in delight.
**************************************************

Part 10

Umar gasped in surprised before bursting into a grin. "You're not kidding right?" He asked hopefully.

"Of course not! We're having a baby!" Maleeha said, practically bubbling over in excitement. 

Umar lifted Maleeha effortlessly and spun her around before showering her with kisses. "Alhumdullillah!" He exclaimed excitedly. 

"Alhumdullillah," Maleeha repeated. "Anyway, that's why I've been feeling so sick lately."

Umar carried Maleeha to the room, insisting that she should rest. And it was from that very day that Umar waited on Maleeha's every need, handling her ever so preciously. 

With Maleeha's pregnancy and Yusuf's wedding, the Burke house buzzed in excitement. Everyone disallowed Maleeha to work and so she called up Ammaara and asked her if she could be of any use.

"No girl. You need to relax. You have precious cargo you know?" 

Maleeha groaned. "I know but I'm not useless. Please tell me that there's something I can do. I'm bored and irritated because no one lets me do anything around here. I mean it's barely been a month and everyone is making it seem like I'm nearing the end of my pregnancy."

"Fine. I'll come get you in five. I'm going for my final fitting today and I need to choose my accessories. You can help me with that."

Maleeha waited impatiently for Ammaara to pick her up. When Ammaara pulled into the driveway, Maleeha practically ran out to meet her.

"Finally!" Maleeha exclaimed. "I've been so bored."

"Sorry sweetie. Anyway, I've been meaning to ask you if you have started wearing the hijab now? As in full time?" Ammaara asked.

"Yes, I have. It's not as hard as I thought it was and I like it."

"That's good. Because, every time I see you, you're wearing it. I'm glad that you are."

Maleeha smiled. "Umar is also glad that I decided to wear the hijab. I had no idea that he wanted me to."

"That's great! I wonder what Yusuf thinks about it."

"He's neutral. He always said that he would want his wife to make her own decision regarding hijab."

Ammaara smiled. "Well in that case, I'll do so when I feel ready."

"You may never feel ready. You just have to take the plunge. That's what I did," Maleeha advised.

Ammaara sighed. "I know..." She trailed off, lost in her own thoughts.

The two ended their day in exhaustion. Maleeha was tired from looking at anything sparkly and Ammaara was tired from all the shopping she had done. The entire day, she ensured that Maleeha found a seat while she brought her options to Maleeha so that she could help in all her decisions.

The week sped by and Ammaara's wedding day had finally arrived. Maleeha sat on Ammaara's bed, helping her get ready. The two friends chatted happily as they went about.

"I can't believe that this is finally happening!" Maleeha squealed in delight. "I've always joked around with Yusuf, teasing him with you. I never really thought that it would happen. It was like a farfetched, crazy dream... Something that would happen in another universe..." 

Ammaara smiled excitedly. "I know! It feels unreal! And besides, I never really looked at your brother in any way except in the 'he's my best friend's brother' way. When I looked at him - I mean REALLY looked at him - I couldn't get over how hot he was. Those eyes... those lips..." Ammaara looked dreamily into the distance.

"Okay, ew. That's my brother. Let's not speak about his looks." Maleeha grimaced.

"Oh come on! You all have those gorgeous Burke features. So I'm also complimenting you."

Maleeha shook her head. "No... Just no. Please stop." 

Ammaara rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Anyway, in a few minutes you and I are finally going to be sister in laws. How cool is that?"

The girls spent the rest of the time getting ready before leaving for the hall. After Ammaara squirmed into her dress with the help of one of her aunties, she paraded in front of Maleeha. "So? How do I look?"

Maleeha drew in a breath. "You look like you belong on the cover of a bridal magazine. You look beautiful!" Maleeha gushed. Ammaara wore a princess styled dress, encrusted with silver studs. Her hair was pinned in a complicated up do and her face looked flawless. She really did look like she walked out of a bridal magazine.

"So do you," Ammaara replied. "That pregnancy glow really suits you."

Maleeha got up and fussed with Ammaara's dress before stepping back. "Perfect!" she stated, tears brimming in her eyes.

"No. Please don't cry," Ammaara pleaded. "You're going to make me cry."

"Sorry, it's the hormones..." Maleeha said, delicately wiping away her tears.

A few hours later, Ammaara was finally married and the air was charged with excitement.

The wedding went off beautifully, everything looked amazing as the stunning couple was united. The eventful evening came to an end and the guests started to leave. 

Later that evening, Maleeha settled in for the night as she nestled into Umar's arms. "Can you believe that my brother and my best friend decided to get married?" she mused.

Umar pulled her closer. "Allah works in mysterious ways. It's amazing."

Maleeha nodded tiredly. "That's true. I wonder which mysteries await us." She stifled a yawn.

Umar planted a kiss on her forehead. "Everything in our lives has been so amazing. Allah will not disappoint us. Besides, if things don't go our way, it's just a test. And it's the tests that we go through that defines our strength."

"My husband is so wise," Maleeha said teasingly. "But you're right. And as long as we have each other, life will be easy."

"Now it's time for you to get to bed, love. You're so tired, it looks like you're about to fall.

Maleeha recited her prayers and kissed her husband before falling into a deep sleep.


**************************************************

Part 11

The rest of Maleeha's pregnancy passed by without any complications. She eventually opted to work twice a week from home so that she could rest because she was constantly tired. 

Umar continued to look after Maleeha as best as he could. She was his precious pearl in this dangerous world, and he would do anything to ensure her comfort and happiness.

During their second anniversary, Maleeha was heavily pregnant but had insisted on completing their tradition. Umar eventually gave in and they visited an old age home. The old men and women had welcomed the young couple with joy. It wasn't often that they received visits from strangers who were willing to spend time with them. 

A small, frail woman came up to Maleeha and smiled brightly. "You're having a baby?" she asked as her eyes wandered to Maleeha's swollen belly.

Maleeha smiled back. "Yes, I am," she said as she took the woman's thin arm and led her to a chair. 

They settled down and the woman began giving Maleeha advice. "Remember that your child will always belong to Allah. You were chosen to look after him or her. Do so correctly and according to Allah's commands. He or she will not be yours forever. Never forget that." The woman continued to give Maleeha advice in a soothing tone.

The day came to an end and the young couple greeted the inhabitants of the old age home. Within a mere few hours, Maleeha and Umar had won over the hearts of many. When it was time to leave, the old men and women bid farewell to them, thanking them. They had tears in their eyes as the young couple drove off.

Maleeha glowed from within which enhanced her already beautiful features. Her tiny frame grew and she began putting on a little weight. Umar thought that he was already madly in love with her and that his love for her could grow no more. But indeed, with each passing day he fell more in love with Maleeha.

The effects that she was being treated like royalty was evident on her face. Although she was always smiling, her smile during her pregnancy was brighter, wider and so much more contagious. She could win hearts by merrily walking past a group of strangers. It was a rare gift that she had been blessed with. It was as if she was placed on this earth to make people happy.

Nine months had flown by in no time. Maleeha was due any day and everyone eagerly awaited the arrival of the Aziz baby. Maleeha and Umar opted to keep the gender of the baby a surprise.

They grew impatient, yet excited. They could not wait to hold their precious bundle of joy in their arms. 

After nine, long months, Maleeha's water finally broke and she was rushed to the hospital. After what felt like hours, she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who had rosy cheeks, plump lips and her mother's pretty eyes. 

Maleeha held her little baby in her arms, her eyes full of love. Umar looked at his little family, grinning from ear to ear. 

Maleeha looked up at her husband. "She is the most gorgeous baby I have ever laid my eyes upon. Who knew that this kind of beauty existed?"

Umar kissed her forehead. "I knew that this kind of beauty existed." He leaned towards his baby and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. "Have you seen how beautiful our baby's mother is?"

Maleeha blushed as her family walked into the room, congratulating her. They cooed over the little bundle of joy which Maleeha held. 

When the room cleared out again, Maleeha looked at Umar. "Yusra," she said. Before Umar could reply, she continued, "Everything in our lives has been so easy, Alhumdullillah... And even if we do experience hardship, Allah has promised that after difficulty comes ease. Let's name her Yusra. It means ease."

"That's perfect," Umar whispered as he watched his sleeping baby. "Yusra Aziz. It has a nice ring to it."

The young couple held on to their little blessing, their hearts happy. As little Yusra grew, she began looking more and more like Maleeha. 

Maleeha and Umar could have never been happier. They had a perfect little family and they were happy. Yusra's smile would light up the house, it was infectious.

The little family continued to relish in their pure joy. Little did they know that darkness would soon follow. After all, what would the point of this world be if one was never tested? What would the point be if there was only happiness and no trials? Who would strive for Jannah and all of its perfect glory if this world held that which every person yearns? 

And it is imperative to remember that the believer will be tested. It is mentioned in the Holy Quraan "And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits…" 

Even though a test will befall a believer and he will be pulled into the deepest depths of darkness, there is a promise that he will be pulled out of the darkness and laid into light. It is only faith that can save a soul from drowning in that darkness continuously, even after one has been granted light.

It didn't take Maleeha too long to adjust to the role of a mother. She was a natural. Umar had insisted on hiring a nanny to help out with Yusra but Maleeha preferred doing everything herself. After Umar's persistence, Maleeha finally gave in and agreed that the nanny could help her out twice a week.

With each passing day, Yusra grew beautifully and captured the hearts of everyone she laid her large eyes upon. 

It was a bright, sunny Saturday when Maleeha called her family over for brunch. It had been quite a while since they had all gotten together and Maleeha missed her family. 

The doorbell rang just as Maleeha set Yusra down. She hurried to the door, smoothed down her top and opened the door with a bright smile.

"Assalaamualaikum!" Maleeha greeted Ammaara and Yusuf. "I've missed you so much!" she told Ammaara, squeezing her in a hug. 

Yusuf cleared his throat. "What about me, little sister?"

Maleeha grinned. "I missed you too, Yusuf. Where have you guys been?"

Ammaara grabbed Maleeha's hand. "With moving, it's been quite hectic and I didn't want to call you because you need to give our little angel all of your attention. Besides, it's only been three weeks since I last saw you."

Umar walked in with Yusra in his arms and greeted Ammaara and Yusuf. The moment they saw Yusra, they forgot about everything else. They turned their attention to their little niece just as Adam, Raeesa and Naeela pulled into the driveway followed by Umar's family. 

After everyone was ushered into the dining room, Maleeha got up to get the food she had prepared. In minutes, the table was laden with delicious looking breakfast foods. 

As Yusra made adorable faces when her mother fed her the different foods, the family watched on in amusement. Yusra had the attention of everyone around her and she seemed to enjoy putting on a show. 

"She looks just like you Maleeha," Tasneem said. "Sorry bro." She smiled at Umar apologetically.

"The only thing she seems to have of Umar is..." Naeela trailed off.

"...nothing." Tasneem completed and the family burst into laughter.

Naeela turned to Umar sheepishly. "I tried to find something," she said and shrugged her shoulders.

"Well I'm happy she looks exactly like her beautiful mother." Umar said, making Maleeha turn crimson.

After a little more playful banter, Maleeha began clearing up. 

When Ammaara joined her and whispered something in her ear, Maleeha squealed in delight almost dropping the large bowl she held.

"Are you kidding me? I'm so excited!" Maleeha exclaimed.

"Don't tell anyone yet though. It's only been a week since I found out that I'm pregnant," Ammaara replied.

"Of course!" Maleeha placed the bowl carefully on the table before grabbing Ammaara in a hug. "This is wonderful! I hope you have a daughter. That way Yusra will have a readymade best friend! Well even if you have a boy... I'm just so excited!" Maleeha rambled on, joy evident in every word.

Ammaara laughed. "I knew you'd be this excited."

The rest of the day passed by pleasantly. The family enjoyed the quality time they had together before everyone parted ways.

Later that night, Maleeha prayed behind Umar after Yusra had fallen asleep. The sound of his voice calmed her heart. It felt as good as stroking soft velvet. Maleeha closed her eyes, relishing every word. She sighed in contentment as Umar concluded the prayer. 

Umar turned to Maleeha just as she said, "You really should think about becoming a hafidh. Your voice is beautiful."

Umar nodded thoughtfully. "I want to. I just need to find the time."

"Make the time," Maleeha pressed on. "I'll help you," she said earnestly. "We can do it together."

Umar watched his wife and smiled. "Okay... I'll start soon In Sha Allah."

Maleeha paused. "Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously. I want to become a hafidh."

Maleeha jumped into his arms, laughing and crying. "Today you have surprised me in the best way possible habibi."


**************************************************

Part 12

Maleeha was sorting out her cupboard when her journal fell to the ground. She picked it up and smiled. 

She sat on the floor after finding all four of her journals. She paged through the first one. She had started writing in it when she was a seven-year-old girl. It was sloppy and untidy, but Maleeha had used it until she was twelve. 

As Maleeha continued to page through all of her journals, she was overcome by nostalgia. When she picked up her last journal, Maleeha smiled and vowed that she would began writing in a journal again. She paged through it and laughed. Her entries were spaced out and all she spoke about was university, up until she met Umar. The last post was dated the night before her wedding, where she had highlighted her fears. Maleeha laughed at her silly fears. There were a few pages left of the journal and they were all blank except for the last page. Maleeha's eyes fell on the list before her. It simply stated 'GOALS'. Her eyes scanned the list as she mentally ticked off what she had achieved.

GOALS:
1. Get into a good university
2. Pass every year
3. Graduate at the top of my class
4. Fall in love with the man I marry
5. Spend a day doing good
6. Have kids
7. Visit Makkah and Madina
8. Wear the hijaab
9. Perform all my salaahs
10. Learn 40 hadiths
11. Never stop smiling
12. Always be thankful
13. Get a great job
14. Plant a tree
15. Build a well
16. Perform random acts of kindness
17. Teach my children how to perform salaah

Her list was followed by a few question marks and a note that said: 'what else?' Maleeha had completely forgotten about her list. She took her journal with her and typed out her list before printing it and sticking it up next to her bed. 

When Umar noticed the list, he asked, "What's this?"

"It was in my diary. I must have written it when I was sixteen. I was rearranging my cupboard when I found my journals and this was in it. I like the idea of having my goals visible. I've achieved a few of them."

Umar read the first few out loud. "Fall in love with the man I marry?" he asked questioningly.

Maleeha giggled. "Oh! So I always thought that I would graduate and let my parents find someone for me. I didn't expect to fall in love before I graduate."

Umar's amused frown slowly dissipated until he understood. "Seriously?" he asked, a smile playing on his lips.

"Yes!" Maleeha exclaimed. "Anyway, I thought about completing it and maybe starting a new one..."

Umar nodded in agreement. "That sounds like a good idea."

Before Maleeha realised it, it was her third anniversary. Staying true to her word, she and Umar decided to visit a shelter. This time, they took little Yusra along with them. The little girl was excited to see all the new faces. Maleeha felt tired towards the end of the day but decided not to say anything otherwise Umar would insist on leaving earlier. The day came to an end and Maleeha flopped onto the bed. Yusra lay peacefully in her room as she too, was exhausted.

"Tired?" Umar asked.

"Exhausted." Maleeha stifled a yawn.

"Let's pray first and then you can go to sleep. Besides, tomorrow is our anniversary and I have a surprise for you." Umar said excitedly.

The next day, Maleeha left Yusra with Raeesa so that she could celebrate her anniversary with her husband. Umar had surprised Maleeha by first taking her for a hot air balloon ride and then by arranging the entire house to be decorated with roses and candles and setting out a dinner table outside.

Maleeha gasped when they walked into the house. She turned to Umar. "Wow! This is beautiful."

"You like it?" Umar asked.

"I love it! It's perfect! The whole day has been one wonderful surprise."

Umar winked. "Well, all of this is not the surprise I was talking about," he said as he gestured to his surroundings.

Maleeha's eyes grew round. "Really?" she squeaked. "What could be better than this?" Umar held out his hand and Maleeha took it. He silently led her outside and seated her at the beautifully decorated dinner table. "So, who did all of this?" Maleeha asked.

"Tasneem and Naeela. Ammaara wanted to help but since she's a few months pregnant, they made her the 'project manager'. You know how much she loves doing these things."

Maleeha laughed as Umar lifted the lid off Maleeha's plate. "This is your main surprise habibti," he whispered in her ear.

A single white envelope lay on the plate. Maleeha looked at Umar questioningly but he just smiled at her. She opened the envelope and practically fell over. "No! Really?" No! Oh my gosh! This is amazing!" Her mouth was moving faster than her brain. "This is not a joke, right?"

"It's not a joke. We're going for hajj this year!"

Maleeha squealed in delight. She could not believe it. "Did you plan this after you saw my list?" 

Umar shook his head. "I applied when applications opened. I wasn't even sure if they would accept us this year but I thought that it wouldn't hurt to try."

"This is the best surprise I have ever received!"

That night Maleeha sat on her prayer mat, thanking her Lord over and over again. She had never been this ecstatic for anything in her life before. It almost felt like a dream. 

When she woke up the next morning, she asked her husband if she had been dreaming or if he had really given her a hajj ticket.

"We're really going habibti." Umar replied, a bemused expression on his handsome face.

Excitedly, Maleeha gave the good news to her family. They too, could barely contain their excitement.

When Maleeha told Ammaara, she broke into a huge grin. "We're going too! I'll be heavily pregnant but In Sha Allah it will be okay."

After Maleeha prayer her salaah, she fell to the ground in prostration. She could not believe that she was going for hajj and that her best friend would join her.

When she gave Umar the news, he didn't seem surprised. "You knew?" she asked.

Umar smiled. "Yusuf and I applied together. When he told me, he said that I should not tell you because Ammaara wanted to tell you. Apparently she had trouble not telling you because she knew I wanted to surprise you."

Maleeha flew into her husband's arms and showered him with kisses. "What did I ever do to deserve someone so perfect? What did I do to deserve you?" she asked.

"And what did I do to deserve someone who stepped straight out of my dreams?" Umar replied.

The stared into each other's eyes, caught up in the intensity of their love.

**************************************************

Part 13

Before Maleeha realised it, she was bidding farewell to Yusra who would be alternating between her parent's and Umar's parent's while they were away. She kissed Yusra's soft cheek as she wept. She was beyond ecstatic to be going for hajj but her heart cried as she would be separated from her little daughter.

Silently praying that Allah would ease their troubled hearts, Maleeha and Umar waved to their family before passing security. Ammaara and Yusuf were just behind them and they all made their way to the boarding gate. The atmosphere of all those around them was charged with a joy that Maleeha had never experienced before. 

The flight was long and tiring. More so for Ammaara, who felt uncomfortable throughout the flight. But Ammaara's discomfort and Maleeha's tiredness could not get the best friends down. They were too excited to visit the blessed lands and perform their hajj.

It was nearing dusk when Maleeha and Umar settled into their hotel room. They were exhausted but excited to see the Kabah. Neither of the two had ever been to Makkah or Madina before, so they were unsure as to what to expect. They readied themselves for the Maghrib prayer and went into the haram. 

When Maleeha's eyes fell onto the Kabah, she was overwhelmed. With a lump in her throat, she stared at the majestic, yet, simple beauty in front of her. The large cube loomed over her and even though it was dressed in black, it shone with light like nothing she had ever seen before. The noor emanating from the Kabah seemed to spread across the building-filled desert.

Maleeha heard Umar suck in his breath next to her. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the Kabah. She stood frozen in the same spot for what seemed like hours, appreciating the beauty of the structure that had been carefully placed upon this earth. Silently, she made little prayers, still unable to peel her eyes away from the Kabah.

And when the Maghrib adhaan sounded loudly from the speakers, Maleeha's heart skipped a beat. The magnificent sound reverberated through her entire being, echoing throughout her. She felt warm, safe and completely overwhelmed by the beauty that surrounded her. Even the sunset appeared to be more beautiful. With tears running down her cheeks, she took Umar's hand and kissed it in appreciation before whispering a prayer for her husband's wellbeing.

As Maleeha stood in the congregational prayer, her heart continued to beat erratically. A feeling she had never experienced before overcame her, enveloping her comfortingly. She closed her eyes as the words of the imam washed over her, allowing herself to be transported into the abyss of perfection. She heard Ammaara sigh contentedly next to her before swallowing her sobs. Maleeha too, could not hold back her tears. 

When the imam concluded the prayer, Maleeha raised her hands to Allah, thanking Him over and over again for blessing her with such an amazing opportunity.

Maleeha and Umar performed their Umrah along with Ammaara and Yusuf. Before they knew it, the time for Hajj had dawned upon them. Their first stop was Mina, where they would spend the night and offer Dhuhr, Asr, Maghrib and Esha. After spending the night, they performed their Fajr salaah and made their way towards Arafat.

Maleeha stared at the thousands of white peaks of the tents which were already filled with people. 

She recalled learning that when Allah had created the souls, he had asked them "Am I not your Lord?" to which the souls replied, "Yes, for certain. You are our Lord." As Maleeha pondered upon this, she recited her conviction in her Lord again, renewing her faith. Her mind wondered off as she tried to recall what else she had learned.

She was broken out of her reverie when Ammaara said, "This is where we will be raised when we are given life again. After the second trumpet is blown by the angel, Israfeel." 

Her voice was soft, as if she was speaking to herself. Maleeha remained silent and pondered over what her friend had said and shivered, silently praying that she would wake up from among the favourable ones.

When the sun had set, they made their way to Muzdalifah where they would spend the night. Maleeha settled next to Ammaara, who was staring intently at the sky.

"Alhumdullillah," Maleeha whispered.

Ammaara turned to her. "It's all just so beautiful. This entire place seems to shine."

Maleeha nodded as she rested her head on her travel pillow. "There's some sort of peace that settles in your heart even though we're always busy."

Concluding their chat, they softly began whispering the praises of Allah before falling into a deep, peaceful sleep.

The rest of their hajj went by beautifully. After the completion of their hajj, they made their way towards Madina. 

The moment the driver announced that they had arrived in Madina, Maleeha was overcome by a different kind of peace. It was as if her entire soul had been caressed with the peace that can only be felt in Madina. Her eyes blurred over as she thought about the prophet Muhammed (PBUH). She was in the very place that he was buried. It was almost too much to handle. 

After freshening up in the hotel room, Maleeha and Umar made their way towards the haram where Maleeha met up with Ammaara, and Umar met up with Yusuf. When Maleeha and Ammaara reached the prophet Muhammed's (PBUH) grave, they inevitably burst into tears.

After praying, the two girls sat in a quiet corner of the beautifully structured masjid and Maleeha allowed her mind to wander to the life of the prophet. She closed her eyes and the story about the prophet Muhammed's (PBUH) visit to Taif entered her mind. When she thought about her beloved Nabi (SAW) being stoned for merely calling people to the deen, her heart began to bleed. 

The very man that had cried for the ummah and endured heartache and pain for his ummah is the same man that the ummah blatantly disregards by overlooking his Sunnah. He was the very man that did not want those that had hurt him to get hurt. He was the very man that brought about hope in a place that had been drowning in unknown despair. He was the very man that cried for his ummah on his death bed. He was created by Allah with absolute perfection and free of sin. He was the light that had lit up this entire world with his very presence. He was honoured fourteen hundred years ago and he is honoured today. After all, if Allah wants one honoured, not even the entire world with all that it holds can dishonour one.

Leaving Madina was absolutely heart-breaking. Maleeha sobbed hard, she knew that she would leave her heart in Madina and she already yearned to return to the Holy Lands. 

The peace that her heart had become accustomed to was only possible in Madina. She had never experienced these kind of feelings before. It was as if her heart had been soothed and her soul had been born again. She felt spiritually clean, new. 

Umar too, felt that he had left his heart in the holy lands. His heart cried to be reunited with Makkah and Madina. Both Maleeha and Umar had fallen in love with the two blessed cities from the moment they had stepped foot into it. Both cities were equally mesmerizing. Although completely different from one another, each city was filled with its own beauty. And it was a beauty so completely eloquent, that even the hardest of hearts would have fallen in love with it.

**************************************************

Part 14

By the time the two couples had returned from hajj and settled back into their routine, Ammaara was due. 

Late one evening, Umar received a call from Yusuf. Ammaara had given birth to a little girl. Excitedly, they went to the hospital to visit the new member of the family. The little girl was beautiful, she had inherited her looks from both her parents.

Ammaara and Yusuf had decided to name their little girl Sakina. When Yusra saw the little girl, her eyes lit up. 

Maleeha laughed. "It looks like Yusra already loves her." 

Ammaara nodded. "Who knows? They might become just like us."

A few months later, Maleeha sat on the porch watching as Umar played with Yusra. The little girl was bossy with her father, as she already knew that she had him wrapped around her finger at her tender age.

Maleeha smiled at the scene before her. When Umar caught her eye he winked, making her blush. 

Maleeha had been feeling tired lately and she could not understand why. She had recently decided to start working full time again but she delayed it until she felt less tired. She closed her eyes and before she knew it, Umar was gently waking her up to pray. She looked around confused, she was in bed. 

"Weren't we just outside?" she asked Umar.

"We were but you fell asleep. And that was over an hour ago."

She tried to stifle a yawn. "I don't know why I'm always so tired."

"Maybe we should take you to the doctor," Umar suggested.

Maleeha shook her head. "I don't think I need to go to a doctor. Maybe I'm just overworked or something."

The weeks went by and Maleeha continued to feel tired. Her tiredness was so common that she began to feel it was normal and so, she didn't dwell too much upon it.

Yusra was merely a two year old when Maleeha experienced an intense dizzy spell. She gasped as the world began to spin in front of her. She grabbed the table and waited for the world to halt. When everything was finally back to normal, she shook her head in order to clear her thoughts. 

Maleeha glanced at Yusra who was obliviously laughing as she played with her toys. Maleeha sighed and got herself a glass of water. Realising that she had forgotten to eat since the morning, she made herself and her daughter a snack before starting her daily routine. 

The phone rang loudly, startling Maleeha. She had completely zoned out while Yusra had been napping. 

She grabbed the phone and glanced at the screen. It was Naeela, she wanted to visit her sister because she needed to talk. Shortly later, Naeela pulled up in the driveway.

After the usual pleasantries, Naeela sat nervously wringing her hands, unsure as to how she should bring up the topic she needed to discuss.

"What's wrong?" Maleeha asked as she picked up on her sister's nervousness.

"I...Um...Hmmm." Naeela replied, uncertainly.

"Are you okay?"

Naeela remained silent for a long while. "I think I'm in love!" she blurted out.

Maleeha breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought it was a serious problem."

Naeela sighed. "Well... it sort of is..." she trailed off.

"What do you mean?"

"He's a revert.

"So?"

"So you know how Mum's family will go on about it."

Maleeha laughed. "You do realise that our great grandfather was also a revert right?"

"I know, but I don't know how to tell Mum and Dad," Naeela said, clearly defeated.

"I can help you. I still don't see why it's such a big deal though."

"There's one more thing... He's coloured." Naeela confessed.

"So?" Maleeha asked again. "We're also mixed you know. So is Umar. It doesn't matter! What matters is that he is a Muslim."

"I know. I'm just scared of what Mum's family will have to say."

"Don't be. We all come from Adam (AS) in any case. Race and colour does not define us. Our religion does. We cannot continue living with this old school mentality."

"You're right. It's just that this is all so new to me and I don't know how to deal with it."

"We're going to talk to Mum and Dad this weekend. Don't worry, I'll help you."

Naeela breathed a sigh of relief. Seeing her sister so positive, eased her heart. She knew that her parent's would never have a problem with the man she married as long as he was a Muslim. But she was worried about societal expectations. And that's just the way Naeela was. She wanted to keep everyone happy, even if she had to sacrifice her own happiness.

That weekend, Umar took Maleeha and Yusra and went over to the Burke residence. When they sat their parent's down to talk to them, Naeela remained silent so Maleeha took the reins. She explained the issue to her parent's and watched as Naeela nervously awaited their response. As expected, Raeesa and Adam were ecstatic. 

Maleeha glanced at her sister and mouthed the words, "I told you so."

Naeela smiled in response and grabbed her sister in her hug. "You're burning up," Naeela told Maleeha as she felt her forehead. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I think I'm just getting a little flu though. Yusra wasn't doing too well last week so it’s probably in the air."

Later that day, Yusuf and Ammaara stopped by for a meal. The chatter rang throughout the house, bringing it to life. It was a lovely evening as everyone spent the much needed time together.

When Umar and Maleeha got home, Maleeha collapsed onto the bed after placing Yusra in her crib. She felt sick and weak.

"Are you okay?" Umar asked in concern.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

"Maybe you should see a doctor before you actually get sick."

"I'm fine. I'm sure I'll be okay. I just want to shower and sleep," Maleeha said groggily. 

"I'll fill a bath for you," Umar offered.

He ran a bath for Maleeha and helped her as she settled inside. When she was done, he carefully helped her into her clothes and massaged her feet. Maleeha was too tired to mutter a thank you so instead she kissed him and fell asleep.

The rest of the week went by in a similar manner. Maleeha refused to see a doctor as she insisted that she was fine but Umar was not too sure about it.

Late one night, Maleeha made her way downstairs to make herself a cup of tea while Umar was in the shower. She had just made her tea and was ready to go back upstairs with her tea when the image in front of her slowly started to blur. She set the tea on table and shook her head, trying hard to clear her mind. She could hear Umar coming down the stairs. She looked up and saw a fuzzy Umar in nothing but a towel around his waist. As her vision blurred even further, Maleeha felt as if she was slipping away from reality. Her balance became shaky and she heard Umar's worried voice calling out her name but he seemed far away. She felt herself slip to the ground as everything went black.


**************************************************

Part 15

Umar grabbed Maleeha before her head hit the ground. Worriedly, he called out her name trying to get her up. He began shaking whilst clumsily calling the ambulance. Maleeha was unconscious and she seemed to be getting paler by the second. 

Impatiently, he called Raeesa to look after Yusra. He tried not to go into too much detail as he did not want to worry Raeesa. Unfortunately, when she got to the house, the ambulance had pulled up and Raeesa was a wreck.

"I'll call you the moment she gets up." Umar promised.

By the time they had reached the hospital, Umar felt as if he was going crazy. He needed to know if his wife would be okay.

They took Maleeha in and Umar filled out all the necessary paperwork before waiting in the waiting area. He paced the length of the room, whispering soft prayers. Pulling out his cell phone, he quickly called his parent's and updated Raeesa. 

Just as he thought he would completely lose his mind, Yusuf and Ammaara walked in, worry etched on their tired faces.

"What happened?" Yusuf asked after greeting Umar.

"I don't know," Umar cried in frustration. "One second she was fine and the next second she was falling."

Yusuf hugged his stressed brother in law and Ammaara mustered a small smile. "She'll be okay," Ammaara said softly. 

Just then, the doctor walked out. Umar rushed towards him, asking him if Maleeha was okay.

The doctor smiled. "She's fine. It looks like she had a very bad fever but she'll be okay. We'll keep her for observation overnight but we still need to run a few more tests."

Umar breathed a sigh of relief. "Can I see her please?"

When the doctor affirmed that he could, he rushed towards Maleeha's room. He walked into the room and Maleeha opened her tired eyes. She smiled up at him. "Why do you look so worried? I'm fine. I promise," she said weakly.

With tears in his eyes, he said, "You really scared me, Maleeha. I thought it was something much more serious than a fever. Please don't do that to me again."

"I'll try not to." Maleeha said, trying to sound teasing.

"Did they do any tests?" Umar asked.

Maleeha tried to shrug and grimaced. "Ugh. This drip is uncomfortable. I think they took some blood but I don't know. I wasn't completely conscious."

Umar nodded. "They're keeping you overnight to make sure you'll be okay."

Maleeha's eyes widened. "What about Yusra?" she asked worriedly.

"She's okay. She's with your mum."

"Good." Maleeha sighed. "So tonight will be the first night that we'll be apart."

Umar shook his head. "No ways. I'm staying with you."

"No. You need to get some rest habibi. You won't be comfortable here."

"I once promised you that I would always look after you, so just let me."

Maleeha smiled. "You have been looking after me even before you married me."

Umar ended up spending the night in the uncomfortable chair that was perched next to Maleeha's bed. He could barely get any sleep as he was still extremely worried. He would only be at ease when Maleeha was safely tucked into their bed. It was barely dawn when the nurses walked in to perform a few blood tests.

Maleeha woke up groggily and turned her head towards Umar. He looked exhausted. "Go home habibi." she said.

"I'll leave when your mum gets here."

Maleeha and Umar ended up spending the rest of the morning talking. Maleeha looked much better. When the doctor walked in and checked Maleeha, he gave the couple good news. Maleeha would be discharged within the next hour. Umar called Raeesa to let her know that they would be back soon.

The doctor snapped shut the file and turned to Maleeha. "Mrs Aziz, get some rest. We'll have the results of your blood tests soon. Probably within the next week or so."

Maleeha nodded happily. "I feel so much better!" she mused with a smile on her face.

The doctor couldn't help but laugh. "You're one of a very few patients who always has a smile on her face. May God always keep you smiling."

When Maleeha got home, she went straight into the shower. Her whole family was over and her mother had cooked a hearty meal. Maleeha felt ravenous as she ate.

Raeesa looked at her in amusement. "Are you that hungry?"

Maleeha nodded. "I'm starving." She turned to Naeela. "So when do we get to meet this guy?" she asked. "What's his name again?"

Naeela blushed. "With all the drama, I completely forgot to tell you. They're coming over this weekend. You'll be there right?"

Maleeha nodded. "Of course. What's his name?" she asked again.

"Asif."

Just then they heard Sakina's cry from the next room. Ammaara rushed over to see if she was okay. She got back with a wide eyed Sakina in her arms. Sakina was growing beautifully. When Yusra saw her cousin, she squealed in delight, causing everyone to laugh.

By the end of the day, Maleeha and Umar were completely exhausted. After Umar put Yusra to sleep, he settled into bed next to his wife. In minutes, they both fell into a deep sleep.

That weekend, Maleeha made her way to the Burke residence. Although she still felt tired, she was extremely excited for Naeela. She helped prepare for Asif's arrival and waited with the rest of her family. 

When Asif and his family entered the house, Maleeha whispered to her sister, "I thought you said he was a revert."

"He is," Naeela whispered back. "His whole family is."

Asif's mother was covered from head to toe. He and his father were both wearing bright white thobes. They looked as if they had been practicing islam from the day they were born. Asif's mother was a beautiful, elegant black woman and his father was a tall, white man. The contrast between them was breath-taking. 

Asif's family easily won over the hearts of the Burke's. They were the type of people that people were generally attracted to. 

After all, it is said that when Allah loves one, the entire world loves that person.

When they left, all eyes turned to Naeela. 

"What?" she asked defensively.

"You didn't tell us how amazing they were!" Maleeha exclaimed.

Naeela shrugged. "I didn't know that. Asif wouldn't exactly tell me that his family is amazing, you know?"

Adam pulled Naeela in for a hug. "Well, you have our blessing," he told her. "They are wonderful people. Give us the word and we'll start planning a wedding," he added laughingly.

Naeela burst out laughing. "There's no need to rush dad."

Towards the end of the following week, Maleeha was feeding Yusra when the phone rang. It was the doctor that had seen to her when she had been sick. Maleeha frowned when he said that he needed to speak to her. She quickly called Umar and dropped Yusra off at Ammaara's house. 

When Umar pulled up in the driveway he looked worried but he tried to conceal his feelings.

He squeezed her hand. "I'm sure everything will be fine. They probably just want to discuss your blood results with you."

Maleeha nodded, smiling. "Honestly, I am not worried at all."

Umar looked into her eyes and realised that she was speaking the truth. Maleeha seemed to be carefree, she was smiling and humming as if she hadn't gotten a call from the doctor. When Umar saw how relaxed his wife was, he too began to feel better.

When they arrived at the hospital, they spent some time in the waiting area before they were ushered into the doctor's office.

"Hi!" Maleeha greeted brightly.

The doctor smiled curtly. "Good to see that you're looking much better," he said as he gestured towards the seats.

Maleeha and Umar took a seat. "We received the blood results," The doctor said, his tone sombre.

Maleeha tried to ignore the look in the doctor's eyes. She told herself that he was probably having a bad day. Before he could carry on, Maleeha spoke up, "I hope it’s nothing too serious," she said in a joking tone. "I doubt a fever can kill you."

The doctor, nor Umar, laughed at her joke. Maleeha sank back in her seat and with each passing minute she began feeling scared.

Umar offered her his hand and she took it gratefully.

She took a deep breath and looked the doctor in the eye waiting for him to continue.

He began speaking, explaining things which Maleeha could not understand. He was saying something about blood cells and their functionality which meant nothing to Maleeha. It was what he said next that had her entire world come crashing down.


**************************************************

Part 16 

His words completely knocked the breath out of her. She heard Umar gasp and the doctor muttering something that she could not understand.

In a split second, he entire world had crashed around her, making her feel foreign in her own skin. She gasped for air, struggling to breathe. It felt as if her life was spiralling out of control. A single moment had encapsulated her entire reality, forcing her to face her darkest demons. 

She could not believe that this was happening to her. Somewhere in her mind, she remembered Umar telling her something about being tested in this world but her thoughts were a whirlwind of images and words that she could barely make any sense of.

How did this happen? A part of her wondered. Why? Another part of her questioned. She could barely see the doctor's face anymore. He was merely a blend of blurry colours, morphing into the background.

The room started to spin. She could barely see anything, her mind succumbed to the sordid darkness that had crept up upon her. Her heart beat ferociously in her chest, threatening to explode into a million little pieces, each piece grasping at hope, willing her mind to declare that this was not real. 

But it was real. And her entire being could not fathom the cruel turn that reality had taken. Her world came crumbling down, each piece slashing through her, destroying what she was made of. The hammering pieces continued to lash out at her as she tried to grasp at her life. 

She needed to make sense of what was happening but her mind had fallen too deep into the realms of blackness. She was enveloped by fear, dread and confusion. She argued within her layers of darkness, telling herself that she would awake from this terrifying nightmare. 

But the nightmare continued. It didn't cease. She was still sitting in the doctor's room, hoping that she could breathe again. 

She could hear the doctor's voice faintly in the background calling out her name. She tried to reach back into the present but her mind continued to toss her around in the darkness. 

She felt a hand trying to steady her as she crumpled to the ground. Her breathing became shallower as the doctor's fateful words repeated in her head. She wanted to succumb to the pit of nothingness. She felt herself allowing the blackness to completely swallow her.

As she sank deeper into her own mind, wallowing in the dangerous murkiness that threatened to absorb her, the haunting words replayed in her mind. It was as if a song had gotten stuck, refusing to move past the words that continued to play. Her mind repeated the words over and over again, slowly becoming fainter in the darkness that had gripped her. The ugly words reverberated through her, clutching the crevices of her mind. She wanted the darkness to drown the words out. She didn't want to hear it anymore. She couldn't accept that fate had taken this turn and crashed into an iceberg, freezing her world but not freezing time. She could feel herself just heaving along with the dreadful words, pounding throughout her.

Gasping for air, she tried to reach back into the present but she had fallen far too deep into her own mind. She could feel the very mind that she had nurtured give way, collapsing further and further into nothingness.

And as the dark gloom began to drown out the painful words which began to encrust her mind, she felt the pull of oblivion. The words rang faintly in her mind one more time before she completely blacked out.

"I'm sorry, we detected cancer."

Umar gripped his wife, his own mind spiralling out of control. She seemed to black out and the doctor was already at his side. He stepped away, confused. His mind could not wrap around everything that had just happened. He continued to stare at his unconscious wife, feeling completely and utterly helpless. It seemed as if he was in some kind of trance. He moved about slowly, his brain not quite comprehending anything. He was pushed aside as the nurses came in and loaded Maleeha onto a bed. As they began wheeling her out, he lunged towards the bed, anxious to be with his beloved. 

Again, he was pushed aside as if he was much lighter than he looked. The doctor took his arm and led him towards a seat. He said something about Maleeha but Umar could not hear him over the ringing in his ears. 

He sat there for a long time without moving. The doctor finally walked in and Umar looked up, straight into his eyes.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Mr Aziz, your wife had a panic attack. She's okay for now but she is still sedated."

Umar nodded. "Please explain her situation again."

The doctor pulled off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "Her body is producing abnormal white blood cells. White blood cells are usually responsible for fighting infection but her blood cells do not function the way normal white blood cells do. Your wife has something called acute myeloid leukaemia." He continued to explain the type of cancer to Umar but he wasn't listening.

"Can it be cured?" he interrupted.

"We'll have to do more tests to detect how far the cancer has spread. But she should start with chemotherapy as soon as possible."

"Will she be cured if she does chemo?"

"It depends. If it hasn't spread too fast, she has a good chance of survival."

Umar began feeling nauseous. The words 'a good chance of survival' rang through his mind. He grabbed the trash can that was by his foot and threw up. He straightened himself up and felt as if his insides were being tormented. "Can I see her?" he asked.

Umar walked into Maleeha's room and collapsed into tears. His chest heaved in denial as he took his wife's hand. He sat in that position for a very long time, oblivious to his surroundings or the incessant ringing of his phone. After a few hours, Maleeha's eyes fluttered open. Umar's head was down so he hadn't noticed. As Maleeha gained her bearings, her thoughts began to clear.

The doctor had diagnosed her with cancer. She closed her eyes for a second, whispering soft, half-hearted prayers. She noticed Umar's large frame shaking in tears. She pushed away all of her thoughts and called out his name. 

When his eyes met hers, he broke out into a fresh set of tears. Seeing him so completely helpless shook Maleeha to her core. She mustered a smile through her silent tears. "It's Allah's will." She simply said. But Maleeha's mind had taken a dark journey of its own. Although her words rang true, she said it robotically, trying to force herself to accept it.

Umar stared at his wife incredulously before planting a kiss on her forehead and wiping away his tears. "You're right," he said, his voice breaking.

"And we accept Allah's will," she said. Again, her words sounded rehearsed to her. The magnitude of her fate still seemed foreign to her.

Umar nodded robotically. His phone began to ring again and he ignored it until Maleeha urged him to pick up. He could barely greet the person on the other end without breaking down.

Maleeha held out her hand and Umar handed her the phone. It was her mother. She told Raeesa to bring the family to the hospital in an hour. Her mother insisted to know what was wrong with her but Maleeha softly told her that she was okay.

An hour later, Maleeha's entire family pitched up. She had not been placed in the oncology ward yet as she had had a panic attack when she was admitted. Raeesa and Adam took one look at Umar's face and knew that something was dreadfully wrong. 

When Yusra saw her mother, she cried to be in her arms. Maleeha held Yusra, her heart feeling slightly at ease. She nuzzled her daughter's neck, trying hard to ignore all the concerned stares.

Raeesa and Naeela were losing their patience. Their foreheads were creased with worry. Just then, Ammaara and Yusuf walked in. Ammaara smothered her friend with a big bear hug before asking her a million questions which were all left unanswered.

"What's going on?" Raeesa finally asked in exasperation.

Maleeha gave a fake, watery smile and handed Yusra to Umar. "I... I have been diagnosed with cancer." She was met with a collective gasp and she averted her eyes before the tears which brimmed in her eyes threatened to spill over. Already, she could feel herself succumbing into a pit of depression, isolated from the very ones that loved her.

She met Yusra's eyes and held her gaze. She could hear her family's complete silence. Umar too, kept his gaze averted. He needed to be strong for his wife and today he felt that he had been at his weakest point. 

After what felt like forever, Naeela spoke up. "Did you say you have cancer?" she asked in the most heart-breaking voice anyone had ever heard. And with that, she burst into tears, along with everyone else.


**************************************************

Part 17

Maleeha had insisted on going home before making a decision relating to chemotherapy. Although the doctor strongly advised against it, Maleeha wanted to spend time at home. She knew that she needed to have a conversation with her Lord. She needed Him to guide her and assist her in these dark times. But she didn't take the first step towards her Lord immediately. She allowed to be consumed by her own sordid thoughts, inching away from the faith that would have held her together.

For the next few days, Maleeha drowned deeper and deeper into her own darkness. She became snappy and irritated, all the while allowing her mind to succumb to the pit of misery. She could not accept that she had cancer. She didn't want to accept the turn her life had taken. 

She felt constantly angry. She would yell at Yusra and snap at Umar and the rest of her family. They had not taken the news well and had been teary ever since. But Maleeha ignored them all. She refused to speak to Umar for more than five minutes in a sitting.

The smile she had always worn had permanently disappeared from her face and was replaced by an angry scowl. 

Maleeha continued to allow her dark mind to control her. She didn't allow light to infiltrate her mind. Her prayers became shorter, almost abrupt. Her sincerity seemed to be lost along with her care. She would dwell in her own silence for most of the day, moping around the house. 

It was as if her heart had been replaced by a solid brick of cold ice. When Umar tried to hug her and console her, she would angrily push him away. He begged and pleaded with her to let him in but she insisted on blocking him out and building a concrete wall around her.

Even Yusra picked up on the tension in the Aziz household. She constantly cried miserably and Maleeha would try to block the wails out of her mind. 

Maleeha was not making life easy for anyone, including herself. She became hard to live with and hard to be around. It had only been a week since she had found out that she had cancer but Umar felt as if it had been a lifetime. 

The days started to feel unbearable. Umar returned to work in a hope to escape the sordid atmosphere at home. And before he realised what was happening, he too became quiet and withdrawn as he shut off the world. 

Maleeha's suffering had not only taken a toll on herself, but also on Umar and Yusra. 

Ammaara decided that she would visit Maleeha even though Maleeha had made it blatantly clear that she wanted to be alone. She rang the bell and was ignored, but she refused to give up. She stood at Maleeha's door, ringing the bell over and over again, refusing to cease her insistence. 

Irritated, Maleeha threw open the door.

"What?" she sneered.

"Assalaamualikum Maleeha." Ammaara greeted. She walked passed her holding a casserole in her hand.

Maleeha grunted in reply, still at the door. She pointedly looked at Ammaara and then at the door but her best friend blankly ignored her. Instead, Ammaara settled onto the plush couch and pretended as if nothing was wrong. When she heard Yusra cry, she got up to get her and returned with a slightly happier looking Yusra.

"Maleeha, what are you doing? Can't you see what you have done to Umar? And to Yusra? Your attitude is taking a toll on them." Maleeha remained silent and stared at a spot on the wall above Ammaara's head. "You can't go on like this. There are people that need you. You have always been strong and accepting. Your faith has always been amazing. Do you not remember when we were in hajj and how madly you had fallen in love with your deen?"

Maleeha got up, turned on her heel, and stalked off. Ammaara heard the door bang and she sighed. Her friend needed an intervention. Ammaara called Umar and told him that she wanted to take Yusra for a few days. Umar told her that Yusra was the only one keeping him sane. He needed her close to him. Instead, Ammaara suggested that she would look after Yusra for the rest of the afternoon.

Maleeha sat on the floor and once again allowed her twisted mind to torture her. She could feel the tormenting whispers of melancholy breathe right through her mind, hugging every single chasm of her deeply warped thoughts. 

She smiled cynically and caught her reflection in the mirror. She didn't recognise herself. Her face had sunken in and there were dark circles circling her eyes. Her skin was dull and her lips were cracked. Her hair sat in a greasy mess on top of her head, matted against her skull. 

And suddenly she was overcome by hatred, a feeling that she had never experienced before. She grabbed her hairbrush and tossed it at her reflection, cursing under her breath. The mirror cracked and the pieces fell lifelessly to the floor.

The next day, Maleeha got up just as Umar was leaving. He had hired a nanny to take care of Yusra while Maleeha sunk in her depression.

When Maleeha walked into the study, she found Yusra perched on a chair with a bottle hanging from her mouth and a book opened in front of her. In her hand, she held a highlighter and just as she pressed the highlighter to the book, Maleeha angrily picked her up and put her on the floor. Yusra screamed in annoyance and Maleeha ignored her. She straightened up and her eyes fell onto the book that Yusra was about to scribble in. It was the Quraan. 

And on the following verse Yusra had made a mark, “Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested?”

The moment Maleeha read thy verse, something within her mind cleared. She could feel the darkness slowly began to dissipate as she fell to the floor in tears of blood. She picked Yusra up and hugged her tightly. The little girl clutched onto her mother as if she had returned from a long journey.

"I'm so sorry my baby." Maleeha whispered. "I'm so sorry." She wept from her heart, tears of pain and disgust pouring down her face.

Her heart ached as the magnitude of her actions dawned upon her. She had to apologise to her entire family. But most importantly, she needed to apologise to Umar. 

**************************************************

Part 18

When Umar walked into the house that evening, he noticed that something was different but he couldn't quite place his finger on it. 

He treaded carefully into the house, glancing around. He could hear the shower on and so he went in search for Yusra. The nanny had left and his daughter was sound asleep.

He prayed and settled into bed. A few minutes later, Maleeha joined him. She took his hand into hers and kissed it. "Habibi?" she said softly, hoping that he would turn to face her. Umar did a double take, wandering what had ignited the change in his wife. He looked down and cleared his throat, afraid to meet her gaze. Maleeha took his face into her hands and lifted it so that he could meet her eyes. When he finally did, she smiled. "It's going to be okay." she said. When he remained silent, she got up to get a Quraan. She paged through it for a long while before finding what she was looking for. Softly she recited a verse in Arabic and then followed it with the English, “Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested?” Umar's breath caught in his throat and Maleeha continued. "Our lives have been so perfect thus far. Wouldn't you agree? We had everything we have ever wanted. We had no hardships, only ease. Life has been absolutely perfect for the both of us. I mean, if I look back there is not a single incident in my life that has torn me apart and been of any hardship. In fact, every single aspect of my life has been so easy. I have experienced happiness my entire life. Most people would yearn for an iota of the happiness that you and I have been blessed with." She paused for a second and took a deep breath. "I allowed myself to get lost in my own mind. I was overcome with such grief that it controlled every part of me. I don't know how I can ever make it up to you - apologise to you. You were patient and you didn't stop trying even when it seemed that I had ripped out your heart. You stood by me in my darkest moment and I disregarded you." Maleeha was crying in despair. "Habibi, I am so sorry... Your words came back to me. Remember once you told me that if we're ever tested we will be able to get through it? It is Allah's will habibi! We cannot question His will. And I have been such a terrible servant of Allah. I lashed out and questioned His will. In my moment of weakness, I allowed Shaytaan into my life." The tears fell freely from Maleeha's eyes as she waited for a response from Umar. She would understand if he did not allow her back into his heart after the way she had treated him.

With tears in his eyes, Umar's gaze met Maleeha's. "You don't need to apologise my love... I just want you to be okay. And I'll always be here for you, I promise you that. You can always count on me. I love you more than life itself and seeing you drown in your own sorrows without allowing me to rescue you, broke me. Habibti, you have always been my strength, my pillar. When I saw my pillar crumbling, I began to feel weak. I tried and I am so so sorry that I didn't try harder. I should have tried harder, I should have made more of an effort." His voice cracked.

Maleeha shook her head. "You did try! And I don't think you could have tried any harder. I had just built a wall around me, refusing to allow you near me. You tried breaking the wall and I didn't let you. I am so very sorry..."

"Don't apologise Maleeha. You have nothing to apologise for."

Maleeha kissed his forehead. "And now I need you to be both of our pillars of strength. For me and for Yusra. I need you to speak to me the way you used to. I need you to be the way you used to be with me. I need the normality in my life again. If you're going to continue to tiptoe around me as if I'm going to break any second, I just might. You can be our strength. You always have been my strength, just the way you say that I have been your strength. Right now, I need you to help me get through this test. Can you do that for me?"

Umar took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders. "Of course habibti. Anything for you," he said in his normal tone, ridding his voice of the sympathy and tears. "Please don't shut me out like that ever again," he said, his voice becoming soft.

Maleeha swallowed the lump in her throat. "I promise you that I will never put you through the hell that I put you through for the last two weeks." Her tears of guilt escaped the pools she had withheld.

Umar held her in his arms, soothing her. "It's okay... Please don't cry. I can't bear to see you cry. If I could, I'd move the earth to replace your tears of grief with tears of happiness.

Maleeha hiccupped and nodded. "I know you would. She took a deep, shaky breath in order to calm herself down. When her breathing was no longer jagged, she looked up at her husband.

"I love you habibti," Umar told his wife, smiling at her.

This time, Maleeha's smile reached her eyes. Her simple smile inevitably warmed Umar's heart. "I love you too habibi." Her soft declaration of love made Umar squeeze her gently. It was one of the things he had missed most when Maleeha was shadowed by anguish.

That night, Maleeha sat on her prayer mat for hours. She had broken down in front of everyone else and right now she needed to break down in front of her Lord. With raised hands, she begged Allah to help her accept her fate, praying for some kind of sign to ease her troubled heart. She asked Allah to assist her in her decisions regarding chemotherapy and to help her family accept her fate. She needed her family during this time but she needed them to be strong too. She begged Allah for her daughter's wellbeing and her husband's wellbeing, praying that if anything had to happen to her, that they would be able to move on and find happiness. Her heart felt as if it was shattering into a million pieces and each of those shattered pieces slashed into her soul. But she knew that with sincere prayer, she could feel whole again. 

After all, it is human nature to experience despair during trying times. And it is the human mind that can drown one into the deepest depths of tormented affliction. But it is up to an individual to pull oneself out of the sorrowful depths and turn to Allah; the only One who can mend even the most shattered hearts and darkened souls.

She cried her heart out that night, begging and pleading with Allah. She needed to pass this test and she needed to accept her fate. 

Maleeha ended up falling off to sleep on her prayer mat and didn't even flinch when Umar moved her to the bed. For the first time since she had been told that she had cancer, she slept peacefully. A strange smile flashed across Maleeha's face and Umar wondered what she was dreaming about.

Maleeha found herself in Madina, with the indescribable feeling of peace in her heart. The old lady that had once given her advice at the old age home, appeared out of nowhere. She told Maleeha that she would be able to get through anything that was thrown her way, as Allah does not burden a soul more than it can bear. She reminded Maleeha that her path had been chosen long before her physical existence on this earth and that Allah himself orchestrated her life. She told Maleeha that when her soul was in the realm of souls, her entire life had already been prewritten. She reminded Maleeha that she can plan but Allah also plans, and He is the best of planners.

Maleeha smiled at the old lady and placed her right hand over her peaceful heart. She closed her eyes and when she opened it, the woman was gone. Instead, she was standing in the haram and the Maghrib adhaan had begun. Maleeha took a deep breath and it felt as if the air that she had breathed in had reached every crevice within her soul with a beautiful sense of peace and calm. 

When Maleeha woke up, she could hear the fajr adhaan. Umar was already seated on his prayer mat, his hands raised to the heavens and tears streaming down his face. Maleeha quietly got up and completed her ablution before setting her prayer mat slightly behind her husband's. He concluded his prayer by passing his hands over his face and turned to face his wife with a beautiful smile.

She gave him a pure smile without any hidden emotions. Her dream had given her hope and calmed her more than she thought was possible.

After the couple prayed, Maleeha sat quietly, contemplating the mercy of Allah. Even in her darkest times He had shown her some light. Maleeha reminded herself that if she had not turned to Allah, she would have continued to drown in her own darkness.

**************************************************

Part 19

Maleeha spent the next few days trying to mend her relationships with the family members that she had hurt. She started off with her parent's, her sister and finally Yusuf and Ammaara. 

Although her family had tried to initially hide their annoyance when Maleeha had lashed out and failed, they could not remain upset with her for too long. The sincerity in her eyes was a true reflection of how incredibly sorry she was. Her family was supportive and apologetic, each member blaming themselves for not being there for Maleeha when times were tough.

But Maleeha knew that she had been intolerable. Piece by piece, she put herself back together so that she could move on. Putting her full trust in her Lord, she wholeheartedly accepted her fate.

Umar watched his beautiful wife try harder. The guilt of her actions continued to haunt her and no matter what Umar told her, she felt the need to rectify all of her wrongdoings.

But Umar's heart was breaking, a little at a time. Maleeha was the love of his life. He had never loved anyone the way he loved her. She made him feel fireworks by her mere touch. Their hearts beat as one. They were two individuals whose souls were locked in an eternal embrace. She was his calm in the vortex of life. She completed him, made him whole. Her very existence made Umar strive towards becoming the best that he could be. And it is this type of love that is yearned for, searched for. The type of love that keeps one in an undying embrace, caressing the hearts that it has connected. Maleeha was everything to Umar, she was his life and she now had an incurable disease. Umar felt the dire need to accept his wife's fate but he struggled with the outcome that reality had flung his way. 

And so, Umar began spending more time on his prayer mat, begging the Lord of all the worlds to comfort him. Inevitably so, his prayers were answered and the tormenting pain in his heart began to subside. 

It was an uphill battle for both of them to finally accept Maleeha's fate. When Maleeha finally began to think rationally, she decided to actively make decisions.

Just as Umar rose from his prayer mat, Maleeha approached him. "So, I've been thinking of going for a second opinion..."

"That's a great idea. Why didn't I think of that?" Umar asked, scratching his head.

"Well to be fair, we both weren't exactly thinking rationally. I vaguely remember my parents telling me to go for a second opinion but at that point, I wasn't interested in anything apart from my broken heart," Maleeha answered, sounding somewhat forlorn about the decisions that she had made in her moment of weakness.  

"I'll make the appointment. Unless you have a preferred specialist in mind?" Umar suggested.

"Actually, I wanted to ask my dad for his opinion. He might know someone who is reputable."

Umar nodded. "Sure, let's go to him now. He should be at home."

Maleeha, Umar and Yusra made their way to her parent's house. They were greeted warmly and everyone was glad that Maleeha had returned to her old self. However, the underlying feeling of sadness was prevalent even though everyone tried hard to ignore it. 

But when Maleeha mentioned a second opinion, her family started to feel more hopeful. 

"I just want to make sure that it is what they say it is," Maleeha stated as she handed a squirming Yusra to Raeesa.

"For all we know, they could have misread the diagnosis!" Naeela exclaimed, optimism present in her voice.

Maleeha looked at her sister sadly. "Even if they read it correctly, it's not the end of the world. This is my taqdeer right? It was meant to happen even before I was born. I just want to be certain about my diagnosis so that I can decide what to do next."

Raeesa was wiping her tears and sniffed loudly. "You're right Maleeha. If it is ca-ca-" Raeesa paused, enable to say the word. She cleared her throat and tried again, shifting Yusra from one leg to another. "If it is what they say it is, you should start with treatment immediately."

Maleeha nervously licked her lips. She had actually been hoping to avoid treatment as she hadn't liked what she had read about the side effects. She glanced at Umar who had nodded in agreement with Raeesa. "Ummm actually... I don't know if I want to do chemotherapy," Her family erupted in astonishment, questioning her decisions. It was the look on Umar's face that made Maleeha rethink her decision in a split second. He had remained silent but the pain in his eyes had Maleeha's heart breaking into a million little shrapnel's. "I didn't say I'm completely against chemo... I was just weighing all my options. But before I make any decision, I want your opinions. After all, it is Sunnah to seek consultation before making a decision." Maleeha turned to her father before anyone could respond. "Dad, do you have any suggestions on who I should go to for a second opinion?"

Adam nodded. "I did try telling you initially honey, but you wouldn't hear of it."

Maleeha nodded guiltily and looked down. "I know, I'm so sorry," she said softly.

"Don't keep reminding her about that. It was a moment of weakness," Raeesa scolded gently.

"Sorry dear," Adam said, guilt crossing his face too. "I'll make a few calls and get you an appointment. The doctor I have in mind is a renowned oncologist."

Maleeha thanked her father and spent a little more time with her family before leaving. As they made their way home, Maleeha said, "It feels like everyone is treading in dangerous waters around me. I just want them to be normal!"

Umar glanced at his frustrated wife. "I know habibti. Remember that they are just really worried. Let's see what happens and take things one step at a time."

Maleeha nodded as Yusra called for her attention. "Mummy, I'm hungry," she stated. Maleeha turned to face her daughter and smiled. Yusra blew a sloppy kiss in her mother's direction. 

"I can't believe that she can speak already," Maleeha stated.

Umar laughed. "Did you hear what she said the other day?" Maleeha shook her head so Umar continued. "She said that she was working so I needed to stop disturbing her."

Maleeha giggled and Umar rejoiced at the sound of her laughter. They were interrupted by Yusra who had spotted a dog walking along the street. "See! Doggy!" she exclaimed before clapping her hands proudly.

The next day, Adam called Raeesa to tell her that he had managed to get her an appointment with the oncologist the following day. 

Maleeha decided to cook a delicious meal for her family before getting ready for the day. She wanted to take Yusra to the park later in the afternoon. Once she was done, she got ready and laid out her prayer mat. When Yusra saw her do this, she immediately stopped what she was doing and joined her mother. Maleeha grinned at her daughter's eagerness for salaah and silently whispered a prayer for Yusra, hoping that she would always be this eager to perform her salaah. Yusra copied her mother's actions, whispering loudly about nothing in particular. Maleeha felt her heart soar with love for the beautiful little girl who lit up her life. But as Maleeha's mind wandered, she felt the tears well up in her eyes. If she really did have cancer, how long would she be around for Yusra?

Seeing her mother's tears, Yusra worriedly climbed into her mother's lap. "Mummy why you crying?" she asked.

Maleeha smiled. "Sometimes mummy thinks too much and feels sad," Maleeha explained. "But then you smile at me and I feel happy."

Yusra nodded, happy with the answer.

The following day, Maleeha and Umar left Yusra with Ammaara before heading to the doctor. Maleeha nervously played with her ring, silently praying. 

They waited in the waiting room and Umar squeezed Maleeha's hands, assuring her. She smiled gratefully just as they were called in. She drew in a deep breath before she made her way into the doctor's office with Umar at her side.

After introducing himself and making polite small talk, he told her that her father had explained the situation to her. Thereafter, he told her that they would take a few blood samples for testing and perform a bone marrow biopsy. Maleeha nodded, a lump stuck in her throat. Her doctor was friendly and soft and he was somewhat calming.

"Do you have any questions?" he asked.

Maleeha nodded. "How long will it take?" she asked.

"About two hours to perform the blood tests and the bone marrow biopsy," the doctor replied.

"And when will I get my results?" 

"Well, we will have the blood results within a week and it'll take two to three weeks for the bone marrow results," he answered.

Maleeha nodded thoughtfully and looked at Umar. "Do you have any questions?"

Umar turned to the doctor. "How do you do the bone marrow biopsy?"

"A small needle is inserted into the ridge of the rear hipbone and the red marrow is extracted."

"Is it painful?" Maleeha asked.

"You will feel a light stinging and some discomfort but with the local anaesthetic and the pain medication, you should barely feel the discomfort."

Shortly after, Maleeha was taken into the doctor's office and prepped by the nurse. The blood test took a few minutes before they began prepping her for the bone marrow biopsy.

**************************************************

Part 20

After Maleeha's tests were done and the light bleeding from the bone marrow biopsy had subsided, she changed back into her clothing and waited for Umar. By the time they had reached their home, Maleeha felt mentally and physically drained. Umar insisted that she rest before he went to get Yusra. Too tired to argue, Maleeha obliged.

The next two weeks went by painfully slowly before Maleeha heard from the doctor again. She was anxious to find out what her results reflected. She just needed to know what the status of her health was with certainty. When she received a call from the doctor's office, she called Umar to tell him that the doctor had received her results.

Once again, they were off to the doctor's office. This time, they left Yusra with Raeesa, who also anxiously awaited the news on the results. Maleeha and Umar were ushered into the doctor's office after waiting for a good few minutes.

Maleeha took one look at the aged doctor's face and knew the outcome of her fate. She mustered up a smile and greeted the doctor. "How are you doing today?" she asked.

He answered her, trying hard to keep the solemn look off his face. "Good thank you and yourself Mrs Aziz, Mr Aziz?"

Maleeha began wringing her hands in her lap as she quickly answered him. "We're good, thank you." She resumed to silence as she waited for the doctor to continue.

"We received the lab results from both tests..." he trailed off and made eye contact with Maleeha. "I'm sorry Mrs Aziz, it is confirmed that you have acute myeloid leukaemia."

Umar sighed heavily and rested his head in his hands. Maleeha cleared her throat and looked into the doctor's subdued face. Instead of an expected reaction, Maleeha burst into a smile and said brightly, "Well now that that's settled, I should think about treatments right?"

The doctor did a double take and tried to quickly regain his composure. Umar raised his head and stared at Maleeha with a confused expression on his face. He thought that Maleeha would sink into depression again. He had seen the hope in her eyes. He too, had held intense hope within his heart and right now, he was crushed. But his wife surprised him. A soft smile was on her face.

The doctor cleared his throat. "Are you okay Mrs Aziz?" he asked carefully.

"I'm fine," she replied. "Great, in fact."

He looked at her, clearly confused. "If you say so," he said uncertainly.

Maleeha laughed. "Look, I have accepted my fate. If this is what God has planned for me, then I have to trust Him. I will not allow depression to swallow me up again. I have one life and I will make it count." She grabbed Umar's hand. "It'll be okay habibi," she whispered. "We can get through anything with Allah's help and mercy."

Umar nodded and took a deep breath. He could not shatter again, he needed to be strong. "Will you go through with the treatments?" he asked Maleeha hopefully. 

When she nodded and turned towards the doctor to ask him about the treatment, Umar felt a little better. He had been so worried that his wife would refuse to undergo any treatment.

"With aggressive chemotherapy, there is a chance that your cancer can be cured," he stated.

Maleeha nodded. "When do I need to start?" she asked.

"The sooner, the better. In fact, I would suggest starting today. It develops rapidly."

Maleeha shook her head. "We can start next week. I need to take care of a few things before I'm chained to the hospital bed," she joked.

The doctor urged Maleeha to begin her treatment earlier but she was adamant on her decision.

Maleeha left the hospital that day, dreading to tell her loved ones the news. She got to the Burke residence and was met by her entire family. Umar squeezed Maleeha's hand, trying to reassure her. The look of hope which reflected in the eyes of her family members had Maleeha averting her gaze. She could not make eye contact with anyone. 

They settled into the living room before Ammaara blurted, "So what did they say?"

Maleeha sighed. "Nothing has changed," she said softly. "I'll start with the treatment next week." She was met with a stony silence. Maleeha finally found the strength to look up. Her family looked broken hearted. Tears ran down their faces in silence. Maleeha could feel herself tearing up before her tears unleashed and began cascading into the depressive pools of the pain-filled waterfall. But Maleeha had accepted her faith and she would show her family that she was strong. Throughout her life she had had everything she had ever wanted and she still did. Only now, her health was compromised. She wiped away her tears and took a deep breath. She had memorized certain quraanic verses for her own benefit, her own sanity. She recited the verse in Arabic before reciting the English "And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits…" The single verse that was recited settled into the hearts of her family members. Slowly, the tears began to fade. Maleeha advised her family to accept her destiny as she had accepted it. She smiled brightly, no trace of fear or sadness in her eyes. "This is just a test and I will get through it. It is with Allah's mercy and wisdom that I have been diagnosed with cancer. And that's okay. It's not the end of the world."

Raeesa finally approached her daughter and hugged her tightly. "I am so proud of you," she whispered as a fresh batch of tears made their way out of her heart and oozed down her face. 

Maleeha hugged her mother back. "It's just a test. For all of us. The length of my life has already been decided and there's nothing that can change that, right?"

Umar gazed at his wife in amazement. He had no idea where her strength had come from. She was handling the situation with articulate grace and poise.

Maleeha too could not believe that she could endure so much of patience. She felt at peace and she could not stop whispering 'Alhumdullillah'. Allah continued to shower His mercy upon her, drenching her in comforting peace and acceptance.

Yusra staggered towards her mother, a juice bottle hanging from her mouth. Maleeha picked her up and nuzzled her neck. 

Naeela took the spot next to her sister and squeezed her shoulders. "I don't know how any of this works but if you need bone marrow from me, I'll be more than willing to help." She choked back tears just as Yusuf took the other seat next to Maleeha.

"Same here Maleeha." His voice cracked with emotion.

Maleeha smiled at her siblings. "JazakAllah," she said as Yusra squirmed off her lap and went to Adam. "But I wouldn't want to go down that route. The complications scare me." She threw her arms over each sibling and pulled them closer. "I love you so much." She looked at the rest of her family. "All of you," she added.

Maleeha, Yusra and Umar made their way home that night. Maleeha was full of emotion. The support she received from her family made her ever grateful to her Lord.

As they settled into bed that night, Umar turned to Maleeha. "You are astonishing," he whispered. He could feel his heart overflowing with love. Maleeha was truly one of a kind.

But Maleeha felt that she was only this strong because of her Lord's mercy and because of the people she had been blessed with in her life. And the one person that truly made Maleeha feel stronger than she was, was Umar. 

Their hearts beat as one as they drifted off into a deep sleep, clutching onto each other for dear life. They were so perfectly in sync, so perfectly in love. It was as if she had been created straight out of his rib. He was a part of her as she was a part of him. They completed each other, the way the last puzzle piece completes a puzzle. And without each other, they felt incomplete. Just like a puzzle can never be complete without a missing piece. No other puzzle piece but the missing piece can complete the puzzle, it's a perfect fit. After all, each puzzle piece is created solely for that particular puzzle. 

Maleeha spent the rest of her week spending time with her family. Naeela's wedding plans had been on hold since the beginning of Maleeha's ordeal but Maleeha urged her to continue, offering her help when possible. 

Although Maleeha had accepted the course her life had taken, she was incredibly worried about Umar and Yusra. She knew that Umar was trying his best to put on a strong front but she could see that it was starting to take a toll on him.

Maleeha sat on her prayer mat and contemplated her life. She was only twenty-four years old and she had been diagnosed with a life threatening disease. She had a two-year-old child and a husband who had been so supportive. She wondered what other surprises life had in store for her. She wondered what would happen to her husband and her child if Allah decided to take her away. Instead of dwelling on the hypothetic situation of what could be, she decided to put her full trust in Allah. After all, "Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…"

**************************************************

Part 21

Maleeha spent the next few months in and out of hospital for her chemotherapy. After each session, she felt completely drained. She started experiencing hair loss, although not excessive.

Her body began taking a toll and Maleeha started losing weight. She barely ate and when she did, she almost always threw up. This led to longer hours in the hospital as she was injected with nutrients and vitamins so that she would not completely perish.

Ammaara would spend a lot of the time at Maleeha's side as she was a part time practising nurse.

Umar spent every waking moment with Maleeha, too afraid to leave her side, even for a second. He had to take weeks of leave just so that he could be with Maleeha in case she needed him. 

Although Yusra could not understand what was happening, she seemed to sense that her mother was not too well. She was extra affectionate and gentle with Maleeha. 

Maleeha became a favourite patient for the rest of the patients in the cancer ward. Her smiles were infectious and her attempts at jokes were amusing. She easily won over the hearts of the patients around her. As she spent more time with them, she realised that some of them had it harder than she did. She often prayed for them and thanked Allah for the small test that she had to endure. She learned that there were people who were worse off than her and her heart bled for them. 

Maleeha remembered that her anniversary was coming up and this year she knew exactly what she wanted to do. She knew that she would probably not be complete with her chemotherapy and that was fine. 

As they got home from yet another aggressive chemo session, Maleeha settled into bed and cuddled with Yusra as she waited for Umar to finish showering. When he finally got out, Maleeha was dozing off and Yusra was snoozing softly. When Maleeha heard her husband step out of the shower, she got up gingerly. 

"Why don't you get some rest?" he asked.

"I just wanted to talk to you first," she replied sweetly before stifling a yawn.

"Sure. What do you want for dinner?" he asked. Umar had been preparing all the meals since Maleeha was constantly tired.

"Anything. Anyway, our anniversary is coming up." She weakly tried to wiggle her eyebrows in a playful manner but failed miserably.

Umar laughed at his wife's facial expressions. "Let us not try to tire ourselves out more than necessary okay?" he said as he wiggled his eyebrows back at her. "And I know our anniversary is coming up habibti. It's my favourite day of the year."

Maleeha laughed softly. "Well you know what we have to do right?" she asked.

Umar's forehead creased. "But you're not feeling so great this year," he said softly.

Maleeha agreed. "I know but I have an idea. We can make the patients in the cancer ward happy."

Umar's face broke into a smile. "No wonder I keep falling in love with you. That's a great idea!"

Maleeha beamed. "I'm thinking of having a low key party. Maybe balloons and décor and lots of delicious treats. Unless you have a better idea?  Oh! And we can get the family to interact with the patients. A lot of them just want company. And maybe we can get each of them a little gift?"

"That sounds perfect," Umar replied. 

Immediately, Maleeha grabbed her phone and gave Ammaara a call. Thereafter, she called Naeela and told her about their plans. They both were stoked with the idea. Ammaara had rambled off ideas and had begun to mentally plan what she could do.

Maleeha's chemo was nearing its end and her anniversary was approaching. The plans to spend the day in the cancer ward had been underway with everyone excited to take part. Ammaara had cleared it with the doctors so that everything could run smoothly. 

Maleeha was wheeled into the cancer ward after her chemo session. She greeted the familiar faces of the patients just as Umar walked in. 

"Ready?" he asked her softly.

Maleeha nodded. Umar walked out and came back in with Ammaara, Naeela and Tasneem. They greeted the confused patients before silently decorating the room. Already, the patients began to look happier as they anticipated the occasion.

In half an hour, the three ladies had completely transformed the place. Maleeha smiled happily as she watched the patients grow more and more excited. A few minutes later, Maleeha's parents and Yusra, Umar's parents, and Yusuf holding Sakina walked into the room with trays of finger foods and other treats. Maleeha's heart soared as she watched the patients eyes light up.

Umar cleared his throat and clapped his hands to gain attention. After greeting everyone he said, "So today we have decided to spoil all of you with small treats and good company." He winked at the patients and was met with laughter. "But before we commence, I just want you all to know that my beautiful wife insisted on doing this." He turned towards Maleeha who shook her head.

"Don't give me credit. Everyone had a hand in this." She was met with an applause. Maleeha shook her head and smiled as her family began socializing with each patient. The afternoon went by beautifully, with each patient smiling ear to ear. But nobody could be as happy as Maleeha. She was ecstatic to see the other patients happy, it warmed her heart. The family began clearing up and handing out little gifts to each patient. Just as they had cleared out of the room, the doctor walked in. He wanted to speak to Maleeha. 

Umar glanced worriedly at his wife with questioning eyes but she simply shrugged. He helped his wife into a wheelchair and wheeled her to the doctor's office. Maleeha could not read the expression on his face and began to worry that he was upset with what they had done today.

"Doctor, if this is about what we had done in the cancer ward, I am so sorry! I thought my friend had-"

The doctor held up his hand and smiled. "That was a lovely idea. Thank you for bringing light and smiles to this hospital Mrs Aziz."

Maleeha grinned wide. "Thank goodness! I thought you were upset for a second."

"Mrs Aziz, the reason that I wanted to speak to you is because..." He cleared his throat and removed his glasses. He told Maleeha that her leukaemia had not responded to the chemotherapy, leaving her utterly confused.

"What does that mean?" she questioned.

"The chemotherapy has not destroyed most of the cancer cells even though we've been through the induction and consolidation stages."

"What does that mean?" Maleeha asked again.

"There are still cancer cells present in your body. We can perform another cycle of intense chemotherapy but because of your small frame, I wouldn't suggest it."

Umar looked as if he had the breath knocked right out of him. Maleeha took one look at him and felt as if an earthquake had erupted within her, shaking her to her very core and shattering every whole part within her. She looked away and tried to steady her breathing. When Umar noticed that his wife's breathing had become jagged, he quickly pulled himself together.

"What other options are there?" Umar asked in a shaky voice.

"We can do a stem cell transplant which is also known as a bone marrow transplant but we would need a donor. Mrs Aziz, do you perhaps have a sibling who would be willing to-"

"No. No. No. No. I cannot ask them for a stem cell donation after everything they have done for me. That's asking for too much!" Maleeha stated adamantly.

"We can place you on the donor list but... but you cannot be guaranteed a donor in time."

A strangled gurgle escaped Umar's mouth and he had to excuse himself from the room. Maleeha sat perfectly still, a faraway look in her eyes.

"Mrs Aziz?" The doctor asked gently. "I would suggest consulting your siblings before saying no. You would probably get the closest match if the donor is a relative."

Maleeha slowly began to shake her head but stopped short when Umar walked into the room. Her eyes went straight to his bloodied fist which he had wrapped up in a white cloth and which he so desperately tried to hide from Maleeha. She knew that Umar wanted her to ask her siblings for help and she also knew that Naeela and Yusuf would jump at the opportunity as they would be saving their sister. But Maleeha did not want to burden her loved ones because of her disease. 

She left the doctor's office, promising that she would reconsider her decision although she had no intention of doing so. When they got home, she went straight into bed and snuggled with her daughter. She did not want to think about the defeating events that had transpired.

The next day Maleeha received a call from a frantic Naeela. Before her sister could even say anything, Maleeha turned an icy gaze towards Umar. "How could you not want us to help you out?" Naeela asked frantically between tears. "Both Yusuf and I WANT TO HELP YOU! Why do you have to be so stubborn?" She dissolved into tears.

"I'll think about it." Maleeha tried to say gently, without leaving Umar's gaze. She hung up, her eyes narrowing into tiny slits. "How. Dare. You." she said to Umar.

"Habibti..." His voice shook with emotion, he felt helpless.

"DON'T!!!" Maleeha roared, anger seeping through her veins. In all her life, she had never been this angry. Anger was not one of her traits and although it had been Umar's, it no longer was. "How dare you?" she screamed again. "This was not your decision to make! It was MY decision! What gives you the right to make up my mind for me?" She turned on her heel and stalked off, leaving a broken Umar behind.

For a man who had always been so strong, Umar was now completely shattered. In this state, he was not even a shell of the man he once was. He just wanted to be there for his wife, to make her feel whole again. Tears ran down his face, forming a deep, emotional pool of sordid suffering. His insides felt as if they were shrivelling up to avoid the painful storm that took rage within him. He crumpled to the ground, completely helpless and lost.

When Maleeha finally calmed down, she fell to the ground in desperate supplication to her Lord. Guilt enveloped her as she gasped for breath. Her shoulders heaved in painful cries and she poured her heart out to her Lord. When she finally got up and dried her tears she went to check on Yusra who was sound asleep. She went back into her room and found Umar in prostration, strangled cries escaping his lips. She watched him in silence, her own heart feeling strangled as tears poured down her face. When he got up, she was at his side, apologies cascading out of her. Umar took her into his lap, his own tears mixing with hers. They held onto one another for dear life, each one whispering their own apology. But words were not needed, for their hearts were entwined in such a manner that they could understand each other in sheer silence.

When they finally pulled apart and dried their tears, Maleeha looked at Umar with regret in her eyes. "I'm so sorry," she apologized again. "I snapped... and you did not deserve that. You don't deserve my anger. You and Yusra have been the best thing that has ever happened to me and no matter what I put you through, you still love me unconditionally."

Umar cupped her face in his hands. "I shouldn't have gone behind your back and asked Naeela and Yusuf for their help. I'm so sorry."

Maleeha shook her head. "You only did that because of your love for me."

"Habibti, I am here for you. I will always be here for you. We're in this together. Your pain is my pain remember?"

**************************************************

Part 22

Naeela, Yusuf and Ammaara pitched up at the Aziz house with Raeesa and Adam. They needed to talk some sense into Maleeha because she clearly needed an intervention.

Naeela looked at Yusuf. "Why wouldn't she just ask us?" she asked for the hundredth time as tears threatened to spill down her face.

Yusuf squeezed his sister's hand. "Remember that this is harder on her than on us. She probably wasn't thinking straight."

Ammaara sighed, her breath shaky. She too, could not understand what was going through her best friend's mind.

They waited at the door and was greeted by a smiling Maleeha, who held Yusra on her hip. 

"Assalaamualikum!" she greeted, sounding excited and bubbly. "Come on in!" She ushered them into the house.

Yusra squirmed out of her mother's arms when she saw Sakina who could now walk. The two little girls grabbed onto each other’s hands and wobbled away.

Maleeha turned to her family just as Umar came downstairs. They all had solemn looks on their faces and she immediately knew the reason for their unannounced, yet welcomed, visit.

She opened her mouth to speak but her father beat her to it. "Maleeha," he said loudly, startling her. She snapped her mouth shut and waited for him to continue. "Your brother and sister want to help you and you're refusing their help." His simple, direct statement caught Maleeha off guard.

"If we can help, let us! Please!" Yusuf pleaded, his voice gruff with emotion.

"Please." Naeela echoed in a heart-breaking tone.

"You have a husband and a child. If you have a chance to be cured, why wouldn't you take it? Umar and Yusra need you!" Raeesa chimed.

"We need you." Ammaara said softly, her eyes resting just above Maleeha's head.

Maleeha finally found her voice. "I just... I thought it would be selfish to put Naeela and Yusuf through that. It's painful and uncomfortable. I don't want to cause them discomfort for my comfort."

"You won’t be! We just want you to get well! Cancer free!" Naeela erupted. Lowering her voice, she added, "I want you to be able to come to my wedding."

"Fine." Maleeha said. "I'll do the bone marrow transplant. But only if you are absolutely, one hundred percent sure you would like to be the donor."

Yusuf and Naeela glanced at each other. "Really?" they said in unison, both of their voices laden with hope.

Maleeha nodded. "You both have to promise to do your research on it though. And if you have any reservations - and I mean ANY reservations - you need to let me know."

Both siblings grabbed Maleeha in a hug, clashing into one another.

"Alhumdullillah." They heard Umar as he fell to the ground. Maleeha turned to him questioningly but he had fallen into prostration. When he got up, she raised her eyebrow at him. "I needed you to agree and alhumdullillah! You have." 

Maleeha ran to him and threw her arms around him. "I am so sorry! Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want to upset you." Umar showered Maleeha's face with kisses, forgetting that they had company.

She gently got up and apologised to her family for thinking irrationally. They spent the rest of the day together, comfortably soaking up each other’s company.

The next day, Yusuf and Naeela accompanied Maleeha and Umar to the doctor's office. The doctor had been elated to hear that Maleeha had changed her mind when they had given him a call early that morning.

Yusuf and Naeela were both tested to see who would be a better match for Maleeha. In minutes, they were done and notified that they would receive results within a few days.

The next few days went by excruciatingly slowly for Yusuf and Naeela, each one anxiously hoping that they would be able to help their sister. All three of the Burke siblings were called into the doctor's office later in the week.

Maleeha sat between Yusuf and Naeela and waited for the doctor to reveal the results.

"How is everyone doing today?" The doctor asked.

"Fine." All three of them chorused, growing more impatient by the second. 

The doctor laughed. "I know you're impatient so let’s get straight to it. Naeela Burke is a closer match than Yusuf Burke." He stated as he glanced over his glasses at the three siblings sitting in front of him. "Naeela... That's you?" He asked in Naeela's direction.

Naeela nodded and smiled widely. "I knew it!" She looked over at Yusuf. "Sorry," she told him.

"I suspected that your sister would be a closer match than you," the doctor told Yusuf. 

Yusuf nodded and sighed. "If I can do anything else, anything at all, please let me," he told his sister, feeling slightly dejected.

Maleeha hugged Yusuf. "I just need you to be there for me the way you always have been."

Yusuf smiled at her. "That goes without saying."

The doctor explained the procedure and scheduled a stem cell transplant for the next week. The three siblings went home to share the news with their family.

Maleeha turned to Naeela. "You do know that this will not be completely easy for you right?" she asked.

Naeela nodded. "I did my research."

"You'll probably recover in about two days but it can take up to two or three weeks for you to feel completely normal again. Also, you might feel a little pain and notice some bruising after the procedure."

Naeela nodded again. "I know. Are you trying to scare me off? Because I have made up my mind and I even spoke to a doctor about the stem cell procedure. I know the risks and the side effects. I want to do this for you okay?"

Maleeha hugged her sister tightly. "In Sha Allah this will work and then we can concentrate on your wedding."

The following week rolled around quickly and before they knew it, the stem cell transplant had been completed. Naeela and Maleeha shared a room at the hospital as Naeela had to stay overnight for observation.

After Naeela was discharged, Maleeha had to spend the next few weeks in hospital. The side effects of the transplant had Maleeha feeling worse than she ever did. Her entire body ached, she was constantly throwing up and her mouth was laden with painful sores. Everyone that came to see her had to wear a mask to ensure that she did not get sick and catch a fever. It was a miserable few weeks for Maleeha and her family. 

Umar watched the woman he loved painfully sit up in her bed and he rushed to help her. The circles under her eyes were so dark, they were almost purple. Her skin was pale and dull. Her cheeks had sunken in and her hair was thinning out. She was merely a skeleton of her former self and Umar forced himself to be strong.

But he could feel his strength faltering day by day. He needed Maleeha to get well and smile the way she used to. She was his rock and to see his rock perishing was one of the hardest things he had ever had to endure. Although he had the physical strength, he didn't feel as if he had the emotional strength.

Maleeha noticed the way her sickness had destroyed her husband. She wished that she could calm his soul and ease all of his pain away.

So when she woke up and saw his head resting on her bed, she smiled and said, "Habibi, you'll be okay. We'll be okay."

Umar gave a weak smile. "We will," he agreed.

"Stop stressing and look at Yusra. She will bring ease to your heart."

Umar agreed again. "She really is the ease in our life, isn't she?"

Maleeha barely managed to nod without cringing in discomfort. "Allah has made her a blessing for us."

To Umar's excitement, as the rest of the weeks passed by, Maleeha began to look better and better and her strength started to return. The colour returned to her cheeks, the dark circles under her eyes began to fade and her face started to look fuller.

Naeela was ecstatic. She could not believe that her sister looked well and with Allah's mercy, she was the one who had helped her sister get better.

It was as if Maleeha's entire family had been holding in a breath and when they saw her health return, they let out a relieved sigh.

The doctor approached Maleeha as she sat laughing with Umar. "I have some good news." He smiled. They looked at him questioningly, silently urging him to go on. "Looks like your blood results are clear. You're on the road to recovery Mrs Aziz!"

Maleeha stared blankly at the doctor before doing a double take. "What?" she squeaked, hoping that she had heard right.

Umar was still staring at the doctor, open mouthed, hardly able to believe that this was happening.

The doctor laughed. "We can no longer detect any cancer cells. You may go home soon!"

"Alhumdullillah!" Umar bellowed happily, hugging Maleeha. "Alhumdullillah, alhumdullillah, alhumdullillah!" The happiness in his voice was a beautiful melody to Maleeha's ears.

"Alhumdullillah!" Maleeha chorused.

The doctor's face grew serious. "Mrs Aziz, you do need to look after yourself though. There's always a possibility of a relapse."

Maleeha smiled. "That's only in God's will. But for now I will celebrate my health."

Just as the doctor left the room, Maleeha's family showed up. She gave them the good news and the room erupted in pure joy. It was one of the most beautiful moments.

Before they knew it, Maleeha was finally back at home as she adjusted to her routine. Raeesa stayed over to ensure that her daughter could recover fully. In two weeks, Maleeha felt like her normal self again and she could finally help Naeela with all the wedding preparations.

She smiled to herself as she sat on her prayer mat with her hands raised towards the heavens. She thanked her Lord for everything that she had endured and every little bit of pain that she had experienced. She had only been given that which she could bear. And if Allah willed it, she could live another eighty years or another eight years, it all depended on His will. 

Maleeha realised that no matter what Allah's will was, she could accept it because she had accepted that everything that He wills has already been written out and every step in life only occurs with Allah's will. Although she had initially failed to accept her fate, she had learned to wholeheartedly accept whatever was meant for her. And her acceptance was only by the mercy of Allah.

But alas! Maleeha wondered if this was the end of her test.

**************************************************
Part 23

The preparations for Naeela's wedding were well underway as she wanted a small wedding. Maleeha assisted her in every little aspect to ensure that her sister would experience the perfect day. 

Naeela could barely contain her excitement as her sister, Ammaara and Tasneem fussed over her a few hours before her wedding. She was practically bouncing in her seat, her heart truly happy.

She glanced at Maleeha. "I am so glad that you're with me today," she whispered as tears fell from her eyes.

Maleeha sniffed and wiped away the few tears that had escaped. "So am I. I was almost certain that I wouldn't make it."

Naeela pulled her sister in for a hug. "Please don't say that. Please don't ever say that."

Ammaara and Tasneem busied themselves with Naeela's dress so as to not disturb the beautiful moment between the two sisters. They struggled to keep their tears silent as the two sisters embraced one another.

Naeela's wedding was one of the most beautiful weddings Maleeha had ever attended. It was filled with light and simplicity. Yusra and Sakina wore cute, matching dresses in the same shade as Naeela's. The two little girls captured the guests heart with their sweet smiles and their friendly personalities.

Asif and Naeela made an extraordinary couple, each of them so beautiful in their own way. 

The wedding was small and intimate, with only their closest family and friends. Naeela had opted to wear a beautiful cream gown that enunciated her beautiful features. Her husband, Asif, wore a dark thobe complementing his wife beautifully.

Later that week, Maleeha pulled out her journal and settled onto her bed. She turned to the page that listed all of her goals just as Umar joined her.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"I want to see which items on this list I've completed. There were times when I thought that I wouldn't make it and today I thought to myself, what if I didn't make it? Would I have completed everything on this list? I don't think so. So I'm going to make it my mission to tick off every last item soon. You never know when you're going to die." Maleeha looked down at the list in front of her and began ticking off items with the help of Umar.

GOALS:
1. Get into a good university ✔️
2. Pass every year ✔️
3. Graduate at the top of my class ✔️
4. Fall in love with the man I marry ✔️
5. Spend a day doing good ✔️
6. Have kids ✔️
7. Visit Makkah and Madina ✔️
8. Wear the hijaab ✔️
9. Perform all my salaahs ✔️
10. Learn 40 hadiths ✔️
11. Never stop smiling
12. Always be thankful
13. Get a great job ✔️
14. Plant a tree
15. Build a well
16. Perform random acts of kindness
17. Teach my children how to perform salaah

Umar glanced at the list. "You've never stopped smiling."

Maleeha held the pen to her mouth. "Well, that's a continuous item. And so is number twelve and number sixteen. Oh! Look at this! I need to plant a tree and build a well. I think I have enough money saved up for both of them. Will you be able to find out where I can do both of them please?"

Umar agreed and kissed Maleeha on her cheek just as she added another item.

18. Die with a smile on my face.

He looked at her in wonderment. "How will you check that one off?" he asked teasingly.

Maleeha grinned. "I won't. But it will motivate me to be the best I can be." 

Two weeks later, Maleeha, Umar and Yusra made their way to a local park. They had organised to plant trees with the authorities along with other volunteers. They were joined by Ammaara, Yusuf and Sakina, Naeela and Asif and Tasneem. Maleeha had donated all of the trees, some of them being large shade trees and others were small fruit trees. She had also donated resting rocks and benches. She tried to keep her small act of kindness quiet but her family suspected that she had been the generous donor.

By the end of the day, the families were soiled from head to toe but they were all happy. It had been a rewarding experience which was thoroughly enjoyed by all participants. Maleeha walked towards the tree she had planted. Her family had already seated themselves under the shade.

Maleeha grinned. "It looks like we're already getting the reward for this tree. You're taking benefit from the shade and one day all of these other trees will bear fruit In Sha Allah."

Umar settled onto the rock that had been embedded into the ground, which was perched next to the tree. 

"Please give me your pocket knife." Maleeha asked Umar. He looked at her quizzically, but wordlessly handed it to her. She began to carve something and when she was done she got up and smiled, she had engraved M + U. 

Umar lightly touched the engraving. "You're engraved into my heart the way you engraved our initials into this rock. The only difference is that my heart in impenetrable to the natural effects of erosion."

Maleeha laughed and jumped into her husband's arms. Seeing this, Yusra too, got up and jumped into Umar's lap, completing the perfect family moment.

Maleeha had sent her money to a reputable charity organization who had been collecting funds to build a few wells. When she looked at her bank balance again, it was almost empty. Maleeha smiled in satisfaction, feeling good about herself. All of her studying did not completely go to waste as it had enabled her to get a good paying job. If it hadn't been for her job, she wouldn't have had the money to donate anything. She knew that she would still have money, but it wouldn't have been her own which she had worked hard for. And she would much rather spend her own money in charity than anyone else's. 

Yusra had learned how to pray salaah as her mother taught her the actions and the words every day. The little girl idolized her beautiful mother, trying to copy her every move. Maleeha also began to teach Yusra the small hadiths that she knew, like covering her mouth when she yawned or greeting with salaam. She endeavoured to bring her daughter up in the best way that she could. Also, since she felt that she had neglected Yusra while she was sick, she tried to spend as much time with her as possible.

Maleeha felt that her sickness had put everything into perspective for her. She gave all of her love to her family, cherishing even the most futile moments.

Umar was the happiest man in the world. He had felt as if he were so close to losing Maleeha, as if she was hanging from a cliff and she was slipping from his grasp. He could not stop thanking Allah for giving him his wife back. She was the reason for his smiles, his happiness, his contentment. 

Although the little family basked in their happiness, they had no idea that life isn't always perfect. 

After all, the believer will be tested, over and over again in multiple different ways or with the same occurrences of the same afflictions. And the human mind needs to understand that Allah has stated in His holy book with verses such as: "Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: 'We believe,' and will not be tested?" and verses like "And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits…". 

And sometimes one feels that one is beyond their breaking point. They feel that they cannot be tested any more than they already have, otherwise they will dissolve into a pool of weakness and fail the trials and tribulations that they have been tested with. But it is in those moments that one remembers that "Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…" Allah knows the breaking point of each individual and sometimes one is pushed beyond that because one can bear more than their mind can fathom. 

With each test that one endures, one will be rewarded with a sweetness that is beyond the comprehension of the feeble human mind.

A few months down the line, Maleeha began to feel sick again. Initially, she thought that she was just feeling weak but it started to get worse. 

A loud crash followed by a faint cry had Umar taking the stairs two at a time.

"Habibi!" Maleeha called weakly from the kitchen. 

Umar rushed towards his wife who sat on the floor, looking pale and surrounded by fragments of glass. "What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

"The bowl slipped," Maleeha said weakly.

"No, I mean what happened?" Umar asked, urgency in his voice.

"I don't know." Maleeha admitted. "I just started feeling dizzy."

"For how long have you been feeling this way?" Umar asked, his forehead creased.

"Since yester-" She stopped talking mid-sentence and her eyes began to roll back. Her head slumped to the side and Umar scooped her up into his arms and loaded her into the car. He picked up Yusra who had been playing with her toys and frantically buckled her up.

But Allah's will is not always understood by the simple human mind which cannot comprehend the vast wisdom of Allah. And Allah's plan is glorious. After all, Allah has predestined every happening on earth, every human, every breath, every grain of sand. And everything that has been written for every human being has been recorded in the Book of Decrees fifty thousand years before the creation of the heavens and the earth.

**************************************************

Part 24

Maleeha had lost consciousness and the doctors fussed around her. Umar turned to his Lord, begging Him to keep his wife safe. Maleeha's family had been alerted and they all waited in the waiting room, whispering soft prayers. 

Umar paced the bright tiled floor and aggressively ran his hand through his hair. He tried to calm his nerves by sitting down but he was too jittery. He needed Maleeha to be okay.

His heart hammered in his chest with each pacing step. It felt like hours before the doctor made his reappearance.

Umar rushed to him, followed by everyone else. "Is she okay?" he asked breathlessly.

The doctor removed his glasses tiredly. "She's fine for now."

"What happened?" Adam asked.

"We don't know yet. We'll know for sure once we get back the blood test results."

Umar felt his world crashing down again. "Is it cancer again? Has she relapsed?"

"We don't know yet. For now, let us not make any assumptions okay?"

"Can I see her?" Umar asked.

"She's resting, but yes, you may."

Umar walked into the room and felt as if he was being suffocated. Maleeha lay before him, hooked up to tubes. It had been an image that he had so desperately wished to forget and never have to see again, but here he was. It was as if history was repeating itself.

Maleeha's eyes fluttered open. "Umar?" she called out.

"Habibti, I'm right here." He grabbed her hand and gently squeezed it.

"What happened?" she asked groggily.

"You're in the hospital. You fainted."

Maleeha groaned. "Was it all just a dream?"

"Was what a dream?"

"It was gone. The cancer was gone and we were happy."

Umar could feel the tears prickling his eyelids. "No habibti. It was not a dream. Your cancer really was gone and In Sha Allah it still is. You just lost consciousness today, that's why you're back here."

Maleeha nodded. "Alhumdullillah." She could feel her eyes closing again. "I'm just going to rest, okay?"

Umar nodded and the minute her eyes closed, the tears poured down his face and into the whirlpool of emotions brewing close to him. He kissed Maleeha's soft cheek as her mother walked in.

"How is she?" Raeesa asked, her voice quivering.

"She's very tired," Umar replied, too defeated to say any more.

Raeesa nodded and placed a kiss on her daughter's forehead as Adam walked in. Umar barely noticed the rest of the family as he was too busy whispering prayers to Allah. 

Maleeha spent the rest of the week in hospital. Umar was feeding her when the doctor walked in. Umar placed the food on the table next to the bed and greeted the doctor.

"Did the blood results come in?" Umar blurted out.

"Yes." The doctor paused, allowing a minute to go by and then another.

"Well?" Umar prompted.

"I am so sorry Mrs Aziz. You have relapsed. There were more cancer cells found in your blood." The doctor's voice was soft and apologetic. Over the course of Maleeha's treatment, he had grown very fond of her.

"Alhumdullillah." Maleeha whispered.

Umar watched her, wondering if he had heard right. "Habibti? He said that you have relapsed."

Maleeha nodded. "I know. Alhumdullillah. It is Allah's will and we don't question Allah's will." Umar felt as if he was in a bad dream. History was repeating itself but this time Maleeha was in control of her emotions. And he was sure that these were the very words that Maleeha had used the first time. "Alhumdullillah for the few months that I was cancer free, alhumdullillah for all the happiness, alhumdullillah for the cancer. Allah has got to love me if He is testing me again right?" Maleeha smiled.

Umar tried to control his emotions to prevent himself from breaking down and allowing the sorrowful pit of hopelessness to swallow him. He glanced at her face which showed no sign of despondency. Instead, she seemed to be content, happy. "Allah really does love you. After all, it is said that when Allah loves you, so does everyone else. And there is not a single person who does not like you."

Maleeha's smile grew wider and then it disappeared as she noticed the look of despair on her husband's face. "You will be okay, my love. WE will be okay. It's not the end of the world. I'm strong enough to get through this. I need you to be by my side and I'll be fine."

"I'll always be by your side," Umar promised, his heart shattering. He took a deep breath and swallowed the lump in his throat. "I guess we have to break the news to the family."

Maleeha nodded. "You can call them." She said softly, already dreading the pain they would encounter on hearing the news. "But don't break the news over the phone. Tell them to come here."

In twenty minutes, Raeesa, Yusra and Adam arrived at the hospital shortly followed by Naeela and Asif, and Yusuf, Ammaara and Sakina. The minute they saw the look on Umar's face, they knew that something was terribly wrong. But when they saw a smiling Maleeha, they wondered what could possibly have caused the look on Umar's face.

Maleeha squealed in delight when she saw her little girl and held out her hands. Yusra bubbled in excitement, eager to be in her mother's arms.

Naeela was the first one to peck Maleeha's cheek and ask, "Is something wrong?"

Maleeha wanted to ignore the question and pretend that everything was fine but she knew that she couldn't. She looked at Umar, who nodded in assurance. "My blood tests came back today..." she paused for what seemed like hours. "Allah has decided to test me again," she said simply.

"What does that mean?" Adam and Yusuf demanded at the same time.

Maleeha took a deep breath. "I've relapsed."

She was met with confused silence. "You what?" asked Ammaara, clearly unable to comprehend what her best friend had just said.

Naeela was shaking her head, gripping Asif's arm so hard that it had begun to change colour.

"There were cancer cells detected in my blood again."

Naeela collapsed to the ground as the rest of the family gasped in denial. She was shaking her head more vigorously. "It can't be!" she exclaimed over and over again to herself.

But Maleeha smiled sadly. "Allah's will. It was all in His plan for me and I have accepted it. I'm okay, I've been built for this," Maleeha said, her voice etched with comfort and assurance. She looked at each of her family members in turn. "It's not the end of the world. I promise."

Maleeha's family did not take the news too well, but after Maleeha convinced them that she would be okay because Allah had a plan for her, they seemed to take the news a little better.

The doctor started chemotherapy that very day but Maleeha's body did not take it too well. Various other chemotherapy treatments were tested on Maleeha but her body responded to none. Soon after the treatments, Maleeha began to experience flu like symptoms followed by severe vomiting. The doctor rushed into her room just as she began throwing up blood. 

Umar could not handle how frail his wife looked. He was terrified for her, hoping that she would recover soon. The thought of losing her had encapsulated Umar's entire being, freezing him in complete horror. He felt that he could not breathe, as if the life had been sucked right out of him.

The rest of the week continued in a similar manner. Since Maleeha's body was so weak, the doctor could not resume chemotherapy. Maleeha was barely conscious of her surroundings that she had barely noticed that Umar had not left her side, nor the fact that her family had been in and out of the hospital. 

Yusra was perched on Umar's lap one night, begging her mother to get up. Umar had to control the dam of emotions that had built up inside of him and tried to explain to his daughter that her mother was sleeping. 

Yusra eventually fell off to sleep on her father's lap as he continued to stare at his wife, willing her to get up and notice him. As if she could read his mind, her eyes fluttered open and she groaned drowsily. 

"You're up!" Umar exclaimed in a whisper so as to not wake Yusra.

Maleeha mustered a weak smile that turned into a grimace of pain. "I...am," she said tiredly.

Umar responded to her smile. "Yusra was waiting for you to get up."

"Bring... her." Maleeha croaked, trying hard to speak normally.

Umar placed his peaceful daughter next to his wife. Maleeha managed to kiss Yusra and was just about to say something when her eyes rolled backward and her body went limp. The steady beating of the monitor had accelerated and before Umar could call someone, nurses flooded the room and pushed Umar out of the way. 

With all the commotion, Yusra had gotten up and was crying loudly, confused and bewildered.

Umar watched as the scene in front of him unfolded in slow motion. He clutched onto a screaming Yusra, too scared to move. The doctor rushed in just as Umar was pushed out of the room. He heard Ammaara speaking to him in the background but he could not comprehend. Yusra was taken out of his arms and soothed.

"Umar!" Yusuf was shaking Umar, trying to break him out of his twisted thoughts. He snapped his attention to his brother in law who was speaking to him. "What happened?" Yusuf asked urgently.

"I... don't...know." Umar whispered, shell shocked. "She was fine and then her eyes-" His voice cracked with emotion and he could no longer carry on.

For hours, Umar and the family paced the waiting room, stressed and teary. When the doctor finally walked into the waiting room, Umar felt his heart stop.

The doctor raised his eyes and met Umar's, his expression grave.

And when he uttered the next words, Umar felt as if the world had been ripped out from underneath him as his heart pierced his soul.

**************************************************

Part 25

"I'm sorry Mr Aziz, her organs are failing."

Umar was frozen into shock, his broken heart ripping at its seams, tormented by the pain within him. He needed Maleeha. He NEEDED her to be okay, to tell him that it would be okay.

Umar could hear Yusuf speaking to the doctor. He heard the words 'no hope', 'little chance of survival' and 'pray' and he thought that he would explode from all the pain.

It was as if a storm had taken residence in his heart, destroying every part of him, wreaking havoc. He could feel himself crying internally, a pain so intense that even the strongest of persons cannot handle.

His eyes were glazed over, it was as if he had been injected with a drug that rendered him paralyzed. He could not move, he could not breathe.

He could feel a hand trying to shake him out of his controlling paralysis but he could not respond. He was drowning in his own pain, too weak to reach back into reality and grasp the last straws of hope that he was clinging on to. 

He felt himself being led into a room and he willed his eyesight to clear. He could feel his wife's presence so with every last bit of strength within him, he pulled himself out of the dark pit that was about to consume him. He fell to his wife's side, begging her to fight. 

Maleeha was hooked to countless different tubes. An oxygen mask covered her face and the steady beep of the monitor danced to her heart beat.

"Please habibti. Please get up. Please don't leave me in this cruel world. Yusra and I need you. Please habibti." He broke down into the most painful sobs that was ever heard. He could feel Yusuf helping him up again, urging him to make dua as dua was the only thing that could help Maleeha.

He prayed hard, with every ounce of sincerity within him, begging Allah for a miracle. He could hear the sobs of Raeesa, Naeela and Ammaara, each one caught up in their own prayers. He could hear the stifled sobs of Yusuf and Adam. But he ignored all of them and concentrated on his own prayers. He knew that only a miracle could help them now. And he needed Allah to make the impossible possible. He prayed from his broken heart as the tears rushed down his face, begging and pleading with his Lord. But he knew that if Maleeha's time was up and she was meant to return to her Lord, she would.

He went back to her room and began speaking to the unconscious Maleeha. "Habibti, this was supposed to be a surprise for you but I don't know if..." His voice cracked in emotion. "I don't know if Allah will call you back before you get to hear it." He began reciting the quraan from the very first chapter. He sounded melodious, calming, beautiful. His voice echoed throughout the room, reverberating through Maleeha's heart and reaching her soul. His voice was rich and smooth, soothing to every person that heard it. His tajweed was perfect, his Arabic eloquent. It was as if he was always meant to recite the quraan. He continued into the night, pausing only for his prayers. 

Umar had decided to learn the entire quraan and become a hafidh after Maleeha had mentioned it all those years ago. But he kept on procrastinating until Maleeha was diagnosed with cancer. That's when he pushed himself to become a hafidh.

Reciting the quraan had calmed Umar's heart and touched his soul. During his beautiful recitation, he had been so caught up in the words that he hadn't noticed the small audience of doctors and nurses that had gathered outside the room to hear him. He continued to recite the beautiful words of Allah, the poetic words pouring flawlessly out of his mouth, coming straight from his heart. He must have completed the recitation of the entire quraan twelve hours later because it was dark and quiet.

And during his recitation, Maleeha's heart and soul had heard every single word. The beautiful melody caressed her, bringing about sweetness and light during this dreaded time. Although her eyes had not opened, her heart and soul had openly captured each word, vaulting it into her heart.

And when the doctors ran their tests the next day, confused by the sudden change in Maleeha, they were astounded. They ran the same test three times, each time certain that there was a mistake. But there was no mistake.

Maleeha's organs had begun to function normally again. It was puzzling, a question that had no answer. It left the doctors with deep creases in their foreheads and quizzical expressions on their faces.

So when Umar saw the doctor approach him, looking utterly confused, he wondered what had happened.

"Mr Aziz," the doctor said, scratching his head. "It appears that your wife's organs are functioning normally again. It almost seems as if they were never failing in the first place. It's a miracle, one that science cannot explain."

Umar thought he was hearing things. Adam, who had been standing behind him, bellowed in praise. And when Umar asked the doctor to repeat himself, he fell to the floor in prostration, laughing and crying at the same time. He could not thank Allah enough for the perfect miracle. The rest of the family had reacted in a similar manner, each one bursting out in "Alhumdullillah!", raising their hands to the heavens and thanking Allah for his miracle.

Maleeha had finally opened her eyes and when Umar walked in to a smiling Maleeha, he rushed forward and showered her with kisses. She laughed weakly, laughing at his sudden excitement.

"Are you that excited to see me?" she asked him.

"You have no idea," Umar said as he hugged her again.

Maleeha raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Your organs were failing habibti. The doctors had been sure that there was..." He couldn't complete his sentence without his voice breaking. "They thought there was no hope left for you. It's a miracle!"

Maleeha's face registered in shock. "What? That can't be. I was peacefully dreaming for a very long time. I would have felt the pain right?"

Umar shrugged. "Allah is merciful my love. And He works in mysterious ways. Our minds cannot fathom the way He works."

Maleeha nodded. "I had a beautiful dream though," she smiled as she remembered her dream. "We were sitting in a beautiful field and you had memorised the quraan and you were reciting it to me. It had touched my heart."

Umar's eyes widened. "Alhumdullillah." He felt as if he could not say another word. Surely, Allah works in mysterious ways. He finally found his voice. "I did memorise the quraan for you habibti. It was a surprise... Yesterday after the terrible news, the only solace I found was in the quraan so I began reciting it for you. From start to finish, it must have taken me hours!"

"So you were reciting the quraan," Maleeha breathed in astonishment. "Please recite it for me again. Just a few verses."

Umar began reciting the verse that Maleeha was all too familiar with. "And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits…" 

Maleeha smiled and closed her eyes, relishing in the beautiful melody. When Umar was done, she opened her eyes. "That was beautiful," she whispered.

He smiled at her, almost unable to believe that she was okay again. All he could do was stare at the woman in front of him who had a beautiful smile on her face. Just yesterday she was hanging on by a thread, her life almost over and today she looked completely fine.

The doctor walked in and was happy to see Maleeha awake.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Pretty good actually," Maleeha replied brightly.

"That's good. Mrs Aziz, your cancer is spreading rapidly and since chemotherapy will not work, I can suggest we start looking at experimental cancer treatments or other clinical trials."

Maleeha nodded thoughtfully. "Will they work?"

"There's a chance that it will."

"What is the probability of it working?"

"We're not too sure yet," the doctor admitted.

"What if I decide I don't want any treatments?" Maleeha asked.

The doctor nodded. "That's fine. But I will warn you again, the cancer is spreading very fast."

"How long do I have left?" Maleeha asked softly, looking anywhere but at Umar. She could hear the sharp intake of breath that he took and tried not to look at him.

"There are many treatments we can try Mrs Aziz. You don't-"

"Please tell me how long?" Maleeha interrupted.

The doctor looked down and paused. "About four to six months."

Umar gasped loudly and grabbed Maleeha's hand. She squeezed it reassuringly. "Well I would rather spend those four or six months around my family, making memories rather than enduring treatments that may never work."

Umar could feel his heart give way the way the earth gave way during an earthquake. He could feel his world shaking, crumbling to the ground as if it had never been strong enough to hold him up.

The doctor nodded. "I'll give you time to think about it."

As soon as the doctor left, Maleeha gathered her courage and looked at Umar. Instead of crying, he had a sad smile on his face. "What do you think?" Maleeha asked.

"I think you made the right decision." The sadness in his heart seeped into his voice. "I love you so much."

"I would rather die happy than die disappointed if the treatments don't work."

Umar choked back his tears. "You are so strong," he whispered.

"It is only with Allah's mercy that I have the strength. And whatever His will, I will wholeheartedly accept it." Maleeha paused before continuing. "One more thing, don't tell my family that I may only have a few months to live. I don't want them to fuss over me."

Umar nodded. "Ok habibti."

"And habibi?" Maleeha said gently.

"Yes?"

"Please don't keep the suggested length of my life in the back of your mind, otherwise things cannot go back to normal."

"I'll try," Umar promised as a tear escaped . "I cannot bear to lose you," he whispered.

"And I cannot bear to lose you," Maleeha said. "That's why you need to be normal with me. You need to be the Umar that I had fallen in love with. Not the Umar who has been drowning in despair."

Umar smiled. "I'll be whoever you need me to be."

Maleeha laughed. "In that case can you be my cancer treatment?"

"Well, I do know that I can be the type of therapy that can make you forget about the cancer."

"You know me too well."

**************************************************

Part 26

Maleeha was discharged a few days later, much to her excitement. She began to spend more hours on her prayer mat to strengthen the connection with her Lord. She also spent a lot of her free time with her loved ones. Most importantly, she spent time with Yusra and Umar. Day by day, Yusra was growing and she began to adopt her mother's habits.

Maleeha ensured that she did not spend any of her time on mundane tasks, she needed to make sure that she spent the last few months of her life making memories and preparing for her final destination.

The magnitude of Maleeha's future would often haunt her but she continually reminded herself that Allah's will can never be challenged, only accepted. 

Her favourite pastime was listening to Umar recite the beautiful words of the quraan. She would watch the way his face would crease in concentration and the earnest way he would recite the touching words. Yusra too became used to her daily dose of her father's recitation. She would sit quietly while the words poured out of her father's mouth.

The small family made beautiful memories in the few short months. They spent time watching the beautiful waterfall where Umar had proposed to Maleeha, visited aquariums, spent time on the beach, watched the sunset, had picnics, cooked as a family and even attended archery lessons together. Although Maleeha would often get extremely tired, she was adamant to complete all the tasks that they had planned. 

One night, long after Maleeha had fallen asleep, Umar got up and resorted to his prayer mat. The four months were closing in and his heart felt like it would explode. He was terrified to lose his wife; the mere thought would paralyze him to his core. He begged Allah to ease his pain and his wife's pain. He could not bear to see her hurting as his own heart was in a very fragile state. And as he poured his heart out to his Lord, his chest heaving with the magnitude of his problems, and the tears pouring down his cheeks and soaking the beard he had decided to keep, a sudden thought occurred to him.

The very next day, Umar booked the flights. He knew that Maleeha had felt as if she had left her heart in the beautiful cities of Makkah and Madina so he wanted to treat his family by taking them for Umrah. He also contacted his family and Maleeha's family and asked if they would like to join them. Much to his surprise, everyone had agreed. Umar had been certain that he wouldn't be able to persuade both their families in joining them. He was ecstatic, wondering if this was the very last place that they would go to together.

Later that week, Umar approached his wife who was watching Yusra sleep, while whispering prayers.

"Is she asleep?" Umar asked.

Maleeha nodded and placed her finger over her lips. "Let’s go," she mouthed.

They tiptoed out of Yusra's room and made their way to their room. Maleeha perched herself on the edge of the bed as Umar crouched down in front of her. She looked at his goofy smile and raised an eyebrow.

"Guess what?" he said.

Maleeha shrugged her shoulders and smiled. "I don't know."

"What is the one thing that you really want to do?" Umar asked.

She closed her eyes and thought for a second. "Honestly, I can't think of anything. I just want to spend time with my loved ones."

Umar grinned. "What if I tell you that you can spend time with Yusra, myself, my family and your family in another country."

"That sounds fun. Although I don't think it matters where we are, what matters is who we're with," Maleeha replied as she placed her arms around her husband's neck.

"Well, this place will matter, habibti. We're going for Umrah."

Maleeha's mouth fell open and her hands flew to her face. "Seriously?" she asked, trying hard not to fall over in excitement.

"Seriously." Umar replied.

She had to keep herself from screaming, she was so excited that she thought that she would burst from the joy.

As Maleeha began with her preparations for her Umrah trip, she prayed that she would make it. She knew that she was nearing the fourth month mark and that she could die any day. Her heart would constrict every time she thought about her death, she vaguely remembered telling Umar that she was afraid of death and not being prepared for it. Maleeha had been thinking that she was making the preparations for her death but when she really thought about it, she realised that she would never be prepared for death. She was terrified to die in an unfavourable state that she began trying harder to become a better Muslim.

Within a few weeks, the entire family of Umar's and Maleeha's were ready to board the plane, each person more excited than the next. But Maleeha's excitement was unmatched. She was giddy, almost nervous. She felt like she would be having one last meeting with her Lord in this world. 

Little Sakina and Yusra were both clad in little hijabs and little abayas. They looked absolutely adorable. Even the bystanders were 'oohing' over their cute attire.

They boarded the flight, eager to set foot in the blessed cities again. Maleeha fell asleep on the plane and woke up just before they were landing. Her heart pounded in anticipation, she was eager to set foot in her favourite places on earth.

By the time they had reached their hotel in Makkah, they were tired from the long trip. However, each person was eager to perform Umrah. They freshened up and headed towards the haram. Maleeha's heart pounded as she grew more excited by the second. Yusra could feel her mother's excitement, it was infectious so she too, bounced around happily.

Since it was a quiet time of the year, Maleeha had the opportunity to touch the Kabah with almost every tawaf. And when she would touch the Kabah, she would clutch on to it as if her life depended on it. She prayed and prayed, begging her Lord for forgiveness and asking Him to grant her Jannah. She prayed for her family and their wellbeing, their life without her and for taqwa (God consciousness) to be instilled in all of their hearts.

Her prayers were so intense that onlookers were afraid that she would collapse into a pile of nothingness. Her tears were so sincere that even her heart could feel the physical vibrations of her prayer. 

She hadn't realised that she had needed this more than she thought. Maleeha's family continued to pray for her, each person begging Allah for goodness and for Maleeha's health.

Their stay in Makkah felt as if it ended way too soon. They made their way to the city of peace, excited to walk the same ground the prophet (PBUH) had once walked. Once again, Madina captured their hearts and souls and every single member of the family felt the unusual calm during their stay.

Maleeha walked the blessed lands with Umar on one side of her and Yusra clutching her hand on the other side of her. They walked in silence, relishing in the peace of the quiet city. Maleeha could feel her heart embracing the calm, it was welcoming. The last time she had felt such calm was when she had dreamt about it.

Umar began to look much better as well. He allowed both cities to capture him the way it had before. With each prayer, he felt better and better.

Maleeha crouched down in front of Yusra. "Do you like this place?" she asked her.

Yusra nodded as she continued to suck on her thumb. Maleeha looked into her daughter's eyes, a mirror image of her own, and hugged her. "Let's stay!" Yusra exclaimed.

Umar laughed. "A part of us will always stay here," he replied.

Yusra nodded seriously as if she understood what her father was saying.

"You will come back here, In Sha Allah," Maleeha told Yusra.

Yusra beamed. "When?"

"When Allah wants us to come back," Maleeha replied.

"We can come when I'm five!" Yusra exclaimed as she held up her five fingers.

"Yes my baby, you and daddy can come again next year,"

"And you?" Yusra asked innocently.

"Make dua Yusra. Ask Allah to bring us all back okay?" Umar replied quickly as he noticed the look of anguish that had crossed his wife's face.

Yusra nodded and raised her hands right there. She looked at both of her parent's as she whispered her dua loudly, causing both her parent's to laugh.

Maleeha turned to Umar. "She really is our ease."

He pecked his wife on the forehead. "Our Yusra."

Their trip came to a sad end as they headed to the airport. This time, Maleeha donned the niqab, making a firm intention to wear it for the pleasure of her Lord. She felt safe behind the veil, it was beautiful.

The weeks following their return from Umrah sped by too quickly. Umar became nervous as he watched his wife's breathing every morning to ensure that he hadn't lost her yet. He knew that death was inevitable and every living creature would return to their Lord but he was still afraid of losing the one human who practically controlled the emotions of his heart. 

**************************************************

Part 27 

Maleeha's health did not seem to deteriorate as time went on. In fact, she seemed to have more energy and she was less tired. Initially, she took no notice of her improving health until Umar pointed it out.

"Habibti, how do you feel?" he asked.

"Alhumdullillah!" Maleeha replied automatically and then paused to really think about it. "Alhumdullillah," she repeated again. "I feel good. Better than good actually, I feel great." She frowned, wondering how that was possible. "Maybe I should go to the doctor."

Umar agreed and they decided to pay the doctor a visit the next day. The doctor took the relevant blood tests after Maleeha explained that she had been feeling great lately. He too, appeared to be surprised.

When the doctor called Maleeha back in to discuss her results, he looked even more confused than he had earlier that week.

"Mrs Aziz, unfortunately it appears that your cancer is still prevalent. In fact, it has spread since the last blood test. I don't understand how you feel better. It's a mystery."

"What does that mean?" Maleeha asked.

"You cancer has spread but there's no physical impact on you."

Maleeha and Umar stared at the doctor in bewilderment. "It's almost the end of six months," Maleeha whispered. "And I feel better than I have ever felt in a very long time."

"We can do further tests," the doctor suggested.

"No!" Maleeha and Umar exclaimed in unison.

"I'm happy right now," Maleeha said softly. "I don't want to be back in a hospital bed, it's miserable."

"Well, it's up to you. But the moment you began to feel sick in any way, I want you to come in for another test. Even if you feel more tired than usual."

Maleeha promised the doctor that she would immediately come in for tests if she felt sick in any way. They made their way to the Burke residence, each occupied with their own thoughts.

She explained to her parent's what the doctor had said and the way she felt. Her parents were just as surprised as the doctor had been. They could not understand how she was feeling better even though her body was riddled with cancer.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" Adam asked in concern.

"Think about it, I have more energy than I had a few months ago, I'm not always tired and I even look better."

Adam nodded thoughtfully. "That's right..." he agreed, still deep in thought.

"I need to tell you something," Maleeha admitted.

Both her parent's snapped to attention, afraid that there may be worse news. "What is it?" Raeesa asked.

"Well, about six months ago, the doctor told me that I may have only four to six months to live."

Adam and Raeesa gasped, fear prevalent on their faces. "Wh-what?" Adam asked.

"But today, he was surprised to see that I'm feeling great. Medically, I should have been dead or close to death," Maleeha said matter-or-factly.

A strangled cry escaped from Raeesa's lips. "Why didn't you tell us?" she whispered through sobs.

Maleeha looked down guiltily. "I couldn't bear to see you break because of me. You both have been so stressed about me, I can see that you have aged and I didn't want to worry you."

"We're your parents," Adam said, his voice uneven. "We always worry about you."

"I know," Maleeha admitted. "But I didn't want to be treated as if I was fragile and too delicate to handle." Maleeha glanced at Umar.

"Even if you try not to, you will end up treating her as delicate. Even a small cough will shake your entire core," Umar admitted, speaking from experience.

Raeesa turned her teary eyes to Umar. "It must have been so hard for you," she whispered.

Umar looked away. "Don't worry about me."

It took Maleeha a while to convince her parent's that she was okay and that she felt great. The magnitude of the news had almost crippled them, had Maleeha not reminded them that it was all in Allah's plan, His will. 

And once Raeesa and Adam remembered that Allah's will can never be challenged even if the entire world tried to challenge it, they accepted their daughter's news.

Maleeha's and Umar's families had learned about Maleeha's situation and each person was terrified that they would receive bad news. Each call from Umar would speed up the heart rate of the receiver as they were almost certain that the call would change lives. But Umar never called with bad news, much to the relief of both families.

Eventually, the six month mark had passed and Maleeha appeared to be better than ever, It was as if she had been a ticking time bomb and everyone around her had been extra cautious, afraid that she may explode any second. But she hadn't, and the ticking time bomb had reached zero.

Maleeha realised that she had been so focused on only living for four to six months that she had always allowed that fact to stay in her mind like a dark cloud. She decided that she would no longer concentrate on how long she had left because time was not guaranteed. 

She thanked Allah for giving her one extra day to better herself and spend time with her loved ones when she was greeted by a new day. And when her outlook on life changed, she was happier. The dark cloud that had snuggled its way into her mind had drifted away, leaving only the brightness of the sun.

Sometimes, death can be inches away from someone, within reach, chasing them but not quite catching them and sometimes death can be far away, beyond reach, but it can catch up to them in a matter of seconds. For it has all been written down in the Book of Decrees and it has been predetermined by the Knower of All, by the orchestrator of life, by Allah Himself.

And so, Maleeha continued to live, much to Umar's delight. Life began to feel normal again. She opted to stop working completely, not because she didn't want to but because she wanted to make up for the time that she had lost with Yusra and Umar. As she thought about her days in university, she smiled wryly. Oh, how she had made her studies of the utmost importance, without the slightest thought of death. And now that death had knocked upon her door, it was the most important thought in her head.

It goes well to say that she did not in the slightest regret studying. She felt that it really had led to independency. Like the prophet Muhammed's (PUBH) wife, Khadija, she had entered the business world and made her own money. And although finances had never been a problem for her, she felt that she could use her own earnings to better the lives of others and it was always a feeling that uplifted her heart.

Maleeha continued to flourish, along with Yusra, in the love that surrounded them. Naeela stopped by one afternoon, looking giddy.

"You look happy!" Maleeha stated after the sisters had greeted each other.

"I am... I have some good news actually," Naeela replied.

"If you're speaking about Umar's sister getting married-"

Naeela's eyes widened. "How did you know?"

"I'm married to her brother," Maleeha stated in an obvious tone.

"Right, I forgot about that. Tasneem is my best friend, I often forget that she's your sister in law."

Maleeha laughed. "Well, I already know about the good news."

"No, I was speaking about some other good news," Naeela replied.

"Oh?" Maleeha asked questioningly.

"I'm pregnant!" Naeela exclaimed in joy.

Maleeha squealed in delight and grabbed her sister in a bear hug. "That's amazing! I'm so excited for you!"

After Naeela went home, Maleeha was hit by the dreaded thought: What if she had been long gone without ever knowing that her sister would be a mother? The more she thought about it, the more she realised that everything happens for a reason. Learning about her sister's pregnancy was meant to happen, just like every other occurrence she had lived through.

There were times when Maleeha would be drawn into her own world, still amazed that she was alive and well. She would ponder about her trials and tribulations, flabbergasted that she had made it through it all, even though there were times that she was convinced that she could not handle it. There were moments that she had been so sure that she would fall apart and never be able to pull herself together again but she had. After all, "Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…" This verse continued to play in the back of Maleeha's mind, reminding her that she was stronger than she realised and Allah knew that she would be able to handle whatever was thrown her way.

**************************************************

Part 28

Weeks began to turn into months and months began to turn into years. Maleeha never seemed to be sick. In fact, she always appeared to be as healthy as ever. It was beautiful.

Yusra grew into a little girl. Apart from looking exactly like Maleeha, she also behaved just the way Maleeha had when she was little. Umar's heart soared and he continuously thanked his Lord for gracing him with a little family.

They continued their anniversary tradition and never failed to help the less fortunate. Yusra also began to look forward to her parent's anniversary as she too, could get involved with helping others.

Naeela had given birth to a little boy who grew beautifully and her best friend, Tasneem, was married.

Little Sakina also grew stunningly and she had already assumed her mother's quirky and bubbly personality, although she looked a lot like a Burke. She loved spending time with Yusra and the two girls easily became best friends, cloning the friendship of their mothers.

The family was blessed to perform Umrah every year since their first Umrah together. The prayer that Yusra had made whilst walking the streets of Madina had definitely been answered.

It was yet another Eid and Maleeha was perfectly well. Although her body never disposed of the cancer, Maleeha still felt great. 

As Maleeha settled at the large table that had been decorated by Ammaara, she grinned happily. She was surrounded by her loved ones, the laughter and chatter wafted through the air in a lazy dance, soothing her ears.

She watched Umar as he helped Yusuf carry a large water cooler outside. They laughed together as if they were old friends. Umar caught Maleeha staring at him the way she had stared at him the very first time that they had met and he winked playfully. She turned away and blushed shyly, the way she always did when Umar openly flirted with her.

He made his way towards her and pecked her on the cheek, causing her to turn crimson. 

Umar laughed. "Do I still make you shy?" he whispered in a husky voice.

Maleeha grinned. "You always have habibi."

Yusra's excited squeal broke them out of their moment. They turned towards their daughter who had a bunch of flowers in one hand and she gripped Sakina's hand with her other hand. Both girls wore matching dresses and they looked like sisters. Maleeha watched as the two little girls made their way to a gurgling Hammaad, Naeela's son, who was crawling in the little play pen that had been set up outside. They sat down next to him and Yusra handed out the flowers, bringing smiles to the onlookers.

Umar turned to Maleeha. "She looks exactly like you. That smile looks exactly like yours."

Maleeha grinned, matching the grin that Yusra wore. "She really has been our ease, hasn't she?"

Minutes later, the rest of the family settled down at the large table for lunch. Maleeha's eyes rested on each member of her family and she made a silent prayer for each of them. They had been her pillars of strength and they had been there for her during her darkest hours. It was as if they were the angels that she had been blessed with. Little did she know, that her family had always considered her the angel in disguise. 

She broke out of her reverie as Naeela's tinkling laugh met her ears. She caught Naeela's eye and they grinned at each other.

Although Raeesa and Adam had aged, they both looked content. Maleeha caught them looking at each other and laughing, sharing a joke. They noticed Maleeha watching them.

"Your father was just reminding me of the way you insisted that everyone in this house must smile when you initially learned that smiling is Sunnah. You must have been four or five," Raeesa said.

"She would get upset if we didn't smile, even if we really didn't want to," Yusuf added.

"We ended up walking around with fake smiles for the first week and by the second week, we were so used to it," Adam said.

The family burst into laughter and Maleeha's heart soared. Every single time that her heart had crumpled and broken had been reciprocated with joy. Every heartache had been replaced by a happiness so pure, it was unbelievable. Every moment that had led up to this moment had been predestined, taqdeer. It had all been a part of Allah's perfect plan. 

That night Maleeha settled Yusra in for the night and placed a soft kiss on her creamy cheek.

She made her way back to the room and went to her prayer mat. She prayed to her Lord, thanking Him over and over again for all that had been bestowed upon her. Maleeha knew that although she had led a perfect life, she was meant to be tested. And if she had passed the test, heaven and all of its divine treasures awaited her presence.

The heartache that had encrusted her life and spread darkness throughout was whipped away with the howling winds of a strong hurricane, leaving behind the lessons that it had come with, staining the lives of many.

She completed her prayer just as Umar exited the bathroom, his hair dripping wet. Maleeha watched him as he ran his fingers through his hair. He caught her looking at him and she winked playfully.

Umar laughed. "Have you prayed yet?" he asked.

"No, I was waiting for you to lead the salaah."

Umar quickly got dressed and stepped upon his prayer mat. As he began praying loudly, with Maleeha behind him, he prayed from his heart. His beautiful, silky voice flowed through the house in perfect harmonic symphony. He recited Surah Baqarah and came to the verse; "And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits…" as the tears flowed from his eyes. It was the first time that he knew exactly what it meant. Maleeha too, could not control her tears. The beautiful words infiltrated their hearts. And when Umar came to the verse; "Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…", the emotion reverberated throughout him, shaking him to his core. Maleeha could feel the impact of the words hit her heart and her soul.

Umar completed the prayer and Maleeha mimicked his action, softly concluding the prayer herself. 

Umar turned to his wife, his voice thick with emotion. "I love you so much habibti."

"I love you too habibi," Maleeha replied.

**************************************************

Epilogue

-8 years later-

Eighteen year old Yusra Aziz walked into the house after a tiring day at university. She undid her hijab and greeted her aged father.

"Assalaamualikum dad," she greeted as she pecked his cheek.

"Wa alaikum salaam Yusra, happy birthday!" Umar greeted back. 

"JazakAllah. What would you like for dinner tonight?" Yusra asked.

"Anything," Umar replied. He got up to hug his daughter and whispered a prayer for her. "May Allah bless you with the best in both worlds and grant you a life of ease."

"Ameen," she whispered before clearing her throat. "I found Mum's stuffed beef recipe the other day. Maybe I should make that."

Umar grinned, revealing a slight dimple. "That sounds wonderful."

Two hours later, Yusra set the food on the table and called her father. Umar walked into the room with a box in his hand. 

"We can start eating," Yusra told her father. Eyeing the box, she asked, "What's that?"

"Your mother told me to give this to you when you turned eighteen." He handed her the box.

Yusra's face burst into a smile. "Really?" she gushed. "Oh! Alhumdullillah!"

Umar gave a sad smile. "She would be so proud of you, Yusra."

Maleeha had passed away years later, when Yusra was ten. She passed away with a beautiful smile gracing her face. She became really sick the day before, as the cancer vigorously attacked her body. It was a miracle that she had lived for another five years after being told that she wouldn't make it past six months.

It had been a heart-breaking funeral, it was the day Umar had lost the love of his life. But the way his wife had recited her declaration of one Allah before her death had brought about tranquillity in Umar's heart. The smile on her still face had eased his heart and the dream that he had had of his beloved wife had comforted every fibre of his being. He had dreamt that his wife was in her wedding dress, laughing and smiling and when she looked his way, she blew him a kiss, causing Umar to wake up with a smile on his face.

Umar had created the Burziz Cancer fund, in honour of his wife, shortly after her death. The name 'Burziz" was the combination of Burke and Aziz. It had grown into a large fund which helped out cancer patients. Yusra had recently decided to be a co spokesperson with her father for the Burziz fund. Ammaara and Naeela also assisted with the fund, organising events and fundraisers in Maleeha's name.

Yusra and Umar continued with Maleeha and Umar's anniversary tradition. Each year they spent a day with the less fortunate. It was a beautiful tradition.

Yusra looked at the sad smile on her father's face. She took the box and placed it on one side of the table. "Let's eat!" she said brightly, trying to steer her father's thoughts.

After their meal, Umar thanked his daughter and told her that she had brought back many happy memories of Maleeha. Yusra smiled at her father. She looked exactly like Maleeha and she also had her mannerisms.

She cleared up and took the box to her room. In it were two letters, a few journals, a smaller box with two rings and a loose page. Maleeha took the envelope that was addressed to her, the other envelope was blank.

Maleeha's elegant words flowed onto the page:

______________________
To my darling Yusra:

If you are reading this, you have probably turned eighteen. Alhumdullillah! I cannot believe that my baby is now a young woman. I remember the day you were born like it was just yesterday.

Yusra, do you know what your name means? It means ease. When you were born, your father and I realised that our lives had been so perfectly wonderful, so full of ease. You were the cherry on top, you completed our perfect life.

Sadly, when you were just two years old, I was diagnosed with cancer but Allah still had mercy on me. After I came to accept my fate, you continued to bring about ease in my life. As the quraanic verse goes "Verily, after hardship comes ease..."

I don't know if you will ever get to know me and so I'm writing you this letter. I love you more than you know, more than you will ever know. A lot of the times I see myself in you. 

After I was diagnosed with cancer, I found myself in a very dark place. I was drowning in a sordid, bottomless pit and at first I could not pull myself out of it. Eventually, I got myself out of the realms of darkness and accepted that which Allah had ordained for me. The following two verses had assisted me in accepting my fate:
"Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested?” 
"And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits…" 

I had to remind myself that if this life was perfect, why would we strive for Jannah? Keep that in mind.

Remember, that whatever comes your way and whatever heartbreak and heartache you experience, it is merely a test from Allah. Stay strong in your faith and persevere. Don't let the weakness of the devil’s whispers enter your heart. Remember that you will be tested and no matter what trials and tribulations you are faced with, you will get through it, you will come out stronger. Because, “Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…” And this verse rang true throughout my trials. Wallahi, it is true. Everything that was thrown my way was not more than I could handle. And even though there were moments that I was so completely sure that I would break, that I would crash and fall apart, and that I was beyond repair, I made it through. I made it through it all. Even if the tide is high and the waves are relentless, carry on swimming because the sweetness of reaching the shore is beautiful. Every single heartache was redeemed with another smile, another laugh.

Yusra, I know that I will always be proud of you but I want to give you some advice. Safeguard your salaah. Never miss a prayer, there is no excuse for a missed prayer, give charity, be good and kind to others, keep a smile on your beautiful face and follow our dreams as long as they are not forbidden in islam. Turn to Allah, Al-Mu'min, the Inspirer of Faith...

Find a man that will look after you and respect your father. Don't allow boys to break you, you are too precious for that. 

I hope you're furthering your studies for this world and the next. Safeguard your iman, I want to meet you and your father in Jannah, In Sha Allah.

Your father was so strong and supportive, he is the best person I know. Please look after him, tell him to find happiness. There's another envelope in this box, I want you to give it to him.

There's another loose page in this box, I want you to go through it with your father. It was a list of my goals and I truly hope that I have met each one.

The are two rings in this box. One of them was a gift from my parents when I was sixteen and the other was my wedding ring. I want you to have them both.

The journals are all of the ones I used, it will give you an insight into my life. Read them when you wish and let your father read them too.
______________________

Yusra turned the page and it was another letter, dated a few years later.
______________________

Alhumdullillah! It has been five years since I was initially diagnosed with cancer, and I'm still here. Five years ago I was told that I only had four to six months left and yet, here I am, five years later.

I hope you finish your hifdh. You are already doing so well. Learn the quraan, let it enter your heart in all of its perfect glory.

I hope you and Sakina are still best friends, she seems to be your pillar the way her mother was mine.

I have a feeling that I won't be around much longer. Just know that I love you with all of my heart. You will get through anything. I hope we meet in Jannah.
______________________

The tears streamed down Yusra's face as she clutched the beautiful letter to her heart. She was choked with emotion, unable to move. When she finally pulled herself together, she slipped both rings onto her fingers and took the letter and the loose page to her father. He was sitting in his room, reciting the quraan. 

Yusra smiled, her father hadn't yet noticed her. She was glad that she had fulfilled most of her mother's wishes.

Umar finally looked up and smiled at his daughter. He closed the quraan as she walked towards him.

"This is for you," she said as she handed him the letter. "And this is a list that Mum said we should go through. I'll let you be."

Yusra walked out of the room as Umar opened the envelope, surrounded by emotion. His hands were shaking in anticipation, his heart yearning to read the words from his wife.
______________________

My habibi

You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I thank Allah for blessing me with the most amazing soul I have ever encountered.

Our love is so precious to me, it is a love that is unparalleled and pure. Some may find it a dangerous territory due to its unhinged intensity but for me, it has always been sweet. Since the day you became my husband, your love has motivated me to be better. It was the ecstasy of my soul, embracing your soul and morphing into one. It is as if our hearts were always entwined, in a perfect web of extraordinary love. Your love is like an undying flame, each loving word and act being the fuel. You make me want to be the best that I can be, you make me want to love you more, love you in a way that can never be matched.

And it is because of this love that I urge you to find happiness habibi. Do not dwell on my death, rather focus on our perfect memories that we had created together. 

______________________

The next page was dated a few years later, a week before Maleeha passed away. Umar continued to read.

______________________

Right now I can hear your recitation so beautifully flowing throughout the house. I remember that time I had dreamt that you had recited the quraan to me, only to find out that you really had. It was so beautiful.

Habibi, you are my whole world, my everything. You showed me that true love is your kind of love, you taught me that true love stems from Allah's blessings but most of all, you reminded me that the best type of love is loving for the pleasure of Allah.

You have been so supportive, so selfless and I can never thank you enough. All I can do is pray for you. May Allah give you and Yusra the best in this world and the akhirah.

I can use the ocean as my ink and it will never be enough to explain the depths of my love for you. I truly believe that this type of love is yearned by many and only earned by a few. I don't know what I did in my life that I have been blessed with a love of such perfection.

I can feel my time coming to an end, habibi. And my biggest worry is how you will take it. Be strong for our daughter, she needs you to be strong. Just remember that I will always love you. I hope to meet you and our beautiful daughter in Jannah one day. Live a righteous path and pray that we all will be blessed with heaven. After everything we've been through, our hearts yearn for Jannah.

______________________

The tears poured out of Umar's eyes as he smiled in contentment. His wife's words were so calming, it spoke straight to his soul. He kissed the letter and the sudden scent of his late wife hit him like a cool breeze on a hot, summer day. He sniffed the letter and smiled. Maleeha really had been the love of his life and she would remain the love of his life until his very last breath.

The next day Umar told Yusra to get ready and they made their way to the park.

"This is the park where your mother sponsored and planted trees," Umar told Yusra.

"I remember this! She used to bring me here all the time..."

They made their way to the large tree and Umar crouched in front of the large rock. He lightly placed his fingers over the M + U.

"Is that mum's and your initials?" Yusra asked. Umar nodded as Yusra too, placed her fingers over it.

"Your mum carved this so many years ago," he said as he looked up. "And she personally helped in planting the trees. This one in particular."

Yusra smiled. "She was an incredible woman, wasn't she? I want to be just like her."

Umar looked at his daughter. "You already are." He settled down on the bench and handed the list of Maleeha's goals to his daughter. "Knowing your mother, she would probably want us to make sure she achieved everything on her list." Umar laughed and shook his head as the memories of Maleeha wafted through his mind.

"You know, she wants you to find happiness again," Yusra told her father softly.

"I am happy though. I know she would have wanted me to marry again but I'm okay. In fact, I'm always so busy."

Yusra nodded. "I know. I'm lucky that you make time for me."

"Of course..." Umar trailed off. "I don't want to marry again, I'm content, alhumdullillah. If I do find myself yearning companionship, I'll think about it. But for now, there's nothing else that I want."

Yusra smiled at her father. "Let's get to this, shall we?" She took out a pen and a journal before placing the sheet on the journal.

GOALS:
1. Get into a good university ✔️
2. Pass every year ✔️
3. Graduate at the top of my class ✔️
4. Fall in love with the man I marry ✔️
5. Spend a day doing good ✔️
6. Have kids ✔️
7. Visit Makkah and Madina ✔️
8. Wear the hijaab ✔️
9. Perform all my salaahs ✔️
10. Learn 40 hadiths ✔️
11. Never stop smiling 
12. Always be thankful 
13. Get a great job ✔️
14. Plant a tree ✔️
15. Build a well ✔️
16. Perform random acts of kindness 
17. Teach my children how to perform salaah ✔️
18. Die with a smile on my face. 

Yusra ticked off the following items that had never been ticked off:
11. Never stop smiling ✔️
12. Always be thankful ✔️
16. Perform random acts of kindness ✔️

"She never stopped smiling," mused Umar.

"And she was always thankful, she always taught me to be thankful too," Yusra added.

"She performed random acts of kindness for as long as I remember. Even if it was something as simple as greeting a stranger with a smile to brighten up their day."

Yusra's pen hovered over the last item as Umar said, "I will never forget the smile on her face as she breathed her last..." He cleared his throat before choking back a sob. 

18. Die with a smile on my face. ✔️

Yusra ticked off the last item and hugged her father. "Maleeha Burke Aziz was the most amazing woman I knew. And I want you to read this." Yusra handed him the journal. "It's mostly about you."

Umar smiled at Yusra and she returned the smile. They sat on the bench, each caught up in their own beautiful memories of Maleeha.

Such is life, as Allah promises in his holy book that a believer will be tested. But one should always remember that one will not be tested beyond one can bear. In all of His infinite mercy and wisdom, Allah has created this earth so that humans may experience happiness and contentment but also endure pain and affliction. After all, if this world did not have unhappiness or pain, one would never strive for Jannah and all of its perfect glory.

But we plan, and Allah also plans. Surely, Allah is the best of planners. And Allah knows what is best for every living being on this planet. Allah knows what each person needs. And Allah tests those whom He chooses to test. 

After all, He is Ar-Rahman - the Compassionate, Ar-Rahim - the Most Merciful, Al-Alim - the Knower of All, Al-Hakim - the Perfectly Wise, Al-Muhyi - the giver of life, Al-Muhyi - the taker of life... He is Allah, the most perfect being in all of the worlds, the King of Kings, the protector of hearts, the creator of love, the creator of all...

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Authors note:

And that's a wrap! We have come to the end of Maleeha's journey. I loved writing this story but it was not easy, I became attached to my characters so the decision to end Maleeha's life was not taken lightly. I put it off numerous times as I too, could not part with her. Hence, I decided to include her passing in the epilogue so as to lessen the blow.

I know many of you were also very attached to Maleeha and did not want her life to come to an end. But such is life, there is always an ending. And even though life ends, memories last forever...

'Her Fragile World' aimed to highlight cancer - a disease which is so prevalent in our society - and to remind us all that anything is possible with Allah's mercy. Miracles happen, never give up hope. 

'Her Fragile World' is dedicated to all cancer patients out there (or any other terminally ill patients). You are in our thoughts, you are in our prayers.

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If you would like, please answer the following questions:

1. On a scale of 1 to 10, what score would you give this story?
2. What was your favourite part of this story?
3. Did you find this story knowledgeable/inspiring/motivating?
4. Did you feel that the lessons in this story can be adapted in your life?
5. What type of story would you like to see next by me?

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