Prologue
Aadila Seedat had just about had it. This had to be the third “samoosa run” that she had been through and each one seemed to be worse than the one before.
She sighed in frustration. It wasn’t that she was desperately trying to find a husband. In fact, she would be perfectly happy if she could stay single for the next five years. After all, she was only twenty-two. But it was those incessant aunties that refused to let her be.
It all started at her second cousin’s wedding. Apparently, she needed to get married as soon as possible!
“You’re reaching your expiry date!” An aunty who looked close to a hundred had told her. Aadila had felt like telling the aunty that if anyone was nearing their expiry date, it was probably her. And besides, she was pretty sure that the smell that had emanated from the aunty that day was that of camphor cream.
“Who will marry you after you find a wrinkle on your face. And let me tell you, my girl, they come in your twenties,” another aunty told her. Aadila had to stop herself from glaring at the old lady who looked like she had started wrinkling at the age of sixteen. Okay, so maybe she was being rude but she couldn’t help it.
“My son is so handsome. You MUST meet him!” A third lady announced loudly, dragging a very embarrassed teenager behind her.
Aadila had eventually escaped but it didn’t seem to help because the week following the wedding was filled with phone calls from various people all trying to play matchmaker.
Aadila had told her mother, Fatima, to eventually agree to all the samoosa run requests so that everyone would just leave her alone.
She sighed again, wondering why they had named the meeting of two potential suitors “samoosa run”. Was it because she was obliged to serve samoosas to the family that came to see her? In her opinion, it was an utter waste of samoosas and tea. Because so far, she didn’t plan on marrying any of the guys that had come to see her. Also, she couldn’t understand why these customs were ingrained within the Indian community. She could easily find someone herself, had she been interested during her time at university.
Aadila groaned for what felt like the hundredth time that day.
“What’s wrong?” Her mother asked as she walked into Aadila’s room.
“I’m tired of these samoosa runs. They’re so dumb!”
“I know, sweetie. Sometimes I wish that you had just found someone on campus. I assume you didn’t like this boy?”
Aadila shook her head. “He was ridiculous! Just like the other two!”
Chapter 1
Aadila glanced at herself for the third time in the last ten minutes. Today she would be experiencing her first samoosa run and she was beyond nervous. It wasn’t that she had been excited for it - because she really hadn’t. She just wanted to get the aunties off her back...and who knew? Maybe she’d end up meeting the love of her life.
She turned to her cousin, Sadia, who was three years older than her and who was already married. “Do I look okay?”
“You look perfect. Now relax. It’s going to be okay.”
“Easy for you to say. You met Ahmed on campus.”
Sadia rolled her eyes. “Yes, but I still had to sit through a samoosa run or two. They are usually very relaxed. The guy comes over, you two chat and you see if you like each other and whether you’re compatible.”
“You make everything sound so simple.”
“It is simple!”
Aadila sighed, hoping that her cousin was right.
Before she knew it, her parents had welcomed a small family into their home. After the introductions, she learned that the guy that came to see her was Irfan.
Irfan seemed like a decent guy at first, but then he started talking. He wasn’t bad looking at all, quite skinny but other than that he was easy on the eye.
“So Aadila,” he said smoothly, “how are you today?”
Aadila took a deep breath. “I’m okay, I guess. You?”
He rubbed his chin. “I’m okay. So I guess this is where we ask each other questions?”
Aadila gave him a small smile. “I guess so. What do you do?”
Irfan’s eyes sort of glazed over at her question. “I’m a bodybuilder. One day I want to be a professional bodybuilder. I mean I have the body for it, I just need to work towards it, you know?”
Aadila spluttered. Was this guy for real? He thought he had the body of a bodybuilder? She glanced at his arms again, they were terrifyingly skinny and her thighs seemed to be much larger than his.
He continued, “And I need my wife to gym with me.” He looked her over as if he were studying her body. “And you could use the gym.”
“WHAT?” Aadila asked in horror.
“I don’t mean it in a bad way. I just mean that if you gym, you will have a model’s body.”
Aadila was fuming. “What makes you think that I don’t already have a model’s body? Everything is covered!”
“Well, your arms seem to have extra meat...”
“What?!?”
“I’m just-“
“Excuse me! But you look like a damn toothpick and you’re telling me that I need to gym? Maybe I should give you this extra meat so you can actually look like a bodybuilder!”
“What do you mean? Look at this!” Irfan flexed and pointed to his skinny arm which showed no muscle. “Do you see my gains? I’ve been working hard on this!”
Aadila guffawed. She couldn’t help herself. Irfan was seriously delusional and she wouldn’t have said anything if he hadn’t been so rude. “Whatever dude. I think this meeting is over.”
“See my six-pack!” He lifted his shirt and showed off his stomach which mostly looked like a rib cage with skin.
“Sure. This meeting is over.”
“Not until you admit that I’m a bodybuilder!” Irfan whined.
“I’m not going to admit that,” Aadila retorted.
“But-“
“We’re done here.”
Aadila got up from her seat and casually walked back to her family. “Irfan said he would like to go to the gym. I need to go...pee.”
And just as she walked away, Irfan yelled, “You don’t know what you’re missing! I’ve got muscles!”
A small gasp left his mother’s mouth and Aadila shook her head. Her first samoosa run turned out to be a complete failure.
Chapter 2
To her dismay, Aadila’s second samoosa run was scheduled for the next week. And it just so happened that one guy was coming on Saturday and the next guy was coming on Sunday.
Aadila was sure that this was the result of the town’s aunties. She couldn’t understand why they had to meddle in every single unmarried girl’s life. Didn’t they have anything better to do? Like buy more butter or something?
Aadila glanced at Sadia. “After last week, I have no high hopes for finding the love of my life through a samoosa run.”
Sadia shrugged. “Just because one samoosa run went badly, it doesn’t mean they all will.”
“You’re just trying to make me feel better.”
Sadia giggled. “Well, to be fair... Irfan was something else.”
Aadila tried to suppress an amused smile. “He was. At least this is a funny story to tell. By the way, you’re coming tomorrow as well, right?”
Sadia shook her head. “I would but we’re going to my in-laws tomorrow.”
Aadila groaned. “So I have to do this myself?”
“I’m sorry-“ Just then the doorbell rang.
“Here goes nothing!” Aadila muttered. She turned to her cousin. “Don’t forget to check up on me five minutes into our meeting. If I fix my hijab, it means that I need to get out of there!”
*
Aadila glanced warily at the boy seated across from but he caught her glance and gave her a big smile.
Aadila cleared her throat as he began to speak.
“Aadila? I’m Farooq. You’re a pretty thing, aren’t you?” He said as he closed one eye as if he were in pain.
“Ummm... Thanks. So what do you do?”
“Well, I’m not a photographer but I can picture you and me together.” He closed his one eye again.
“Okay...”
“I’m an architect. Did you study? Do you work?”
“Yeah, I teach at a school nearby.”
“Ah, I thought you liked running marathons.” He gave his one eye blink again.
“Huh?”
“Because you’ve been running through my mind.” His one eye blinks we’re becoming distracting.
“Is there something in your eye?” Aadila blurted distractedly. “I can bring you a mirror.”
“What do you mean?”
“You keep blinking with one eye as if something is bothering you.”
Farooq looked taken aback. “You mean this?” He asked, doing the one eye blink again.
“Yes.”
“I’m winking at you!”
Aadila tried to cover the giggle that erupted in the back of her throat with a cough. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I think there’s something wrong with my eyes.”
“Don’t worry about it. Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Do you know what my shirt is made out of?” Without waiting for a reply, he said, “It’s made from husband material.”
Aadila had to control herself from rolling her eyes. Was Farooq being serious right now?
“You know we almost got lost on our way here but when I saw you, I realized that I just needed directions towards your heart.”
This time Aadila rolled her eyes. “Are you serious?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re literally using the cheesiest pickup lines on me.”
“I’m not. These are all trademarked; by me. And you will be too - once I’ve made you my wife.”
“I haven’t been for a lot of samoosa runs but I’m sure they don’t go like this,” Aadila muttered to herself.
“You’re right. I’m supposed to ask you a bunch of things and you’re supposed to ask me things. But whatever you say, it won’t deter me. Because the only thing I want to change about you is your surname.”
“Please stop.”
“You’re pretty and I’m cute. Together, we’d be pretty cute!” He winked for the hundredth time.
“Seriously. Can you please stop with the pick-up lines and can we have a serious conversation?”
Farooq winked AGAIN. “Okay, what would you like to know?”
“What are you looking for in a wife?”
“I was looking but not anymore because she’s right in front of me.”
Aadila groaned and threw her hands up in frustration just as Sadia walked in. Aadila stared at her cousin pleadingly as her hands flew to her hijab.
“Are you guys done?” Sadia asked.
Aadila nodded just as Farooq said, “You were right when you said there’s something wrong with my eyes, Aadila. Because I can’t take them off you!”
She quickly got up as Sadia tried to stifle her laughter. “This was bad!” She grumbled under her breath as she practically ran past Sadia.
“Where is she going?” Farooq asked Sadia.
“Ummm... Maybe she went to check if there was oil on the stove.”
*
By the time Farooq left, Sadia could not contain her laughter. She looked at Aadila’s angry face and tried to stop laughing but she failed miserably.
“What was THAT?” She managed to say in between fits of laughter.
Aadila sighed. “I wish I knew. I asked him if something was in his eyes because he kept doing this weird squinting thing. It turns out that he was winking. He probably winked more than he blinked. Did he honestly think that we were on some sort of reality show or what?” She collapsed onto her bed, feeling disgruntled.
Chapter 3
Aadila was not looking forward to her next meeting and no one could blame her. Her first two samoosa runs were disastrous. Did she really manage to attract weird guys? Maybe she was the problem. Maybe she was being too fussy.
So instead, she tried to bring a positive attitude to her next meeting. One of them had to go well, right? Even if the meeting didn’t result in a proposal, it would be okay - as long as it was normal.
Aadila made her way downstairs to meet the family that had just entered her house and she gaped.
A young man stood next to his parents, clad in a formal suit, a briefcase clutched in his hand.
Maybe he had a meeting... But then again, it was a Sunday. Aadila quickly looked away when she realized that she had been staring.
He was a good-looking guy. He seemed normal, except for his suit. Then again, no man that came to see her was actually normal. The previous two had looked normal but their actions were ridiculous.
After the usual introductions and a few minutes of casual conversation, Aadila and Raees were instructed to make their way to the dining room where they could talk.
There were two chairs perched opposite each other on the side of the dining room where it was relatively empty but Raees went straight to the table and took a seat.
Aadila gingerly took a seat opposite him and frowned when he placed his briefcase on the table.
“Right,” he said in a businesslike tone. “Here’s my relationship CV - or resume - whatever you’d like to call it.” He handed her a document.
She stared at it questioningly. “What?”
“It’s a CV. Curriculum Vitae. It-“
“I know what’s a CV but this isn’t a job interview.”
Raees sighed. “Actually, it is. A samoosa run is basically an interview. To see if we’re compatible. Just like one sees whether the person they interview will be compatible for the company. Anyway, I assume that you don’t have a CV?”
“I don’t. A samoosa run is meant to be casual.”
“Then it doesn’t always get taken seriously. How do you know that the guy coming to see you didn’t only come for the samoosas? I actually know people that do that.”
“Well, bringing a CV to a samoosa run and dressing as if this is a job interview is a bit...unconventional.”
“Be that as it may. All my details are there. But since you don’t have a CV for me, there are a few things that I’d like to ask you.”
“Okay, sure. Go ahead,” Aadila said uncertainly.
“What’s your body count?”
“Huh? What do you-“
“Your body count. Mine is in my CV.”
“Uh... Well, I’ve never killed anyone - let alone hurt another person.”
“I mean how many people have you - how do I put this - smashed?” Raees said.
“I’m not follow- Ohhhh.” Aadila finally realized what he was asking. “Are you seriously asking that?”
“Yes.”
“Umm... I’ve never even had a boyfriend before. I’m not like that.”
“Everyone is like that. This is the twenty-first century.”
Aadila shook her head in disbelief. “Just because many people are, it doesn’t mean everyone is like that.”
“So you’re telling me you’ve never kissed a guy before?” Raees asked, still sounding so formal and businesslike.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“I’m not asking you to believe me.”
“Already, there’s no trust in this relationship,” Raees said.
“Firstly, this isn’t a relationship and secondly, I don’t care what you think,” Aadila said hotly.
“How do you expect to find someone who is willing to marry you if you have such a temper. This will never fly in the business world.”
“Okay, Raees! Newsflash! This is NOT the business world. This is the real world. And with that attitude, how do YOU expect to find someone willing to marry you?”
Raees shook his head. “I’m a guy. It’s easy for me to find a girl. But you’re a girl, you know it won’t be so easy for you.”
“Get out,” Aadila said through gritted teeth.
“But-“
“Get out. You’re rude and obnoxious. I don’t want to spend another minute in your presence.”
“You’re the only one-“
“I said get out!” Aadila practically whisper-shrieked.
*
By the time Raees had left, Aadila felt completely drained. He had left her feeling mentally exhausted and she wondered how many more samoosa runs she’d be able to sit through if they all went like this.
Chapter 4
The next two weeks were fairly quiet but the phones had been ringing off the hook. Each aunty that called the Seedat household insisted that they had found the perfect boy for Aadila.
Aadila sighed in disbelief. These annoying aunties would not stop until she was either married or too old to marry. How many more years of this was she forced to endure and if she stuck it out, would she survive it? She was sure she wouldn’t. Her death would be labeled as ‘death by meddling aunties’.
After those blissful two weeks, Aadila was ‘back on the market’. She sighed as she robotically got ready for her fourth samoosa run. This was becoming a tedious chore.
*
Ashraf seemed like a good guy. The beginning of their conversation went relatively well and for the first time, things seemed refreshingly normal.
Ashraf said that he was a bookkeeper and that he planned to further his studies. He seemed to have a good head on his shoulders. He had goals and ambitions, which was somewhat comforting.
But the refreshingly normal atmosphere soon became somewhat uncomfortable because there was a weird stench in the air. Aadila tried to discreetly sniff her underarms. She knew that she had worn deodorant so what was that smell?
She sniffed the air again.
“So?” Ashraf prompted.
“Sorry?” Aadila asked. She hadn’t heard what he said.”
“I was asking if you would like to continue working after you get married.”
The smell hit her nose again and Aadila gasped before quickly covering up with a cough. The smell was bad and it was so embarrassing. She hoped that Ashraf couldn’t smell anything. Imagine what he would say about her house.
“Umm, yes. Yes, I’d like to work after I marry.”
“That’s fine with me.”
Aadila smiled. She was sure that this was going well but if only that nasty stench could disappear. Otherwise, Ashraf would be saying no to her.
“And do you enjoy cooking?” He asked.
“Sometimes. It depends on my mood. Sometimes I love the kitchen and sometimes I just want to relax and not stress about cooking.”
“Well, you won’t have to stress about cooking with me.”
“Really?” Aadila asked in interest. “Do you cook?”
“Sometimes. But also, the only thing I eat is beans. Seriously, I eat beans for lunch and supper. Almost every day. I had it twice today as well. For breakfast and lunch.”
Aadila’s eyes widened. “Really?” She asked. Suddenly, it dawned upon her. The smell had to be coming from Ashraf.
“Yes. I know it gives you gas but I can’t help it. And gas is normal so it’s not really a deterrent.”
“I... Umm...”
Ashraf laughed. “I know, I know. Speaking about gas or letting out gas is usually something embarrassing. But I don’t find it embarrassing. It’s a natural response of our bodies. It makes us human. I mean, I’ve been letting out gas since I got here and I don’t think anyone has even noticed.”
Aadila sniffed the air in disgust. “I... The smell?”
“The smell lasts for only a few seconds so it’s not a bad thing. Relax. You can fart right now if you want and I won’t even flinch.”
“No-“
“Go ahead.”
“No, I’m-“
“Really, go ahead. It doesn’t bother me.”
“No, thank you,” Aadila managed to say. She didn’t know whether she should laugh or cry. The whole situation seemed way too surreal. Did things like this really happen or was she just the exception?
She closed her eyes, hoping that this was just a nightmare but when she opened them again, nothing had changed.
Ashraf was staring at her with a lopsided grin on her face and Aadila felt weirdly infuriated. Why did all the weird guys have to come and see her? She just wanted to have one completely normal samoosa run but apparently that was impossible.
Aadila tried to take a deep breath but almost choked. She needed to get out of there. The fumes of Ashraf’s natural gases were getting to her head. “I think we should get back to our families,” she said.
“Oh. I thought we still had a lot to speak about.”
“Um... I think we spoke about everything we needed to.” Before he could respond, Aadila dashed out of her chair and out of the dining room before taking a deep breath. She felt suffocated in Ashraf’s presence and even though he was such a nice guy, she didn’t think she would survive a lifetime (let alone one hour) in his presence if he continued to let out such toxic farts.
Forlornly, she opened her window, feeling completely drained. She took a deep breath and promised herself that she would always appreciate fresh air. If there was one thing she learned today, it was that the scent in the air was very very important.
Chapter 5
Aadila’s next samoosa run was scheduled during the week. It felt weird to have someone come over on a Wednesday evening. Apparently, the family could only make it on that day.
She sighed as she heard the doorbell ring. “Here goes nothing,” she told herself.
As the family entered the hallway, Aadila squinted. A chubby lady who looked to be in her mid-fifties, dressed completely in sequins, smiled brightly. Behind her, there was a young man and an older man, whom Aadila assumed was the father.
Aadila glanced at the young man, he was somewhat good-looking. Aadila wondered what horrific secrets would be hiding behind his normal-looking exterior.
A thought crossed her mind and Aadila burst into a fit of coughs before she quickly excused herself. What if it was the older man that came to see her? She would honestly start crying if that were the case.
When she returned, the chubby aunty was speaking to her mother while the older man awkwardly made conversation with her father. The younger man sat quietly on one side.
The aunty continued to speak for a long time, chattering excitedly as if no one else existed.
Finally, the aunty gestured to the younger man. “This is my son, Dawood. The two of you can have a chat.”
Aadila breathed a sigh of relief, not realising that she had been holding her breath. With her luck, she almost expected the aunty to say that the older man was there to see her.
Dawood and Aadila made their way to the dining room. After taking their seats, Dawood cleared his throat. “I need to apologise on behalf of my mother, she likes to talk.”
“No worries, she seems sweet-“
Just then, his mother walked in. “Oh dah-ling!” She exclaimed as she made her way to Aadila. “I barely said anything to you! And you might be my future daughter-in-law! I get so caught up in my own world and- Oh! I love what you’re wearing! When you marry my son, we can share clothing. I’m sure I’m the same size as you! And girl, get yourself some sequins! We can get matching outfits and everything!”
“Mom!” Dawood exclaimed, his face as red as beetroot.
“Sorry! I just had to properly introduce myself to my future daughter-in-law!” With that, she swished away.
Dawood turned to Aadila again. “I’m really sorry about that. My mother is something...special.”
Aadila managed a smile. His mother was so weird but she seemed okay.
“So what do you do?” She asked him.
“I work for my father. He has a business and I manage it.”
“Okay, did you study anything?”
“Yes. I started studying finance but I didn’t finish. I found it was too much for me to handle. Did you study?”
“I did. I’m a teacher.”
“Do you like it?”
“I love it!”
Aadila and Dawood spoke for a while and he seemed really nice. For the first time, Aadila thought that he might be the one. That was until he said that he and his wife would have to stay with his mother.
Aadila cleared her throat nervously. “And do you plan on ever getting your own place?”
Dawood looked at Aadila. “No. You saw my mother. She won’t allow me to. And I don’t mind. That way I’ll always get to have my mother’s cooking.”
“Do you think that’s healthy for a marriage?”
“Yes. My mother and my wife need to be close. I know you thought my mother was kidding when she said she and my wife need to dress the same but she wasn’t. And I don’t mind it, to be completely honest.”
“And what if your wife refuses?”
“Well, it depends. If my mother insists, I will insist.”
“You’re joking, right?”
“No. I’d do anything to keep my parents happy.”
“Which I greatly respect. But what about keeping your wife happy?”
“Well, I don’t know. I guess we’ll have to see what happens.”
Aadila sighed. Great, just great. This guy seemed to still be attached to his mother. Almost as if no one had ever cut his umbilical cord. It was frustrating and annoying. But Aadila still had hope.
“So do you expect your parents to go with you whenever you go out with your wife?”
“Yes. Even on my honeymoon, I expect my parents to come with me.”
“On your honeymoon?” Aadila asked incredulously.
“I don’t see anything wrong with that,” Dawood said nonchalantly.
“There’s a lot wrong with that! Your wife is your wife and your mother is your mother. You need to remember that that’s two different relationships that you have to maintain. You can’t make one happy at the other's expense and you have to be fair and just.”
“How can I disrespect my mother by disagreeing with her?”
“It’s not disrespectful to disagree with your mother. Especially if she’s in the wrong. You just need to do it respectfully.”
“Well, my mother is never wrong.”
Aadila slumped back, completely defeated. She didn’t want to even bother trying to explain to the dimwit in front of her that he was a grown man and not a two-year-old boy.
Chapter 6
For the next month, Aadila refused to go for another samoosa run no matter how many times the aunties called and insisted that they had found “the perfect guy”.
But after a month, Aadila agreed on seeing someone. She didn’t even know why she agreed, she just did.
So when she found out the guy’s name, she immediately started to search for his name on all social media networks, almost hoping to find a red flag so that she could stop this before it even started. But she couldn’t find a single red flag. He seemed way too normal and way too handsome. Aadila was sure that there was something wrong with him and she knew that she’d only find out once she actually met him.
When Zaahid came to her house, Aadila had to suck in her breath. He was ridiculously attractive. Had it not been for Aadila’s experience with her previous samoosa runs, she would have probably fallen in love with this guy. But she was wiser now and she knew that looks could hide many flaws.
Aadila stared at the handsome man in front of her. Again she wondered what was wrong with him. There had to be something...
But when he introduced himself and started speaking, it seemed too good to be true. His questions flowed well, he made her laugh, he answered all of her questions.
“So Aadila, what are your hobbies?” Zaahid asked. None of the other guys that came to see her had asked her that.
“I love reading, trying to sketch - I’m not great at it but it’s so therapeutic - relaxing, hot baths, baking, and sometimes I like cooking. I have to be in the mood to cook and when I am, I love it but if I’m not in the mood, I hate it. It’s a love-hate relationship,” she paused when Zaahid laughed. “What are your hobbies?
“I love learning new things, travelling, eating out, cars... I could go into that but I doubt you’d want to hear about my obsession with cars.”
Aadila laughed. “I doubt I’d understand what you’re saying. I don’t speak cars.”
“Then I’ll save your ears from the torture. I like playing soccer and cricket. I’d like to think I’m the next best thing but I don’t think many people will agree with me.”
Aadila giggled again. This seemed to be going way too well and it made her nervous.
“What are you looking for in a wife?” Aadila asked.
“I want a companion. Someone who will stand by me, no matter what. I want someone who’s open to trying new things with me. And hey, if she cooks and cleans, all the better. Otherwise, I’ll have to get someone to do that. What are you looking for in a husband?”
“A man that supports me, that lifts me up when I’m down. Someone kind and someone I can find comfort in. Someone who lets me be me and who doesn’t want to change me...” she trailed off.
Just then, Sadia walked in. She looked at Aadila questioningly, wondering if she needed to intervene. Aadila shook her head slightly and gave her cousin a smile.
“Is this a buy one, get one situation?” Zaahid asked.
Aadila and Sadia looked at him quizzically.
“Huh?”
He gestured towards Aadila and then Sadia. “Buy one, get one. Marriage proposals.”
Aadila burst out laughing and rolled her eyes.
But Zaahid had a straight face and when Aadila saw that, the laugh died. “You’re seriously asking that?”
Zaahid nodded. “I want more than one wife and hey, if I can do two samoosa runs right now, why not?” He looked at Sadia appreciatively.
Sadia glared at Zaahid. “I’m married!” She said frostily.
“That’s too bad. Since you’re already friends, you would have gotten along as sister wives.”
Sadia stalked off, clearly fuming.
Aadila turned to Zaahid. There was a part of her that was hoping he was just joking. “Are you serious?”
“I’m a man. I can’t settle down with only one woman. You’re beautiful, Aadila. But I can’t spend the rest of my life with one woman, no matter how much I love her.”
“And I don’t want to marry a man who will never be content with only me!” Aadil cried out.
“Do you think such a man exists? Because men love women. And one is just not enough.”
“Well, I can never accept that. I’d rather be alone. It might work for some women but it does not work for me.”
“Are you sure you won’t even consider it?”
“No! And besides, you were literally checking out my cousin IN FRONT OF ME!”
“I’m a man.”
“That’s a sorry excuse. Didn’t you ever learn that you should lower your gaze?”
“I did and I’ve tried but I might as well show my future wife my true colours, don’t you think? Wouldn’t it be worse if we were married and then you found out? Let me tell you something, it doesn’t matter who you marry. Eventually, he will want another wife.”
“We’re done here.”
“Are you sure you won’t consider my proposal?”
“No. And not a lot of women will. For those that will, I admire their strength. I’m not that woman. I will never be. And In-Sha-Allah, I will never have to experience it.”
Zaahid sighed. “You’re a pretty girl, Aadila. You would’ve made a fabulous first wife.”
“Thanks, but no thanks. We’re done here, Zaahid.” With that, Aadila got up and walked off, Zaahid close behind her.
When they got to the lounge, all eyes turned to them. Everyone looked hopeful but Aadila kept her face neutral.
When Zaahid and his family left, Aadila finally exploded in anger.
Chapter 7
Aadila had one more samoosa run scheduled and she swore that this would be the last. She refused to sit through another meeting if this one didn’t go well. She was tired of getting ready for a man that seemed perfectly fine on the outside but who had serious issues that were only uncovered later. She was tired of having to speak to aunties that could potentially be her future mother-in-law. She was tired of serving tea and samoosas to strangers. She was just tired.
Maybe she was the problem, she thought. How was it possible that the six men that came to see her were all faulty? Or was it normal for them to be this faulty? Were men just like that? Was she expecting too much from a man? But when she raised her concerns with Sadia, she confirmed that that was not the case. Men weren’t supposed to be like this. This was actually unheard of. Aadila was sure that she only attracted weirdos.
She waited for the next family to come. This time, she didn’t even bother wearing decent shoes. She wore her fluffy slippers which looked old but she didn’t care.
When the family came, Aadila was confused. There were two young men and she didn’t know which one came to see her. The one was handsome and seemed sure of himself whilst the other looked very awkward. When she looked closely, she noticed that the awkward one was also good-looking.
From the introductions, all Aadila got were the names of the two guys and she didn’t know which was which. Ilyas came to see her, the other guy was Uwais. She wondered why they both came. Maybe Uwais was the brother. She glanced at the two men again and wished that Ilyas was the guy that looked more confident. The awkward-looking one looked like he was terrified of something.
They both got up when they were told that they could chat in private and Aadila was even more confused. What was going on? She glanced at her parents and even they looked utterly confused. No one said anything as they made their way to the dining room.
When they all settled down, Aadila looked at them in confusion, waiting for an explanation.
The confident one started to speak. “We know that this is unconventional and probably very weird but Ilyas is very shy.” He motioned to the awkward-looking guy and Aadila’s heart sank.
“Okayyy... So are you going to introduce us and then leave or...?”
Uwais laughed nervously. “I’m so so sorry to do this. I know it’s weird and I hate to put you in this position. Ilyas can’t speak to you himself so he asked me to speak on his behalf. He usually takes his brother to samoosa runs but this time he dragged me with.”
“And you’re his...?”
“I’m a friend of his.”
Ilyas shifted uncomfortably and Aadila’s eyes flicked to him. “How is this going to work?” She asked.
“I guess I’ll ask the questions Ilyas asks me to ask. Is that okay with you?”
Aadila remained silent for some time and then gave a small shrug. “This is not normal but I guess it’s fine.”
Ilyas looked at his hands and then whispered something to Uwais. Uwais looked like he wanted to run away.
“He asked what’s your name? I’m really sorry. This is uncomfortable.”
Ilyas glared at him and Uwais whispered, “Sorry! But it is!”
“Aadila. I’d ask your name but I already know both of your names.”
Ilyas whispered something again. “He asked if you work or if you stay at home?” Uwais said.
“I work, I’m a teacher and before he asks you, I plan on working even after I’m married,” Aadila answered.
“I don’t blame you. If it’s something you love, you shouldn’t give it up for a man.” Uwais responded.
“Exactly!” Aadila exclaimed. “You don’t know how many times I got asked whether I’ll stop working after I get married. Especially by aunties. As if it’s their concern. I like kids and I want to teach.”
“We’re in the twenty-first century. It amazes me how that question is still asked,” Uwais responded. “And the dreaded aunties! I know all about them.”
Ilyas shifted uncomfortably and quietly cleared his throat. “Sorry,” Uwais said. “I’m really not sure how this works.”
He whispered something to Uwais again. “He wants to know if you’ll manage to cook and clean and work after you’re married,” Uwais asked with a blush.
“Is he looking for a wife or a maid?” Aadila whispered under her breath.
“Sorry, I really didn’t want to ask that,” Uwais said in embarrassment.
It was Aadila’s turn to feel embarrassed. “Did you hear what I said?” She asked Uwais.
He nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“Ugh. Don’t be. You’re not asking these questions.” She turned to Ilyas who had gone red. “No. Some days I’m very busy and I can’t cook and clean and work. Other days, I can manage everything and even do more.” She turned back to Uwais. “Does he EVER speak?”
“He does. He’s just very shy and he doesn’t know how to speak to strangers.”
“Well, what happens if I say I want to marry him? Will you always be around to speak on his behalf?”
Ilyas grew even redder and shook his head before whispering something to Uwais.
“You can’t say that!” Uwais said to him in return. He whispered something back and Uwais responded with a disgruntled “fine.”
“He said when you’re married, he will talk to you but sometimes he’ll get his mother to speak on his behalf because sometimes he doesn’t like to speak.”
“Does that mean-“
“He wants his mom to stay with you guys.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry. This is so so weird.”
“This is ridiculous!” Aadila exploded. “Honestly, I said this would be the last samoosa run because frankly, I’m tired. Each guy seems weirder than the last but this is just something else! How can you expect someone to speak on your behalf and then make ridiculous demands like saying sometimes your mother will speak on your behalf?”
Ilyas looked like he wanted to run away and Uwais sighed. “I know. And I’m sorry you had to go through weird samoosa runs before. I don’t agree with any of this and I don’t even want to be here.” He turned to Ilyas. “You can’t make such ridiculous demands. You’re my friend but sometimes you don’t think.” He turned back to Aadila. “I don’t even know why I agreed to this.”
Aadila glared at Ilyas and then looked at Uwais. The look on Uwais’s face her laugh. At first, she just giggled before her giggle turned into a loud laugh. She clamped her hand over her mouth and tried to take a deep breath. After a couple of minutes of silent laughter, she wiped the tears from her eyes and looked at a bewildered Uwais. “I’m just trying to imagine what made you agree to do this and I’m trying to imagine being in your shoes. It’s probably the most embarrassing part about this whole situation. And besides, you look more embarrassed than your friend.”
Uwais laughed uncomfortably at first before a fit of laughter overcame him. When he caught his breath, he looked at Aadila. “Clearly I didn’t think this through!”
“Clearly!” Aadila echoed. “What do you do?”
“I’m a lawyer.”
“For a lawyer, this wasn’t such a great decision that you made. And for someone who should be able to argue anything, you didn’t argue this with Ilyas.”
Uwais gave a crooked grin. “Let’s just say that this hasn’t been one of my brightest moments. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“I don’t think you were thinking,” Aadila said with a playful grin
“Well, now I know. I’ve learned my lesson. I will never take someone with me on a samoosa run to speak on my behalf.”
Oh, you’ve never done this before?” Aadila asked.
“No, I was too career-driven but I think it’s time to settle down. I’ll take this as my trial run.”
“Well, if it makes you feel any better. You seem to be the most normal person I’ve encountered from all my experiences with samoosa runs. Unless you’re hiding something. You won’t tell me that you’re an undercover bodybuilder or that I should dress like your mom, right? Or worse, will you say something like I’ll be a great first wife but you can’t live with one woman forever?”
Uwais burst out laughing. “That all seems a little far-fetched but no, I don’t have any weird secrets. I’m a lawyer. Apparently, I’m boring.”
“You think I’m joking about all those examples? Those are real-life examples! That’s why I refuse to sit through another samoosa run. I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.”
“You’re kidding! Did people really say those things to you?”
Aadila nodded. “Sadly.” She glanced at Ilyas. “As for you, please get yourself some help. Social anxiety is real and even if you label it as ‘being shy’, you need to get help. This can ruin your life. You’re your own person.”
“That’s exactly what I’ve been telling him!” Uwais exclaimed.
Aadila nodded. “It’s nothing to feel bad about. We all have our issues. Ilyas, I wish you luck but please, get help. Your life will only change for the better, In-Sha-Allah.” She turned to Uwais. “I guess this meeting is over.”
Uwais nodded. “I guess so. Thank you for not running for the hills and thank you for advising Ilyas. I can see you meant that in a good way.”
“I should thank you for not running for the hills. If you did, I’m pretty sure we would have still been sitting in silence. And if it makes you feel better, you’ll probably ace your first samoosa run! Trust me, I’ve been through too many so I would know.”
Uwais laughed. “Thanks for that boost of confidence. One day, I’ll let you know how it went.”
Aadila nodded and smiled.
“By the way,” Uwais said as he walked past her, “I love your shoes.”
Aadila looked down and blushed. She had forgotten that she was wearing slippers.
After Uwais and Ilyas left, Aadila flopped on the couch and sighed deeply. “I’m done!” She told her mother. “I can’t sit through another samoosa run. Ilyas was the shy guy and he didn’t say one word! He made Uwais speak on his behalf! I mean, how is that even remotely normal?”
Her mother, Fatima, looked at her sympathetically. “I’m sorry. From now on I’ll tell the aunties that you’re not interested.”
“That will be for the best.”
Chapter 8
A couple of hours later, the house phone rang. These days, Aadila didn’t even bother picking it up because the calls were never for her... But they always were about her.
After a couple of minutes, her mother came to her. “So that was actually Ilyas’s mother.”
Aadila stared at her mother. “You can’t tell me that he actually likes me after everything I told him.”
“Actually, Uwais really liked you. She said that he asked Ilyas if he minded and he didn’t so we should expect a call from Uwais’s mother. If he comes for a samoosa run, will you be open to that?”
Aadila blinked slowly, unsure what she was hearing.
“Aadila?”
Aadila turned red. She had also taken a liking towards Uwais but she hadn’t even entertained the idea that he may like her. Slowly, Aadila nodded.
So when Uwais’s mother called, she had expected another samoosa run. Instead, Uwais’s mother said that he didn’t want to put Aadila through another samoosa run so they could chat over the phone and see if they have the same visions.
Aadila was surprised and the more she thought about it, the more she realised that that was one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for her. For once, a guy seemed to consider her feelings. The rest all seemed to be so self-absorbed. This was like a breath of fresh air and exactly what she needed.
*
Aadila wondered how this had happened. One minute she was in a very awkward samoosa run and the next, she had fallen in love.
She and Uwais had chatted a few times on the phone until they realised that they were made for each other. Thereafter, Uwais and his family came to formally propose to Aadila and a few months later, they were married.
Aadila stared at her husband and giggled. They were driving to their new home and she felt so incredibly happy.
“What’s so funny?” Uwais asked.
“One minute, I was sitting through an awkward encounter and now here we are.”
Uwais laughed. “You promised to tell me about all your other samoosa runs.”
“You want to hear them now?”
“Why not?”
Aadila laughed. “You won’t believe me. Even I don’t believe some of the situations I encountered. I’ll give you all the details some other time but for now, I’ll tell you briefly what happened. The first guy that came to see me insisted he was a bodybuilder. I would have believed him but he was incredibly skinny and then he told me that I should start to gym.”
“You’re kidding!”
“I wish. The second guy only used pick-up lines on me. That was weird. He had been winking at me and I thought something was wrong with his eye. The third guy treated the samoosa run like a business interview. I mean he came in a suit and had a briefcase and relationship CV!”
“A what? Is that even a thing?”
“A relationship CV. A CV about past relationships and what he expects and things like that.”
Uwais guffawed. “That doesn’t sound normal!”
“It wasn’t! The fourth guy kept farting and he said he only ate beans. The fifth guy wanted me and his mother to wear matching clothing and he wanted his parents to join him on his honeymoon.”
“I’m sorry, WHAT?” Uwais asked incredulously. “Where were these people found?”
“I wish I knew. Where was I? Oh right! Then the sixth guy wanted more than one wife and had the nerve to ask my cousin, Sadia, if the samoosa run was a ‘buy one, get one’ situation! But the weirdest had to be the seventh samoosa run.”
Uwais was laughing hard. “What was the seventh samoosa run like?” He asked after he caught his breath.
“Well, this guy came with his friend. He refused to speak and his friend had to do all the talking.”
Uwais grinned. “And his friend fell in love with you.”
“You fell in love with me then?” Aadila asked.
“I did. But it felt awkward because of the situation.”
“I didn’t know you fell in love with me...” Aadila mused.
“Well, do you blame me? You were funny, spoke your mind and did I mention that I found you so so beautiful?”
“Awww! And did I tell you that when you first came, I was hoping you were Ilyas? Because no one had mentioned which of you were Ilyas and all I knew was that Ilyas was there to see me. Speaking of him, how is he doing?”
“He’s doing well. He’s improved a lot after starting therapy.”
“That’s great!”
“Let’s backtrack for a second. So you admit it?”
“Admit what?”
“That you found me attractive when you saw me?”
Aadila playfully swatted her husband’s arm. “Yes. But have I told you how incredibly handsome I find you?”
“I don’t think you have.”
“Well, I do.”
“And do you love me yet?”
Aadila blushed. “I do.”
“So say it.”
“I love you, Uwais.”
“And I love you, Aadila.”
•••The End•••
